The Temporary Wife: Luca and Valentina's Story(15)

No pink sticky note, yet again. I always hated them, but much to my surprise, I’ve come to miss them. She hasn’t given me one since I kissed her, and it’s surprising how bleak my world has become as a result of it. It’s odd how it’s the little things I miss the most.

I wish that were the only thing she’s refused to give me, but it isn’t. She’s also been withholding her smiles and the mockery I always convinced myself I despised. Valentina no longer calls me out on things the way she used to, and she’s become careful around me. She does her work without offering unsolicited opinions, and I miss her sharp wit.

“Tell me more about each of them,” I murmur, needing an excuse to keep her in my office, to hear her voice. We barely speak these days. More and more, she’s using the company’s instant messaging system instead of walking into my office the way she would have in the past, and when she does enter my office, it’s always brief.

“The document in front of you details everything you need to know,” she tells me, her voice clipped. It pains me to look at her. Having her standing so close and knowing I can’t touch her is the very definition of torment.

“My head hurts,” I lie. “Please summarize it for me.”

Why do I continue to torment her this way? I know better than anyone that this’ll only make her dislike me more, yet I can’t help myself. I want to keep her right here, where I can see her.

For a moment, I see annoyance flash through her eyes, and I pray she snaps at me and gives me the sass she used to. Dull disappointment washes over me when she nods and does as I ask, her voice as calm and professional as usual.

I never realized how much I’d come to love our partnership, because that’s exactly what it was. Valentina ceased being a mere employee years ago. If anything, she should have been my Chief Operating Officer, since that’s the exact role she performed, until recently.

“Stop,” I murmur. “Please, Valentina.”

Her eyes widen, and she looks caught off-guard. “Of course,” she says, nodding. She gestures toward the papers on my desk. “You can find the rest of the information right there.”

She steps back, and I shake my head. “No,” I tell her. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

For one single moment, the same loneliness I feel flashes through her eyes, and my heart starts to ache.

“I told you I’m sorry, Valentina. I’ll say it a thousand times if you want me to. What will it take for us to go back to the way we used to be?”

She looks away, her gaze unreadable. “I’m not sure what you mean,” she tells me, lying right to my face. “I believe I’ve been perfectly professional, and as far as I’m aware, I haven’t crossed any boundaries. Is there something you’re dissatisfied with? If you tell me what it is, I’ll improve it.”

My heart clenches painfully and I run a hand through my hair, my eyes falling closed. “You truly do drive me insane,” I whisper.

Her eyes flash with something that would’ve brought me to my knees if I wasn’t sitting. It was almost as though my words reminded her of that night. Pain. Lust. Longing. Loneliness. All of it blended together in those stunning hazel eyes of hers.

“We were a perfect team, Valentina. Are we really going to let one single night ruin that? How much longer will you treat me so coldly?”

She raises a trembling hand to her face and pushes her hair behind her ear. “I apologize,” she says, her voice soft. “It wasn’t my intention to treat you coldly, Luca. I was merely trying to act professional and abide by the boundaries you drew. I once forgot my place, and I don’t want to let that happen again. I got too comfortable, and it nearly cost me my job.” She pauses and crosses her arms, vulnerability filling those beautiful eyes of hers. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you, your family, or your network. I’m scared to do something that will make you misunderstand me, because the price for that is one I cannot pay. My family relies on me, Luca. I need this job, and I…”

Her eyes fall closed, torment taking over her expression. Fuck. Fuck. What have I done? She inhales shakily and forces a fake smile. It’s odd how even that now makes my heart race. It’s been months since she gave me one of those. I used to hate them, yet now I crave them. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I’ll try my best to change my behavior.”

I look away and breathe in deeply. “No,” I murmur. “Forget I said anything.” I brush my hand through my hair and sigh. “Valentina, I won’t fire you so easily. I know what I said, and I’d give the world to take it back. I swear to you that the only way you’ll lose your job is if you leave me no other choice. I’ll never fire you over something trivial. I shouldn’t have let anger dictate my words, and I truly do apologize.”

She nods at me, but it’s clear she doesn’t believe me. I lost the small amount of trust she’d given me.

It’s been months, and at first, I thought we’d recover from this with time, but it looks like I was wrong. For years, I pushed her away and told her to remember her place, yet now that she’s actually heeding my warnings, I wish she’d defy me the way she always has.

Valentina walks away, leaving me staring after her. I always thought I hated her, so why does it feel like I lost my best friend? I took her for granted and didn’t even realize it.