The Visitors(75)

She’d known something wasn’t right that night, felt it in her bones, but she’d ignored her gut feeling.

Standing here in Cora Barrett’s house ten years on, she still couldn’t trust herself to decide whether or not someone was watching her every move.

All she could do was try and be vigilant without becoming paranoid. Not an easy balance to strike with the growing sense of panic that seemed to be rising from her core.

Maybe it was time to do something about it, to put her plans into action.

Maybe it was time for her to finally take control.





Chapter Fifty-Nine





Holly





After her shower, Holly tried to steel herself for the day at work that lay ahead.

But first, she sat at the dressing table, stared into the mirror and waited for the little girl to come.

She could feel her stirring from her place of slumber, restless with her eternal nightmares. It took a while, but then there she was, staring back at Holly.

Holly lifted a hand and gently traced her smooth, creamy skin.

‘You’re beautiful,’ she told her. ‘They told you the opposite, but you are, you know. You are beautiful.’

A warm glow broke through the cold, empty feeling in her chest. Just briefly, but it helped.

‘You made it through. You’re strong, clever and kind.’ Holly caressed the child’s dark wavy hair. The hair she had hated, that they had cut short because it was wild. ‘You’re safe now. They can’t ever hurt you again.’

The warm feeling returned, flooding Holly’s chest and remaining there for a second or two longer. She breathed in and out, long spaces that let the relief expand within her.

The tiny flame within that they had tried to stifle, to snuff out… she felt it flickering, growing in strength, deep in her core. They hadn’t tried to kill her; it was worse than that.

Over the years, they had tried to dim her glow, to silence her, to make her disappear. Nobody had really wanted her.

Yet despite the cruel words, the rejection, the loss, that little flame survived and burned bright still.

From the mirror, the little girl smiled at Holly.

It felt like the noose around her slender neck had finally loosened. The rope was still there; it probably always would be. But at least she controlled it now.

Nobody else could pull it tight again, and because of that, the fear would slowly begin to dissipate.

No more strange men in the house, brought back by her mother. No more waking to a dark shape above her in the middle of the night. No more lying awake until the early hours, listening for a creaking step or a light on the landing.

‘You’re perfect, little girl,’ Holly whispered, cupping her own chin gently and smiling into the glass. ‘You always were. Nothing they said or did can ever change that.’

The little girl cried. Holly allowed her glistening teardrops to fall unhindered onto the pale wood veneer of the dressing table.

Perhaps, she thought, this was what people felt when they cut themselves. A pure relief, a sense of creating space within.

The old ravine had opened again inside, and Holly felt herself slipping down into its comforting grip.

She wouldn’t let Geraldine ruin her life again.





Chapter Sixty





Holly





‘You’ve been quiet this morning,’ Josh remarked when he came over to her desk mid-morning. ‘Is everything OK?’

She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

‘Everything’s fine,’ she said in a thin voice. ‘I just didn’t sleep very well.’

‘Ah, I see. You’re living in… Wollaton, aren’t you?’

‘That’s right,’ she said, wondering how he knew.

‘I overheard you telling the other sales staff when you first started,’ he said, reading her mind. ‘It’s nice and quiet in that neck of the woods. Me and the wife would like to move there ready for us to start a family, hopefully in the next year or so, but we haven’t a hope in hell of paying those prices.’

How refreshing to hear him mention his wife. Holly couldn’t help wondering what sort of a life the poor woman had with him.

‘I’m just lodging… well, visiting there, I suppose.’ She hesitated. ‘Josh, have you seen anything of Emily since she resigned?’

If Josh knew where Holly lived, maybe Emily did too. Worse still, they might be in touch.

He frowned but showed no sign of discomfort. ‘Nope. Don’t really expect to see her again. Why?’

Holly had no intention of explaining to Josh that she thought Emily might have been outside the window watching her; it would make her sound totally paranoid. And now she knew about their affair, she could never trust him again.

‘I… I just wondered if she lived in the city… whether we’d see her around.’

‘She does live in the city, in an apartment near Weekday Cross, if I recall. Don’t think you’ll see her around this end of town again, though. Knowing Emily, she’ll have invented a whole new life for herself already.’

Weekday Cross was central, nowhere near Wollaton. If Emily had been lurking around at the bottom of Cora’s garden, it would be quite a way for her to come at such an unsociable hour.