The Taste of Ginger(80)

Exhausted, we retreated to our room after half an hour of small talk with the family. As soon as I flicked on the dim yellow light overhead and closed the door to our small bedroom, Carrie turned to me.

“Now I know why you wanted to stay here!” she said.

“It’s not what you think.”

Carrie kicked off her house champals and sat on the bed. “When you told me your relatives freaked out because you were friends with a boy from a lower caste, you didn’t mention that you were friends in the Indian-mom sense.”

I dropped onto the mattress and folded my legs under me. “Nothing has happened. Really. Can you imagine? I’d be going from a guy like Alex who my parents didn’t approve of to someone all of my relatives wouldn’t approve of.”

“From where I’m sitting your parents have wanted nothing more than for you to marry an Indian guy, and it seems like there’s one who’s interested in you—who you actually like—so what’s the problem?”

“The damn caste system.” I shook my head. “Tushar’s family is from a lower working-level caste—farmers, animal herders, et cetera. People from his caste work for my family, not date them. It would be taboo. For both of us.”

“You don’t believe in any of that stuff. Or about doing what Indian society expects. You were living with a white guy a few months ago.”

“I know. I think it’s bullshit. People are people. But my relatives believe in that. And more importantly, so does Tushar. He’s never left India and doesn’t want to. He has to play by these rules. It’s not like someone’s going to pat him on the back because he was able to ‘date up.’ His family would be worried about jeopardizing their working relationship with my family and about their reputation in the community.” I sighed, the frustration clear in my own ears. “It’s too complicated.”

“Does it have to be?” she said simply.

I pondered her question. “If I were only thinking about myself, then no. But if I’m thinking about Tushar, his family, my family, et cetera, then yes. And here, I need to be. It’s a collectivist culture for a reason, and I can’t waltz in and spread my American individualist attitude around without thinking about the repercussions.”

“That’s an interesting way of thinking about it. Guess I’ve never had to think about anything other than an American individualist attitude, but I suppose I will add that to my growing list of things to reflect on.” She looked lost in thought before adding, “I’m really glad I came out here.”

“Me too. I couldn’t believe you did, though. This isn’t exactly your scene.”

“No, but when you suspect that your best friend has gone crazy, you make exceptions.”

I raised my eyebrow. “You know I’m fine, right?”

“I do now. Having seen you here for a few days, I’d even say you’re better than fine.”

“And what about you?” I said. “Are you also fine?”

She sighed. “I’m fine,” she said unconvincingly.

We sat in silence for a few moments. The light from the full moon shone through the small window overhead. It was propped open, so we could hear the Uttarayan celebrations continuing at the nearby homes. The sky still had kites swaying in the wind. Dogs barked wildly at the commotion.

Carrie broke the silence and said, “My dad had an affair.”

I whipped my head to face her. Carrie’s expression was somber. She clenched the bedsheets in her hand so tightly that her knuckles were white.

Mr. and Mrs. Bennett had served as surrogate parents to me during these past few years. I was convinced their marriage was everything my parents’ marriage wasn’t—happy, balanced, successful. If my mind was reeling from the news, I couldn’t imagine what Carrie was going through. Guilt instantly surged through me as I registered that I had been halfway around the world when my best friend discovered this and needed me most.

“When did you find out?”

“Three weeks ago. Merry Christmas to me!” she said sardonically.

“He told you?”

“No. My mother did.”

“I’m so sorry.” I cringed at the thought of Mrs. Bennett having to explain such a thing to her daughter. At least that was something I’d never have to worry about with my parents. They’d be way too worried about the karmic ramifications of such an act.

Carrie released the bedsheets and folded her arms across her chest. “She’s not leaving him. She’s not even going to tell him she knows.”

“Are you going to say something to your dad?”

“I don’t think I can. It’s my mom’s decision to make, right? I want to slap him, though. It was with the human resources lady at his company. Ugh, how cliché. Just like all the disgusting partners we know who are banging their assistants on the side.” She shook her head. “It was killing me to be there and pretend life was normal.”

I sat next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. She didn’t flinch when she felt someone touching her. That’s when I knew how much this was affecting her.

“I would have come back if I had known what was going on,” I said softly.

“Yeah, I know,” she said. “I didn’t want you to do that. And there was so much going on here with your family. Guess when it rains it pours.” She chuckled half-heartedly. “Getting away and out of my comfort zone was good. And this is very far outside of my comfort zone.”