This Place of Wonder (76)
He makes a noise and pulls me harder into him, his hands traveling over my back, down to my ass. I follow suit, tugging his shirt out the back of his pants so that I can touch his skin, and at the feeling of bare flesh, hot and smooth, I make a noise myself. I want to tear his clothes off, bite him, ride him like a bronco.
I break away and look up. “Is this okay? Do you think . . .”
“Very okay,” he says, and his hand is under my skirt, on the back of my thighs. “I think yes.”
“Let’s go upstairs.”
The balcony doors are open and we shed our clothes in the breeze. It feels inevitable, obvious, the only possible thing that could happen. We fall together in fierce, almost bruising intensity at first. Lightning crackles and explodes outside the windows as two bodies give each other the meal they’ve been so starved for.
And then we begin again, taking our time, exploring nooks and crannies, kissing and kissing and kissing and finally falling asleep naked beneath the covers, tangled in the most natural possible way.
As I’m drifting off, I think, Is it possible to fall in love at first sight?
Chapter Thirty-Four
Norah
A man is in the kitchen when I come down the next morning. He’s making espresso with a machine I’ve never once used. “Wow, that smells amazing.”
“Hello.” He looks up and I realize he’s the guy from the coffee shop the other day. He frowns slightly. “I recognize you from the Brewed Bean, don’t I?”
“Yeah. I used to live here. Or, well, I do live here for the moment. Maya’s letting me stay.”
He nods, focus returning to the nozzle dripping extreme coffee into a cup. He’s already made one, with frothed milk in a big mug, which I assume is for Maya. I look for her and spy her by the pool in the soft, cool air of morning, wearing a lime-green T-shirt dress and no shoes. She looks content. Cosmo is leashed beside her so he won’t fall in the pool.
I look back to the guy, who also has that just-laid easiness about him, his feet bare as he carries the coffee across the tiles to the door and settles one by Maya’s left elbow. The connection between them is practically visible, shining with iridescent exuberance between them, around them.
It makes me painfully, embarrassingly jealous. For the space of an entire minute, I stand by the island and stare at them, wishing for Augustus, or for the Augustus I first knew, not the one who betrayed me, betrayed everyone, all of us.
And yet.
I still miss him, the bastard.
With more vigor than is actually required, I grind beans for the french press, and set water to boil in the kettle. While I wait for it, I lean on the counter and think about the tasks of the day. I was in too much of a state last night to get any more work done, so today I’ll hole up in the bedroom I’ve slept in the past two nights, which I think must have been Maya’s at one time, and continue my research into Meadow’s life.
“Norah, please join us,” Maya calls over her shoulder. “It’s beautiful out here this morning.”
When my coffee is finished, I carry it out to the patio a little shyly. It’s not like I’ve been included in much of anything, and it’s a relief to be around people close to my age. I think the guy, who introduces himself as Ayaz, is a little older, but not as old as Meadow and Augustus and all the people I’ve been surrounded with.
It’s nothing. We just drink coffee in the sunshine, commenting on the edge of pink in the smoke-tinged air and the high level of the surf and what to make for breakfast.
It’s nothing and it’s everything, because it’s the first time I’ve really been able to breathe for nearly two weeks.
So it seems like the least I can do is make breakfast. It’s simple enough, scrambled eggs with cheese and toast, but we all devour it hungrily. We’re finishing up, swinging our legs from the barstools, when Meadow shows up. At the first sight of her, I know something is not quite right—she’s slightly unkempt, her hair left out of a braid to tumble over her arms and shoulders, her face showing every single minute of her life on earth, her jeans damp on the hems. She’s always a bit bohemian, but this morning she looks like she slept in her clothes.
She’s brought Maya flowers and some kind of tea and hurries away in only a couple of minutes, looking ravaged and a little broken.
“Is she okay?” I ask as Maya comes back in the room.
“I don’t know. She didn’t look particularly good, did she?”
I shake my head, looking the direction she went. “No.”
“She’s trying to keep it together for everybody else, but probably out of all of us, she’s the one who will miss him the most.” She looks at me. “No offense.”
“Yeah.” I carry my dishes to the sink and rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher. “I’m going to work in my room for the day if that’s okay.”
“You don’t have to go up there. Take my dad’s office. It’s a lot more comfortable. I have to go to the doctor in a little bit, so I won’t be around to bother you.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
I shower in the main bathroom on the second floor, which I’ve never used. It boasts handmade tiles, and from the shower, a person can look through a window out over the Pacific, which feels deliciously decadent.