The Wedding Party (The Wedding Date, #3)(93)

“You don’t have to say that, just because you said it before.”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“What are you talking about? When did I say it before?”

Was he going to pretend he didn’t remember now?

“In the middle of the night. I was up, watching you, and you woke up and reached for me, and then you told me you loved me.” She wasn’t going to say what she’d said back, though. “It’s okay. You were half asleep, you had a concussion, you didn’t know what you were saying.”

He stepped toward her again and took a deep breath.

“All of that is true. But I’m wide-awake and mostly recovered now. Maddie, I love you.”

“Are you sure you didn’t remember? Are you sure you’re not just saying that?” Now she wished the lighting in the closet was better so she could see his face clearly.

He laughed.

“No, I don’t remember, and no, I’m not just saying that. I know it for sure. I’ve thought of nothing else for the past three weeks, I promise you.”

She laughed, too.

“I’m sorry, it’s just . . . you said it that night, and then . . . well, that’s why I was so on edge the next day. I didn’t know if you meant it. And I didn’t know what to do with all those”—she waved her hands in the air—“feelings.”

He took a deep breath.

“Well, I didn’t remember, but it’s true. I love you. I’ve known since . . . Oh God, I guess I really realized it earlier that day, when you showed up at the rally, and I was so happy to see you, but I think I’ve loved you since that night I locked myself out and I showed up at your house, all angry and frustrated, and I felt better, just seeing you.” He looked down. “ But—”

She jumped in before he could say anything else.

“I love you, too.” His head shot up, and he stared at her as she continued. “I said it back that night, when you told me you loved me. And at first I wanted to take it back, because I didn’t know that’s how I felt, and I didn’t think I felt that way, and I hoped you wouldn’t remember. And then I was furious that you didn’t remember.”

He reached for her hand.

“Are you sure? Wait, scratch that; I’m not letting you go back on that. I’m holding you to it.”

She finally let her tears fall as she laughed.

“I’m sure. I really am. Also, I’m sorry about the secret thing and how that made you feel. I swear, the reason I wanted it to stay a secret wasn’t what I said that day. It was just . . . everything was so great, you know? We had such a good time together, hiding out in your apartment or at my house, eating takeout and watching TV and talking, or reading, or just being silent. And you seemed to like doing that with me, and you seemed to like me, just as I was, even after all the stuff that happened about that job. I’ve never been that comfortable with someone I was dating. I’ve never been able to relax. I’ve always felt like I had to put on a show about who I was and look and be perfect all the time. But with you, it was different. So it felt like if we weren’t a secret anymore, it would ruin everything.”

Theo reached for her other hand.

“Oh, Maddie.”

She shook her head.

“No, let me finish. But then when I saw Alexa and Drew, and how happy they are together, it made me feel like I’d given up something that could give me that same kind of happiness. I felt like I’d finally been with someone who knew me and liked me and believed in me just the way I was, and I’d lost that. But I didn’t know how to get it back.”

Theo looked straight at her.

“I promise you, I like you just the way you are. I love you, just the way you are, your hot head and tender heart and messy house and all. I’m sorry I ever made you think otherwise.”

She took a deep breath and smiled at him.

“I’m sorry, too. I love you, just the way you are, your garlic breath and great hugs and spreadsheets and all.”

He wrapped her up in one of those great hugs, and she let herself cry on his chest. She was back in the circle of his arms. She’d missed this so much.

“Oh.” She looked up at him. “I didn’t get the job. But my mom and I already have a plan for the kind of pro bono work I can do. Want to hear all about it?”

He grinned.

“I’d love to.”

She took advantage of their proximity to reach into his pocket.

“I need to see that letter.”

He tried to snatch it back from her, but she turned around.

“Oh God, it’s so embarrassing. I can’t believe I . . .”

She ignored him and unfolded it as he tickled her.

“Tell me the truth, did you make a spreadsheet before you wrote this?”

He threw his hands in the air.

“Just to organize my thoughts!”

She laughed out loud. Then she started to read the letter.

Maddie—

You probably

This is going to be long but

I keep starting letters to you but they’re all

I love you.

I was trying to come up with a way to ease into this letter, but everything was all too long and complicated and detailed (sound familiar?). So I decided to just cut to the chase for once in my life and start with the most important thing. Oh wait, here’s the other really important thing.