The Vibrant Years(69)

But this was her home. Our life is here, Ash. Why can’t you work on concerts here?

Because this isn’t my music. My music is in India.

I just got made reporter. I’ve worked for ten years to get here. I know I’ll get a segment soon. I know it.

You know that’s not true. They’ll never give that to you. It’s too late. You’re past forty. If they were going to give you a shot, it would have happened by now. Why can’t it be my time now?

I can’t.

And I can’t put my dreams away anymore. I need you to give back.

That’s how easily it had ended.

“I guess you’re right. Maybe we all need to stop struggling with our roles and let them go,” she said. Because if they didn’t let go, the deadlock would suffocate them.

The concession seemed to roll through him like relief. He smiled again. “Is that what that statue date was about, then?”

She felt her face heat. “Wow, really, you’re going to bring that up?” Mortification burned through her.

A laugh lit his eyes, but he didn’t let it out. “Come on! You had . . .” He made wiggly fingers at his crotch.

“I will kill you if you say it.” How had she let him goad her into wearing a naked bodysuit? With steel wool pubic hair sewn into it.

Aly hadn’t been able to sleep for two days after that because she kept jolting awake from the memory of someone grabbing her butt when she was supposed to be frozen in a sensuously athletic pose.

Remove yourself from movement. Separate yourself from your body and watch from without. George Joseph—a man Aly hoped never to lay eyes on again—had whispered those words with the kind of pseudo-Zen self-importance that should have made her run as soon as she heard it.

The butt grope had done it. She had removed her body from the entire bizarre situation and fled the scene she’d been subjected to only because of Ashish. Damn him.

Oh God, what if it got out? George Joseph had assured her that pictures were not allowed at the exhibit, but maybe she’d been naive to trust him. What if Joyce found out? Joyce took nothing more seriously than the public image of her anchors.

For a moment Aly was so distracted by the fact that her stupid date might cost her the shot she finally had that it took her a moment to process that Ashish was watching her as though he could see every thought passing through her head.

He let one spurt of laughter out. “You always said I pushed you to do things you ended up enjoying.”

She had not enjoyed Naked Art Guy.

He got serious again. “I was never trying to put you in bonds. I loved how fierce you were under all that Karen Menezes conditioning.”

A blast of pleasure warmed her. Then terror turned her cold. This was precisely the problem. That he knew exactly what to say to get to her. “You liked when I was fierce except when it was for something I wanted, not something you thought I should want.”

Again, he didn’t get defensive. “Aly, listen. I did that. I know. I’m not making excuses, but it’s all I ever saw. If you’d ever met my father, you’d understand.” Unfamiliar sadness flashed in his eyes. “You’re not the only one with conditioning. All I wanted was to not be like him, and I ended up . . .” He wiped a hand across his face as though it was that easy to wipe everything away. “Can we talk, please? Maybe after dinner. I have to tell you how these two years have been. I’ve . . . I’ve had the most amazing experiences. And I would never have found what I found if it weren’t for you.”

Wow. Was he really telling her how wonderful leaving her had been? And he was making excuses.

He paused, again, obviously seeing what she’d heard in his words. “If I hadn’t seen you fight for what you want, I . . . I would never have been able to do it.”

“Well, congratulations,” she said as they parked. “Bindu and Cullie are waiting.”

“Aly, I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m trying to say.”

“Of course I am. Don’t I always? But you know what, we no longer have to understand each other. We just have to be civil so Cullie and Ma can still have a family. Can we do that, please?”

“That we will always be.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded. “But we’re more than that. Can we talk, please? One dinner. I’ll cook.”

She waited for him to say something about how she owed him that much. But he didn’t. And he was going to cook for her.

“I’m not going to help you or clean up or anything.”

He gave a lopsided grin. “You can even complain about how badly I cleaned up. Please.”

“Fine. Tomorrow.” But she didn’t add that it was a date. Because it wasn’t.



After dinner Ashish went back to Shady Palms with Bindu, and Cullie came home with Aly. They’d had enough wine at dinner, so they made themselves hot chocolate in their favorite mugs and took them to the couch.

Aly had been determined to have a good time despite Ashish’s presence, but when she’d ended up having a good time, it had been disconcerting. But it was still worth it, because Aly couldn’t remember the last time Cullie had looked like this. Light. Happy. She was staring at her phone with the widest grin on her face. This had happened all through the evening. It had been happening a lot lately.