The Stranger in the Mirror(26)

Gabriel offered to grab a cab for us, but I insisted on walking. Now I’m sorry. I feel like I’m wilting from the humid air and the crush of people surrounding me. I hold the gift bag close to me. I enlarged my favorite photo of Hailey and me, taken at the beginning of the summer. We’re sitting beside each other, laughing, our shoulders touching, and there is a shimmering lake in the background. I’ve attached the photograph to one leaf of a velvet-covered binder, and on the other inside leaf is a letter I’ve written to her. It’s not something I made for display, but something for her alone. Something to let Hailey know that she is a sister to me, and that I love her.

It’s time to cross the street, and we wait for the signal to walk. Cars are whizzing by nonstop, and I wonder again at the sheer number of people in the city today. A woman’s annoyed voice gets my attention. She is trying to juggle her packages while holding on to her two young children’s hands. She bends over to pick up a dropped box, and at the same time the young boy’s balloon escapes from his grip.

“Come back!” she yells as he runs straight into the street and into the path of an oncoming car.

Before I can think, I dash out and grab him, pulling him into my arms as the car screeches to a stop just inches away from us. Horns blare, and all traffic comes to a halt as I run back to the sidewalk with the child. Gabriel’s face is white, and the mother, crying now, thanks me and clutches her son to her chest.

“You scared the hell out of me.” Gabriel’s voice is ragged. “But that was really brave. You saved that boy’s life.” He takes my hand and moves me out of the middle of the sidewalk. We lean against a building. “Take a minute to collect yourself,” he says.

I let out a large breath, realizing that my legs are shaking. “I saw him, and I just reacted. Thank God he’s okay.” As the words leave my lips, I wonder suddenly if I even believe in God. I think I do, actually. It seems right. But who knows what beliefs the old me held? That’s how I’m now thinking of myself. New me, old me. I’ve started keeping a journal as well. It helps me to organize my thoughts, but the other reason I keep it is one I don’t like to admit even to myself. It will serve as my memory if something happens again, and I am back at square one, my life a blank page.

“Addison, Addy . . .”

“What?”

“Where’d you go? You haven’t heard a word I said.”

“Sorry.”

“I don’t think we should keep walking. I’m going to hail a cab.”

I nod wordlessly, waiting where I am until he calls me over a few minutes later. We’re at the restaurant in less than ten minutes, but my heart is still racing.

Gabriel’s parents and Hailey are already seated when we arrive, and Gabriel tells them in a long rush what just transpired. Blythe is on her feet immediately. She folds me in her arms. “I’m so glad you weren’t hurt! How are you doing? Sit. Sit.”

Ted pulls out a chair, and I take it, still not quite feeling myself. They’re all asking questions at once, and I can’t focus. There’s a glass of water in front of me, and I reach for it thirstily but knock it over instead. I watch, horrified, as the water spreads across the table. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” I push back from my chair before any liquid reaches me.

The waiter is there in seconds and has the tablecloth changed while everyone stares at me. How could I be so stupid? I made a huge mess and ruined everything.

You’re so clumsy! says a voice in my head. You idiot! You can’t do anything right.





??22??

Addison




I can hear my heart hammering in my ears as Ed unfolds a piece of paper and puts it on the table in front of us. He returned from Florida this morning, and I’m afraid to hear what he has to say.

“What did you find out?” I ask him.

His lips pursed together, he shakes his head. “Not much, I’m sorry to say. I did find your guy Frank Margolis. I caught him outside his office building after work. He didn’t want to talk to me at first.”

“Was he hostile? Or afraid?” Gigi asks.

“No. None of that. I think people are just cautious, you know? Some stranger comes up to you asking questions, you feel threatened.”

I laugh. “I’m sure it doesn’t help that you’re six-four and look like you could take him in a fight.”

“Yeah, I figured that too.” He leans back in the chair and crosses one leg over his knee. “He was a little leery at first, but I think I convinced him that I wasn’t looking to make any trouble for him and that whatever he told me would be just between us. Anyway, we went to a bar down the street from his office, and he was pretty open with me.”

“But you made it sound like he wasn’t much help.”

“Well, that depends. I told him the truth. That I was trying to help a girl who has amnesia. I showed him your picture and said you’d run into him last week at the Tradewinds. He remembered you and said he hadn’t seen you in five or six years, since you were a dancer at a place called the Blue Mirror.”

“Did he remember my name?”

Ed shook his head again. “Said he never knew your real name, but the name you used at the club was Juniper. Does that ring a bell?”

My face is hot. I’m mortified for Ed and Gigi to discover this about me. “Juniper.” I turn the name over in my mouth. “No. It means nothing to me.”