This Side of the Grave (Night Huntress, #5)(36)
Bones said nothing, but a glance at his face confirmed that he agreed with every word. My fists clenched as angry despair welled up in me. Dammit, why did it always have to come down to taking the bloodiest road or risking death and defeat? Couldn’t problems for once be worked out by negotiation, instead of just seeing who could kill the most opponents?
“It won’t always be this way,” Bones said quietly, sensing the source of my frustration. “You’re still very new to this world, but once sods like Apollyon see they can’t break you, they’ll move on to easier game.”
Vlad gave a shrug in concurrence. “I’m rarely challenged anymore, even though I have my fair share of enemies. When you respond harshly enough the first few times, it makes other adversaries less eager to test your mettle later.”
I blew air out in a tight sigh without asking the question logic stated neither of them could answer anyway. How many enemies do I have to kill before the rest of them decide it’s not worth it to take me on? And the more frightening questions—what sort of person would I be by the time I reached that point? Would I even recognize myself anymore? Was survival really worth giving up so many pieces of my soul?
Bones came nearer, taking my face between his strong, pale hands and gazing at me as if I was the only person around for miles.
“Do you think me an evil man? A wretched bloke you’d have been better off never having met?”
“Of course not,” I said at once, hurt that he’d even wonder such a thing. “I love you, Bones. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m not half as honorable as you are.”
A slight scoff sounded behind me. I ignored that, concentrating on the dark brown eyes boring into mine.
“Yet you know I’m a killer. So if you believe I’m a good man despite that, then you know you can still be a good person even though, sometimes, circumstances will require you to act harsher than you’d prefer.”
“Eh, I’ll be inside,” Vlad said with another soft scoff. “For some reason, I feel the urge to watch Hitman followed by Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”
I ignored that as well, still staring into Bones’s eyes and feeling the steady thrum of power coming from his hands. Yes, Bones was a killer, but that wasn’t what I saw when I looked at him. I saw the person who’d taught me how to accept myself when no one else wanted me to. Who loved me without any of the fears or conditions I’d first put on our relationship, and who’d risked death several times for my life, my mother’s, my friends, and countless other people he’d never even met when he took on an undead white slavery ring. All of that had just been in the past decade, too. I’d probably never know all the things Bones had done for others in the time before he met me, or the centuries before I was even born.
Killer, yes, but that was the smallest part of him in my eyes. I was a killer, too, but he gave me hope that I could learn to make it the smallest part of me, even if it was necessary in the world I’d chosen to live in.
“As long as you’re with me, I can handle it,” I said, reaching up to touch his face. “I can handle anything with you.”
“I’ll always be with you, Kitten. Always,” Bones rasped before his lips closed over mine.
Even though he was inside the house, I could still hear Vlad’s sardonic mutter of “Where’s a tissue when I need one?”
I turned my face away from Bones after a long moment, ending our kiss, and called out, “If you’re not too busy watching Hitman, I hear Dracula 2000 is a good movie.”
“Vicious,” came Vlad’s reply, amusement clear in his tone. “Just make sure you hold on to that ruthless attitude until Apollyon’s been defeated, Catherine.”
I couldn’t help my grin at his emphasis on the name I was born with but rarely went by anymore. Bones rolled his eyes, putting his arm around my waist as we walked into the house.
“If it’s not too much trouble, Tepesh, we could use some new clothes, blood, and a place to sleep. I don’t fancy retuning to New Orleans until it’s time to meet with Marie, in case more of this ghoul’s mates are hanging about.”
Vlad came out of a room down the hall. “I only arrived yesterday, so this house doesn’t have much, but it does have all of those things. Maximus.”
The tawny-haired vampire I remembered from my stay at Vlad’s home in Romania came out, bowing once to Vlad before gesturing to Bones and me.
“Please, come with me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Seeing the spectral forms twining around the whitewashed crypts inside of Saint Louis Cemetery Number One made me miss Fabian. Who knew I’d get so attached to a ghost? But just because Fabian was transparent didn’t mean he wasn’t also a great friend. Most of the ghosts in the cemetery weren’t sentient like he was. They were just shades of their former selves, no thought, no feelings, just repeating the same actions over and over like a snapshot on a Mobius strip. Occasionally, I saw some spooks that clearly had all their ectoplasmic marbles like Fabian did. They gave Bones and me looks ranging from curious to disdainful as we waited outside the cemetery gates. They were locked, a warning to visitors that no one but the dead or wannabe dead should be inside the graveyard’s walls at night.
I doubted we’d be attacked by any ghouls so close to Marie Laveau’s preferred meeting place, but Bones was rigid enough to shatter as I ran a hand along his arm.