The Tiger at Midnight (The Tiger at Midnight Trilogy #1)(98)

Esha steered their conversation away as soon as she could, and Kunal didn’t resist, having developed a far-off look in his eyes.

They reached the edge of a small pond and watered their horses. Esha reached down to fill her small flask, splashing water across her face and neck.

The air was cooler as they approached the coast, a sea breeze mixing in. Kunal had turned away, filling his own water, and Esha took advantage of his distraction to sneak a look at him.

Burn his face into her memory.

They stopped in the road, a grassy patch of trees leading off into the jungle on the right. The ruins of an old, abandoned temple to the Earth Mother, evidenced by the fire trenches and broken statues, spread out over the jungle here, intertwining with the undergrowth.

With a wave of her hand, she motioned him to follow her, and they moved farther into the jungle until they were surrounded by a green canopy, the ruins just behind them.

He regarded her warily and moved toward her, his hand on his sword that hung off his belt.

“What is it? Did you spot raiders?” he asked, his voice low.

“No, no raiders.” Esha tugged on his horse’s reins, his mare neighing softly at the tug, and held them out to Kunal, who gave her a questioning look.

She grabbed the collar of his cloak and pulled him close, shoving the reins into his hands.

“Go. Go home. I won’t keep you here.”

His heart froze in his chest and he couldn’t speak, confusion and joy warring in his body as her words resounded in his head.

Was she really giving him the chance to go home?

As if answering his unspoken question, she said, “You were never supposed to be captured and, well, you already know too much. Harun would never let you leave without a fuss, so I’m giving you the choice now.”

Kunal began to shake his head but she pushed the reins back into his hand, almost toppling him. He looked up sharply and saw the seriousness in her face.

This was no joke. It seemed a stroke of luck, not having to plan the escape that was but pieces in his mind.

He would return in disgrace, but it would be his life. One where he had control, one he knew. And he could work his way back to respect.

He barely thought before he took the reins in his own hands, feeling the hard leather cut into his palms.

“What about the meeting?”

“Does it matter?”

“Won’t they know?” he asked.

She shrugged, her shoulders dropping. “I’ll tell the team you knocked me out and escaped. Or I’ll tell them you tried to run and I buried a knife in your ribs. I’ll figure it out and I’ll make it good. You can rely on that.”

She wouldn’t look at him anymore, averting his eyes.

His former life beckoned. He tried to fight back the guilt and sadness he felt at the thought of turning away from her.

If only they had met at another time, in another life.

The Fort was his home, had been his life for ten years. It would be wrong to give that up so quickly for a girl he barely knew. Right?

“And what about . . . you?”

He wanted to say us but found himself unable to. Her face remained impassive.

“I’ll be fine, as I’ve always been. I’ve got my team—and Harun will think it was another one of my Viper escapades gone wrong.”

Harun. He felt the walls around his heart shooting up.

She had the team and Harun. The prince.

Kunal didn’t have the strength to fight back at the jealousy inching into his heart. He remembered their kiss, their conversations, the day at the market, and so many more moments. Deep inside, he knew they had a connection.

But why would she hand him the reins if she wanted him to stay?

Why give him the choice when he was already here? He was a prisoner to her in more ways than one, and she was telling him to go.

The wave of stubbornness hit him hard, in the soft part of his heart where pride and fear mingled together.

This wasn’t his life, these weren’t his beliefs, his desires. These were hers, and no matter how much he wanted a chance to be with her, becoming a rebel?

Kunal choked on the thought. Impossible.

He would never see her again. Kunal pushed that thought down, along with all the soft, happy moments she had given him over the past moons. Getting to know her and seeing her and tasting her.

He pushed it all down with expert soldier training, ignoring it all to focus in on one image.

Home.

His old life. What did he want?

The next few moments would determine his future.

She saw him open his mouth but she barreled on.

“Don’t tell them you know the Viper when you get back. Forget my face.” Esha bit her lip, swallowing hard as she steeled her mind. “They’ll use it against you,” she explained. “I didn’t release you just to see you killed. Say you were tricked and thought you had found me but had been misled. Lose your pride but don’t lose your life—or the future you want.”

His lips had flattened into a thin line.

“Why?” he asked, the single-word question hiding its depths.

She stared back at him, wondering if her gaze revealed what she had been trying to hold herself back from saying.

Don’t go, don’t leave. Stay. With me.

She wouldn’t say those words or the many others at the back of her throat. That she cared, that he had brought back light to her past, that for some reason his presence made her heart beat faster and brought a genuine smile to her face.