The Tiger at Midnight (The Tiger at Midnight Trilogy #1)(62)

Esha shook her head.

“That’s not enough. Why? That cursed debt you claim can’t possibly be worth more to you than the chance of such power as commander. I would think if you returned with my head it would be an automatic promotion.” The grim line of Kunal’s mouth was all the answer she needed. She hadn’t known for sure before, but his silence confirmed it.

“What about those other soldiers?”

Kunal shifted uneasily. He had forgotten he had told her that, hadn’t he? He ran a hand through his hair, rubbing the area between his ear and jaw.

“Esha—I can protect—”

“Stop.” Her voice became hard. “Don’t forget who I am. I don’t need your protection.”

He exhaled from his nose. “Yes, maybe you don’t need my protection as the Viper, but as Esha—you nearly got caught there.”

“My mistake.” She shrugged. “I would’ve cleaned it up if you hadn’t gotten in the way.”

He barked a laugh. “Gods above, you are determined to be hard and unkind. I didn’t want to see you in prison or dead because, for some unknown reason, I do like you.”

Esha’s heart fluttered, threatening to stop, wanting to hear him go on as much as she didn’t.

“And it’s the worst decision I’ve possibly ever made in my life. To believe words that come out of those lips. When it’s clear you would toss me to the dogs the moment you could. Every word you speak could be a ploy.”

Esha blinked at him, doing a double take. The venom he had begun with had faded into an open, wounded look on his face that she was sure he didn’t realize he was wearing. Only a moon had passed and she was entangled with this person so deeply her words could hurt him.

She should have killed him that first night they spent together.

His potential was something she could see with every word, every kind action. She almost believed Kunal when he said he would change the soldiers and bring back honor to the Blood Fort as commander. She knew he would fight for it.

The innocence in her wanted him to do it. The woman in her knew it wouldn’t matter, that she could never stop until Vardaan and his regime of destruction was dismantled.

She spoke harshly because he was pure gold and she was tainted black. Her presence in his life would smudge the perfect edges of his goodness, strip his shine.

Wasn’t it painfully obvious with every quip and tease and flirting word that he was slowly burrowing into her soul?





Chapter 40


Kunal couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, in anticipation of her response—and in preparation to flee if necessary.

He couldn’t believe he had said those things, brought life to those thoughts. But there was something about her that had plagued him since that first night, a distant memory. Sure, they had reached an uneasy truce of sorts, but the past few minutes had reminded him he wasn’t dealing with just anyone.

She didn’t need him. But that was part of why he wanted her.

If he could borrow even a little of that strength, that fire in her eyes, he could be the person his mother had always told him he could be, who he wanted to be. Even now, he questioned his orders because of her words. He had discovered the truth about his uncle because of chasing her. He hadn’t questioned an order since his first moon at the Fort, when his opinions had been beaten out of him.

Esha reached out, cupping his jaw in her warm hand, and he held back a shudder at her touch.

She hesitated, as if unsure of her own words.

“I wouldn’t,” she said softly. “I wouldn’t leave notes to someone I wanted dead. I would just kill them. I don’t even know why I did it.”

She paused, shaking her head.

Silky words and silver promises—that’s what he’d get for believing Esha, but something about the contrast of her flippant tone and sorrowful eyes told him she meant it. She wouldn’t hurt him. But Kunal didn’t see how their truce would last.

“And you shouldn’t believe anything I say,” she said, her voice hardening. “Leave me here and go back.”

She was echoing everything he had already thought, but he shook his head.

“No. I can’t.”

“Kunal, go home. What do you expect to get here? I won’t come willingly back to the Fort. Are you going to keep chasing me for moons—years? Look how well that’s worked out for you so far.” She shook her head. “Best scenario, you get by the border guards after I cross and continue following me in Dharka. There is little love for bronze armor in Dharka. Many have been through much worse than I during the war. You’ll die before you find me.”

Kunal understood that—as he did pain and loss. The stories of the soldiers’ rampage after the usurpation of the throne hadn’t escaped a young Kunal, but he had ignored them, wanting to believe the path he had been put upon was a good one, an honorable one.

“What happened?” he asked, his words light and gentle, so as not to scare away this new Esha. The pain that flared across her large eyes almost stopped Kunal’s breath.

She moved her hand down to his lips, tracing her finger over them. She was so intent on it that he thought she would ignore his question.

“If you ever decide to stop chasing me, I’ll tell you. Until then, you’re still a soldier of the Pretender King and I’m still a rebel. Unless you’d think of joining the Blades,” she said wryly. “But I know better than to try to turn you, soldier. Even though you’d be a valuable ally with your knowledge and experience.”