There's Something About Sweetie(90)

He pulled off the side of the road and texted her.

Will you come talk to me? At that playground on the corner of McAdam and Harper

It showed as read almost immediately. One minute. Two minutes. Three. Four. Ashish was starting to think that she was ignoring him when the response came back.

Sweetie: Nothing to say

Please

Why?

Because I love you an idiotic amount, he wanted to say. Because I can’t imagine waking up tomorrow with you still thinking the worst of me. Because I can’t lose you over something as stupid and small as this misunderstanding.

Because it’s you and me, he typed instead. Please

Three minutes later: Ok. When?

His heart leaped. 20 minutes

He started the car again and pulled back onto the road, his entire body clenched with an almost painful, crushing hope.





CHAPTER 30





His headlights picked her up as soon as he pulled into the parking lot. She was sitting on the bottom rung of the jungle gym. He felt a pinprick of hope at the realization that the rung was wide enough that he could squeeze in beside her. She’d left room for him still. That had to count for something, right?

He turned off the car and walked over to her, his footsteps soft and silent on the rubbery stuff they used on kids’ playgrounds. Maybe it was rubber. Whatever. No time for that now. “Hey.” He stood beside her, not wanting to sit and invade her space until she’d told him it was okay.

She looked up at him. Her hair was wet, like she’d just taken a shower, and she wore sweatpants and a big sweatshirt. Her eyes were puffy, like she’d been crying, and Ashish’s heart broke at just how beautiful she was. He couldn’t wait to set things right. He would set things right. Sweetie would never cry because of him again.

“Hi,” she said softly. She scooted over a bit.

Taking the invitation, Ashish sat next to her. He could feel her body heat; he could smell her sweet peppermint shampoo. He wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms, to kiss that velvety mouth, that irresistible dimple, that soft throat. But he held back with everything in him. “Thank you for meeting me. I know it’s late and you probably don’t want to even look at me.”

She shrugged.

“Sweetie … remember when I said I couldn’t give myself to you all the way because—”

“Because of Celia.” Her voice broke a little on Celia’s name, and Ashish wanted so badly to blurt out the truth, how things really were. But he had to take it slow. “Yeah. I remember.”

She got up and walked off to the tire swings. She sat on one and began to gently swing. Ashish followed her and sat on the one next to hers.

“You don’t have to remind me,” Sweetie said softly, her words twining with the creaking of the chains. “I know you didn’t make any promises. But then you said you really liked me. And you went to all that trouble to ask me to prom. I thought …” She swallowed, and when she spoke, her voice was all choked up, shattering whatever was left of Ashish’s heart. “I thought that changed things. That you were, um, falling for me.”

He took a breath. “Things were changing. I was falling for you. Actually? I’ve already fallen.”

She looked up at him sharply, her features shadowed in the dim light from the streetlight a few yards away. “But then … then why were you talking to Celia at all?”

Ashish kicked the dirt, the entire swing juddering at the impact. “I won’t lie. When Celia first texted me, right after you and I went on our second date, I couldn’t help but talk to her again. She’d broken my heart, and … and I guess in some way that meant she still had power over me. She sounded so down, so lonely, that she got to me. There was history there, you know? But then, as you and I got to know each other better, I realized something. Celia was someone I used to love. Past tense. And that would never change. She’s made some mistakes, but I think she’s a good person, and … and that’s it.

“I couldn’t stop talking to her because there was a part of me that felt like I owed her that. She sounded like she didn’t have anyone else to talk to. She seemed really fragile. But also the bigger reason was that … I just really needed to see her one last time to put this whole chapter of my life behind me. I was desperate for closure, Sweetie, and the only way I felt I could get that was to see Celia face-to-face, to tell her it was over to her face. So when she asked to meet, I said yes. Once we did, I told her right away that I wasn’t interested. That I only had eyes for you.” He waited, watching her expression, seeing how she was taking it. “And seeing Oliver and Elijah and everything that happened with them … I began to realize that it was completely stupid to turn my face away from true love. So what if it was unexpected? So what if you and I make absolutely no sense on paper? So what if I’m doomed to be unhappy because I suck at relationships and I’ll probably mess this up along the way? Like I’m already messing it up? For now it works. It’s right. And I know now I’m damn lucky to have you. For as long as you’ll have me. I’m done being afraid.”

She shook her head and looked down at her feet. “But why didn’t you just tell me all this before?”

Ashish swallowed. “I thought that it would be better if I could tell you once everything was wrapped up. I could just say, ‘Hey, this thing with Celia is completely behind me now.’ I’d have closure, and it’d be completely honest. I already knew I didn’t have feelings for her, but she still had this … this hold on me, you know? Like the ghost of our relationship was always there when I was with you, and I thought once I just met up with her and got everything out in the open, that ghost would finally dissipate. Plus, I didn’t want you to see me as this … this weak dude who couldn’t deal with his ex. But I realize now that it was stupid of me. Of course you’d want to know if I was talking to her. My brother Rishi’s this super-selfless dude, you know? He’s always putting everyone else before himself. He’s happy doing that, and people love him for that. But me? I’m the opposite. I’ve always just thought of myself. When I thought about others, it was about them in relation to me. It doesn’t come easily to me to think of others. I never really cared about it before—I just thought that’s the way I was. Ash, the selfish player who doesn’t even want to acknowledge the Indian part of his identity.