The Things We Cannot Say(89)

“Listen, I’ll give him the soup.” Wade’s tone takes on an urgent, conciliatory tone as he apparently realizes that the tension that’s been simmering underneath much of this conversation is about to boil over. Even the tone of his voice frustrates me now, because he’s not conceding that I’m right—he just doesn’t want to get into a screaming match with me when I’m five thousand miles away. “I just didn’t notice that he was putting it there, okay? I just thought it would do him some good to try different foods—to get used to different textures so his diet wasn’t so restrictive. He’s not starving, anyway—not in two days, and he’s been eating loads of yogurt. I even got him eating the Go-Gurt with the new label—”

“You can’t just change his entire routine, Wade!” I interrupt him impatiently. “I’ve worked his entire life to get him to this point.”

“Alice,” Wade says. His voice is deadly quiet now. “I’m trying here, okay? We agreed that you’d go on this trip, and I’d handle things at home. We even agreed I’d do this my way. I made a mistake with the soup—I’ll fix it today.”

The rapid de-escalation is every bit as frustrating as the rapid escalation was, because I really want to make him understand how important it is that Eddie gets that soup, but just then, I notice Zofia walking around the corner. She’s looking at her own phone and doesn’t seem to be paying attention to me, but she surely heard at least part of that conversation, and I’m embarrassed. I puff out my cheeks as I exhale, then look away from the phone for a minute as my eyes fill with tears.

“I better go,” I say abruptly.

“You don’t want to talk to Eddie?” Wade frowns. I shake my head, and a tear spills over. I’m too upset to talk to Eddie, and I know Eddie would see through any facade I tried to put up. There’s no point upsetting the poor kid more.

“No. Zofia is back and we have things to do, I really—maybe I can call tonight.”

“Have a good day, Alice,” he says, but his jaw is still set tight.

“You too, Wade,” I echo. I missed him when he answered, but by the time I hang up the phone, I feel only relief to be saying goodbye. I’m impossibly frustrated, and it takes me quite a few minutes to realize that I cut my husband off as he tried to tell me something about the new label on the Go-Gurt.

And now that I really think about it, it sounded like he said something about Eddie eating from the tubes with the new labels—something I was 100 percent sure would never be possible.



CHAPTER 31

Alina


Tomasz and I were packing food into pails to take across to Saul and Eva when he suddenly stopped and looked at me.

“Maybe Saul and Eva could come here, instead of us taking the food to them. That way they could have it all.”

“Will Jan let us get them out?” I asked, uncertainly. Tomasz grimaced and shook his head.

“No, he’d be furious if we woke him.”

“Well, they won’t fit through the latch?”

“Tikva will be easy. And maybe we can very quietly pull away just a few more of the boards on the wall around the latch. We wouldn’t need much more space to be able to pull Saul and Eva through too. Jan wouldn’t be happy, but if we’re careful enough not to wake him, he won’t find it until morning and we’ll all be long gone by the time he even knows. I know it’s only a short-term fix, but it would be so much more comfortable for them here, even if it’s just for a few nights.” He paused, then he nodded, apparently having made up his mind. “Alina, I think I can make this work.”

“My parents won’t mind,” I said unthinkingly. Tomasz looked at me sadly, and I cleared my throat. “I mean, if they manage to come home...”

We decided to at least try—we still had some time to spare, and so we left to make that fraught trek through the fields to the back of the house next door. When we were close, Tomasz pressed his fingers to his lips, just as he’d done the previous night. He bent to check for the rock, then Tomasz stood, frowning. He gave me a hand signal to wait here, and then he inched around the corner and along the wall toward the front of the house. I remained at the back corner, but I stretched my head out from the corner so I could watch him.

When he reached the front corner of the house, his shoulders slumped. As he turned to round that next corner, I caught a glimpse of his face in the moonlight and the pain in his expression was so vivid that it took my breath away. Tomasz was no longer trying to hide—instead, he stepped away from the wall, his hand outstretched as if he was reaching for someone.

I knew he’d told me to wait where I was, but I couldn’t—not having seen the expression on his face. I repeated that same journey he had just made, with careful footsteps along the wall of the house.

“No, Tomasz.” The hoarse words were carried on the otherwise-silent night air. “You can’t be here. They asked about you. What if they came back for you?”

“If you think I am leaving you alone to deal with this,” Tomasz choked in return, “you are sadly mistaken, my brother.”

I wanted to stay at the back of the house, but my legs seemed to have other ideas. They propelled me forward automatically after Tomasz, and when I reached the front corner of the house, I took a deep breath and forced myself to peer around it.