The Things We Cannot Say(110)

“The camp is full,” he said. “The Soviets say we only need 30,000 soldiers—we have over 70,000 people already. There’s nothing here for you. You will have to return to where you came from.”

“But we need to wait at this camp. We are meeting British soldiers here when they bring a shipment of uniforms. We can’t go back.”

Frankly, the suggestion that anyone return to that train was ludicrous—it was pointing people to their deaths, plain and simple. Aside from the exposure to disease, no one who was lucky enough to have food for the journey would have had enough to survive the return. The soldier shrugged at us and moved to walk on.

“No,” I said flatly, and I reached out to take hold of the soldier’s arm. “I mean it. We are meeting the British here—we will not go back.”

“Alina...” Saul said very quietly, and he touched my arm to console me.

“I have not come this far to be turned away now,” I whispered fiercely to Saul. “And neither have you.”

The soldier looked me up and down—the irritation in his gaze giving way to something I liked even less. The sudden flare of interest in his eyes reminded me of how sick I’d felt standing exposed in the strawberry patch that day, right at the start of the war. This time, though, the soldier leering at me was standing right beside me and my hand was on his arm. I dropped my hand hastily and stepped back toward Saul a little, as if he could protect me.

“I could perhaps be persuaded to make an exception for a lovely girl like you,” the soldier said, leaning down until his face was very close to mine, and I could smell coffee on his breath. I battled hard against the urge to show my revulsion or lean away, and I went weak at the knees with relief when he stood to his full height, until he added firmly, “But just for you. Not your boyfriend.”

“No!” I exclaimed, shaking my head frantically. “He has to come with me. He has to.” The line around us had all but dissolved—even those who were intending to stay and hope for the best had shuffled away from me—scared, no doubt, that the guard was about to shoot me. All that I knew was that my future lay beyond the camp. I had to get inside, and I had promised Tomasz so I had to take Saul with me. I started to beg. “He’s a doctor. I’m sure you could use doctors in the camp if it’s full, especially if the people inside are as sick as everyone here seems to be.”

“We have doctors,” he said, then he tilted his chin at me. “What else do you have, beautiful?”

“Food?”

“Try again.”

I was getting a pretty clear idea what the soldier might want from me, and it was making me physically ill—my empty stomach threatening to try to empty itself even more. We’d used most of our rubles by then, so all I really had to offer the soldier was some coins, and I’d figured out they weren’t actually worth very much. I had to think of something, because I wasn’t going anywhere but through those gates.

“I have some coins,” I offered, and I rummaged around in my pocket and withdrew what was left.

“Please,” he scoffed. “Don’t insult me. That’s crumbs.”

“Gold,” I said heavily. I sighed, then said it again. “I have gold.”

“Gold?” he said incredulously, and beside me, I saw Saul raise his eyebrows. I fumbled in the bottom of my coat for the lump, then raised the hem. The soldier continued to stare at me blankly, so I reached for his hand and held it against the lump. “See? It’s a ring. Solid gold. If you lend me your pocketknife, I’ll give it to you. Surely that’s enough to encourage you to let my friend come in with me.”

“Let me cut it,” the soldier said abruptly, and then the next thing I knew, he’d taken a knife from his pocket and had sliced the length of the seam. The ring fell out into my waiting hands, and I was trembling as I offered it to him. The soldier snatched it up into his hand and hid it quickly in his pocket. “Do you have Polish identity papers? No one gets in without them, you know. I can’t do anything about that.”

“We do,” I said. “Both of us.”

“Real ones?”

“Of course,” I said, as if he’d offended me. Then I held my breath, but it escaped as a hiccup when he turned to walk away from us.

“But—” I started to protest, and he gave me a pointed look and motioned with his head for us to follow him.

Saul and I scampered after him—all the way to the gates. The other guards let us in without so much as a second look, and then the soldier pointed toward a ragged tent.

“That’s where you register—get your papers ready. And if he’s really a doctor, make sure you tell them. They sure could use the help.” After he turned to walk away, the soldier glanced back at me and gave me a wink. “Hope I see you round.”

Saul slid his arm around my shoulders and turned me toward the registration tent.

“Alina,” he said quietly. “That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Tomasz told me to look after you,” I said stiffly, but what I was thinking was, One of these days saving people for Tomasz Slaski is going to get me killed.

“Where did you get the ring?”

“My mama,” I mumbled, and then it hit me what I’d done, and I had to blink hard to fight back the tears. “I had saved it. I was keeping it. For my wedding to Tomasz.”