The Unhoneymooners(68)

It’s especially uncomfortable because he’s still looking at me. Even though I’m not meeting his eyes, I can feel his focus on the side of my face. “I bet Ethan told you all kinds of stories.”

And oh. My mind is immediately buzzing. Is he talking about what I think he’s talking about?

“About himself?” I deflect.

“About all of us, the whole fam.”

Dane and Ethan’s parents are two of the most milquetoast people I’ve ever met in my life—the epitome of Minnesota nice, but also exceedingly dull—so I think both Dane and I know that Ethan wouldn’t share many adventures about the whole fam. Is it my eternal skeptical filter here that’s making me think he’s talking about the brother trips being Dane’s ideas and, of course, all of his pre-engagement girlfriends?

I look at him over the lip of my martini glass. I am so conflicted. I told Ethan—and myself—that I would let this one go. That Ami is a smart woman and knows what she’s getting into. That I am always the buzzkill pessimist.

Dane gets one last freebie, and that’s it.

“We all have stories, Dane,” I tell him evenly. “You and Ethan have yours. Ami and I have ours. We all have them.”

He pops a couple of peanuts into his mouth and grins at me as he chews, mouth open, like he’s just outsmarted me. As irritating as he’s being, I can tell he’s genuinely relieved. If it were anyone else smiling at me like this, I’d feel honored to be so clearly welcomed into the inner circle with just a shift in an expression. But with Dane, it makes me feel slimy, like I’m not supporting my sister by supporting her husband, like I’m betraying her.

“So you like my big brother, huh?” he asks.

The husky quiet of his voice makes me uneasy. “He’s all right, I guess,” I joke.

“He’s pretty great,” he says, and then adds, “even if he isn’t me.”

“I mean,” I say, forcing a dorky grin, “who is? Am I right?”

Dane thanks the bartender when she delivers the fresh beer and then takes a foamy sip, still studying me. “You ever want to mix it up, you let me know.”

My eyes fly to his face, and I feel the way the blood leaves my complexion in a whoosh. There is no way I’m misinterpreting his meaning. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Just a night of fun,” he says, breezily, like he hasn’t just offered to cheat on his wife with her twin sister.

I tap my chin with a finger, feeling my neck heat, my face flush. It’s a struggle to keep my voice even. “You know, I think I’ll take an emphatic pass on sleeping with my brother-in-law.”

He shrugs like it makes no difference to him—and silently confirming that his vague words meant exactly what I thought they meant—but then his eyes are caught on something over my shoulder. I assume Ethan is walking back, because Dane smiles, tilting his chin. “Yeah,” he says as Ethan approaches, “I guess he’s all right.”

I gape at how casually he returns to our earlier conversation.

“Were you two talking about me?” Ethan asks, lowering onto the stool beside me and pressing his smile to my cheek.

“We were,” Dane says. I look at him. There’s not even a warning in his expression, not even any fear that I’ll say something to Ethan about what just happened. By telling him that we all have stories, by implying that I’m not going to press into his past, have I indicated that I’m okay being eternally complicit somehow?

Dane peeks down at his phone when it vibrates on the bar top next to him. “Oh, Ami is running about an hour late.”

I stand, abruptly, robotically. “You know, that’s okay. I’m not the best company tonight. Rain check, guys?”

Dane nods easily, but Ethan looks concerned, reaching out with a hand to stop me. “Hey, hey. You okay?”

“Yeah.” I run a shaking hand through my hair, looking past him. I feel jittery and gross and somehow like I’ve done something unfaithful—to Ethan and my sister. I need to get away from Dane and get some air. “I think I just want to go home and wallow for a bit. You know me.”

He nods like he does know and releases me with a sympathetic smile.

But I suddenly feel like I don’t know anything. I am thunderstruck.

That’s not entirely true. I know some things. For example, I know I lost my job today. And I know that my sister’s husband cheated on her before and is apparently happy to cheat on her again. With her twin. I need to get some clarity and figure out how the hell I’m going to tell Ami about all of this.





chapter sixteen

I’m halfway to my car when I hear Ethan’s voice calling out to me across the parking lot. Turning, I watch as he carefully makes his way through the slush and the ice and comes to a stop in front of me.

He didn’t bother to put on his coat before following me outside and shivers against the cold. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m not great, honestly, but I’ll be fine.” I think.

“Do you want me to come back to your place with you?”

“No.” I wince, hoping he knows this came out more abruptly than I intended. Attempting to tamp down my anger, I take a deep breath and give him a very wobbly smile; this isn’t his fault. I need to talk to Ami. I need to think and make some sense of how Dane had the balls to say something like that to me with his brother just feet away. I need to figure out what the hell I’m going to do for a job, immediately. I scrape the toe of my boot against a patch of ice. “I think I just need to go home and freak out a little on my own.”