The Virgin Gift(28)
Kate shrugged playfully. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
Lily laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re such a clandestine operative.”
“That’s me,” Kate added, then brought her finger to her lips. “All of Vegas’s deepest nighttime secrets are safe with me.”
“Unless we can ply them out of you with drinks this weekend,” I added playfully.
“Speaking of this weekend, I heard Brandon is coming to town and we’re all going out,” Lily remarked, flicking a strand of blonde hair off her shoulder. “Finn had lunch with Jake and Adam, and the plans came up.”
“And we also have Adam’s new deals to celebrate,” Kate added.
Lily snapped her gaze to Kate. “How did you know?”
I wanted to ask the same question, so I was glad Lily had pounced first.
“I heard it from Jake,” Kate said, looking away, my normally confident friend betraying the slightest bit of guilt. Did she have a secret thing going with Jake?
“You two have become awfully chatty.” Lily jumped on that nugget, a satisfied grin on her face as she brought her latte to her lips.
Kate stared at her pointedly. “You need to stop reading something into every little thing.”
Lily laughed. “But that’s what a good reporter does. Picks up on clues, and you’ve been dropping them for a long time. You and Jake just have this vibe between you.”
I cleared my throat. “It’s hardly a vibe. It’s more like a heatwave of sexual tension, so thick you could bottle it.” I whipped out my phone and showed them a shot I’d taken of Kate and Jake dancing at Lily’s recent wedding. The best man and the maid of honor. Even though he held her at arm’s length, and even though the shot wasn’t a close-up, it was impossible to miss the smolder in his eyes as he stared at the brunette beauty.
Kate waved a hand dismissively, taking a drink of her coffee. “I assure you there is nothing brewing between us. But speaking of brewing,” she said, turning to me, “how is it living with sexy, charming, better-than-the-boy-next-door Adam?”
Those damn butterflies had the audacity to sweep through me once more.
At the mere mention of Adam’s name.
Lily leaned forward and batted her lids, getting in on the fun. “Yes, do tell. I’m sure it’s sooo easy to spend your nights and mornings with that handsome man who treats you like a queen.”
My face heated. Why was I so transparent?
Maybe because Lily and Kate were right. Adam was all those things.
And so much more, as I’d learned last night.
Last night.
It had been less than twenty-four hours since he’d found my list, and already I’d experienced an inordinate amount of morning-after tingles and far too many chest flutters. This had to stop. I had to keep everything on the sex-and-only-sex level.
And the sex so far had been better than my wildest fantasies, and my fantasies were lawless.
“He’s great, and it’s fun,” I said in a cheery voice, squaring my shoulders.
Lily hummed, a doubtful sound. “And your eyes say otherwise.”
“What do they say?”
Kate shrugged, a grin on her face. “You tell us.”
And the thing was, I wanted to tell them. They were my best friends. They knew me. They understood my choices. They respected my decisions. They never pressured me to go after a guy or to try to shed my virginity with just anyone simply for the sake of losing it once and for all. All the guys I’d dated were not the right ones, and they never pushed me over cosmos or a girls’ night out to ditch my V card.
Now I was twenty-four. The risks my sister had faced and surmounted weren’t risks for me. I had a degree, a business, and a home I owned. That didn’t mean I wanted a baby, but the teenage-pregnancy specter was long gone. And I was religious with protection. Radically religious.
But that wasn’t what tonight would be about.
It wasn’t about the choices I’d made back when I was in high school. It was about the freedom to make a new round of choices as a grown woman.
I was in full control of my life.
And I wanted to be in full control of my sexuality.
To own it completely.
I was ready.
And I was ready for something else.
To tell my friends, as Adam had sensed I’d want to do. He was right. I wanted to share this huge step with my girls.
I downed some of my Earl Grey latte, then took a deep breath. “Have you heard of Ask Aphrodite?”
They shook their heads.
I took out my phone and clicked on the episode I’d listened to this morning, giving one AirPod to Lily and one to Kate.
A listener asked a seemingly simple question, but the more I mulled it over, the more I realized it wasn’t simple at all.
The question begins like this: “How do I know when I’m ready? Truly ready to try something new? I think about kinky things all the time. I wonder what it’ll feel like to explore naughtier shores. To try all sorts of risqué and daring acts. But what if I don’t like it when I do?”
This is an excellent question.
Life is full of what-ifs. You don’t know if you’re going to like a massage before you go, and maybe you like a certain masseuse but not another. Perhaps you try a new restaurant that has rave reviews, and it falls short. Or the opposite occurs.