The Summer We Fell (The Summer, #1)(29)

“Come on.” He places his hand at the small of my back, guiding me down the street to an unfamiliar car before opening the door. I fold myself inside in defeat.

He pulls off his sweatshirt and tosses it into my lap. “Put it on. You’re shivering.”

I do as I’m told, wondering just how bad this situation must be for Danny to send someone else after me. “Why are you here?”

He starts the car. “Danny was going to come after you and I convinced him to let me come instead so you wouldn’t feel like you’d been captured.”

I look out the window. “I’m not sure I see the difference.” He’s returning me to Danny as if I’m an escaped prisoner. He’s returning me and it doesn’t matter, does it? I’d have returned myself in any case.

“I’m not here to drag you back to him, Juliet. I’m just making sure you get to the hotel okay.”

“Why are you even bothering?”

He’s silent for a moment. “Anything that matters to Danny matters to me,” he finally says.

I don’t know why his answer hurts. Did I believe, for a moment, that he might have any other reason? I hate this piece of me that wanted there to be one.

We pull in front of the hotel, and I start to take off his sweatshirt, but he stops me.

“Keep it. I’ll watch to make sure you get in safely, but I’ve got to return this girl’s car.”

I try to laugh but make a choked sound instead. “God. I’ve never seen someone so desperate to get rid of another person.” My eyes well as I reach for the door.

He winces. “I’m not trying to get rid of you.”

I round on him. “Of course you are. It’s not even surprising.” Tears clog my throat but I no longer care. “Why do you hate me so much, Luke? What did I do?”

That muscle in his cheek contracts. His eyes squeeze shut, and when they open, they land on me in a way they never have before, as if I’m made of glass and a thousand times more valuable. He’s showing me, at last, something he’s hidden so well for months.

He swallows. “I don’t hate you.”

For a fraction of a second, the truth rests between us.

He doesn’t hate me. He has never hated me. And I’ve never hated him.

I grab the door handle, practically snapping it in my haste as I scramble out of the car. “Thank you…thanks…I, uh, I really appreciate you coming to get me.”

I think he says my name but the door is already shutting and that’s probably for the best. I’m scared he might say something he can’t take back, and I might too.

I go inside and shower, trying to rinse it all away. The incident with Danny, yes, but most of all the things I learned tonight: about Luke, and about myself. By the time I’m done and clad in pajamas, there’s a text from Danny saying he’s waiting outside my room and that he’ll stay there all night if he has to.

I open the door, and he pulls me against his chest. It’s easy, now, to throw myself into his arms and apologize, over and over. Because I am someone who thinks terrible things, and wants terrible things, and I could never, ever deserve Danny, not in a million years. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“No,” he says, “I’m sorry.”

I blink up at him. “What? Why would you be sorry?”

“Luke yelled at me after you left,” he admits. “He didn’t even know what happened, but he said I was an asshole for walking inside without you and that I treat you like you’re my kid sister. I don’t mean to, you know that, right? I’m just trying so hard not to be tempted by the wrong things.”

I nod. I do know. He wants me to be safe, and he wants us to do what he believes is the right thing. I just don’t happen to agree with him. I want Donna’s contentment with life, her innate goodness…I’m just not sure blindly adopting the pastor’s values is the only way to get it.

“You’re everything to me,” he whispers. “More than my parents, more than the entire town. I’d give up everything for you.”

I think of the time Luke said that one day Danny would lose me, and that the longer this went on, the more I’d fuck him up when it happened.

I made a decision when I was fifteen…to be with him, to become part of his family. It felt like a life raft. Now it feels like I might’ve been slowly drowning this whole time instead…and taking Danny with me.





13

NOW

L uke hangs the drywall without my help, which is probably for the best, and I am tasked with priming it. We’re not working together like Donna wants, but I don’t know why the hell Donna thinks that would matter anyway.

She’s asleep on the couch when we finish for the day. I can’t help but wonder if life is what made her sick. My losses have been minimal compared to hers, but even I often think it would be easier not to wake in the morning.

I go to the kitchen to figure out dinner. I find a package of thin-sliced steaks, the kind Donna used to batter and fry for Danny. I’m not sure if it was a favorite of his. It’s becoming harder and harder to remember the specifics. Only our last moments together are ironed into my brain, and they’re the ones I’d like to forget.

“What’s wrong?” Luke asks.