There's Something About Sweetie(63)

“Hey, Samir,” Ashish said. Samir was sitting in a beanbag, tossing a ball at the wall and then catching it on the rebound. He turned to look at them and nodded before going back to his ball. “Dude, what’s going on?”

Samir didn’t bother looking at him this time. “What do you mean?”

“Your mom called me, man. She’s really worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” Samir said in a tone that suggested he’d said it many, many times these past few days. “So you didn’t need to come over here with a pity party cake, okay?”

Pinky pushed a bundle of old clothes off his bed and sat. “We don’t pity you, dude,” she said. “But you’re not acting like yourself and we’re worried. That’s all.”

Samir smiled mirthlessly and looked over at her. “Really? But I thought no one liked me. So shouldn’t you guys be doing a little victory dance?”

Ashish stepped in. “Look, man. I think we need to talk about that. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. The thing is, you have been a good friend at times. You’ve just … It’s hard to realize that when there are so many times you’ve made fun of us or been—”

“A craphead,” Pinky put in. Samir glared at her, but she went on. “Come on. You can’t deny it. You’ve been really annoying and smug and holier-than-thou, and you just don’t know when to let things go. Like, you drive them into the ground until no one but you is laughing and you still—”

“Uh, Pinky?” Ashish said, forcing a smile. “What are you doing?” He tried to keep his tone light, but he seriously wanted to throw a pillow at her face. She’d completely lost sight of the mission.

“Yeah,” Samir said, narrowing his eyes. “What exactly are you doing?”

Pinky held up her hands. “I wasn’t done. In spite of all those things, you have been a good friend. Like when you stood up for me with that assassin bug thing. Or when you stood in line for Bruins tickets for, like, two hours because they were all sold out online and Ashish was playing at an away game and couldn’t get them himself. And I know Oliver really loves how you remember their freaking anniversary and none of the rest of us do.” She paused. “Although I guess you won’t need to do that anymore. Anyway, my point is, we do appreciate the things you do. And we’re sorry for forgetting them because we got mad at you.”

“She’s right, man,” Ashish added. “And the thing is, your advice about getting my parents to set me up with someone? It worked. Sweetie’s really cool. I don’t think I thanked you for that, but I appreciate it.”

Samir was silent for a moment as he looked from Pinky to Ashish. Ashish held still, letting him process or whatever he was doing. Finally he sighed and tossed the ball onto the floor. He turned so his body was facing them completely. “It’s not just you guys. I have been a jerk. I mean, that thing with your hair, Pinky. I should’ve let it go when I saw that it was bothering you. And I didn’t need to go on and on about you and Celia to the girl you were dating, Ashish.” Another sigh. “The thing is, I act like a complete arsehole because … because I’m jealous. And that makes me defensive.”

“Jealous of what?” Ashish asked, taking a seat on the blue mesh chair at Samir’s desk.

“You guys are all so close. You go to school together. I left in fifth grade, and ever since then, things have been different. I’m just not a part of things anymore—how could I be? So I tried harder to fit in. I tried to be … more like you, actually, Ash. Cockier, more confident. I wanted to project this aura of, like, untouchability to cover the fact that I am, in fact, a totally overprotected homeschooled loser.” He looked away and swiped at his jaw. “Whatever. It didn’t work, and when I saw how much it wasn’t working, I just …” He shook his head and was silent for a long moment. Ashish waited. He saw Pinky, sitting completely still in his peripheral vision. “I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like I have these endless days and nights stretching out in front of me and it all feels so pointless and stupid. You guys were a great distraction.” He smiled. “But I get that you don’t want me to hang out with you anymore. It’s fine; I’m not trying to weasel back in there or anything. I guess I’m just trying to figure out what’s next, and right now that just looks like a big black hole.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Ashish said. “Firstly, I want you to come back and hang with us again. I mean, none of that defensive douchebag stuff, but just … yourself. The real Samir who peeks out sometimes. I think it’s safe to say we all like him way better than the Ashish-clonebot.” He raised his eyebrows at Pinky, who nodded enthusiastically. Samir managed a weak laugh. “And secondly, dude, you should talk to your mom about how you feel. Seriously.”

“I don’t—I can’t.” Samir rubbed his face and then shook his head. “She’s … The cancer could return anytime. And it was so sudden before. She’s scared. She says she isn’t, she puts on this brave face, but I know her. Her mom, my nani, died of breast cancer. If I go back to school and she gets sick again …”

“You could go back to school and she could get sick again,” Pinky said quietly. “But you could go back to school and she could be fine. She could get sick if you’re homeschooled, or she could be fine. The thing is, we can’t control what happens. No matter how much we want to, or how much we try to bargain with the fates or the universe or whatever … sometimes crap happens.” She paused. “One thing I do know? I saw how upset your mom looked downstairs. What she wants more than anything is for you to be happy. And she knows you’re not. So who are you doing this for?”