The Stranger in the Mirror(17)

Blythe didn’t disagree, but she couldn’t voice those concerns to Darcy; it would be disloyal. No matter how much she cared for Darcy, Addison was going to be family.

“I’m not comfortable discussing Addison with you. She’s going to be my daughter-in-law, and she’s been nothing but lovely. I understand your concerns, but Gabriel has made a new life, and it’s time you do the same. If he’s the only thing holding you here . . .”

Darcy’s eyes filled, and she expelled a breath. “You’re right. I’ll take the position.”

“When do they want you to start?”

“Next month.”

“I think it’s a really exciting opportunity for you. But I’ll miss you,” Blythe said, and she meant it. But this would be better in the long run. Darcy would have constant reminders of her heartbreak if she stayed in Philadelphia. Their circle was too tight, and she’d be constantly faced with Gabriel and Addison at every social event. Blythe only wished that she were as optimistic about the marriage as she pretended to be. In truth, she wished that Addison were the one moving across the ocean.





??14??

Addison




“I don’t think your mom was very happy with the dress I chose,” I tell Gabriel, nestling in the crook of his arm as we lounge on his living room sofa.

“Really? She told me it was beautiful.”

I straighten up, turning to face him. “She said that?”

He gives me a funny look. “Yeah, she said that. Why do you look so surprised?”

“Gabriel, does your mom talk about me to you often?”

“You’re not still worried about that remark she made about your engagement ring, are you?”

I wave my hand. “No, no. It’s not that. I know you explained to her that I can’t wear it when my eczema flares up.”

He’s still stretched out and relaxed on the couch, but his brows draw together in a frown. “What do you mean, then?”

I twist a strand of hair around my finger. “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t like me.”

Gabriel stiffens and starts to say something, but I speak before he can. “Wait. I don’t mean it that way. Your mom is always nice to me. She’s never said or done anything that was unkind. But there’s this distance between us, and I don’t know if it’s me or what.”

“She’s as eager to be close to you as you are to her, I promise,” he says. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but she did ask me about the scars.”

I jump up and stand in front of him, feeling the heat rise in my neck. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to upset you. She’s just concerned, that’s all.”

Aside from Ed and Gigi, Gabriel is the only other person I’ve let see my scars. It was exhausting at first, having to always remember not to push my sleeves up, choosing shirts that would cover them. But I couldn’t figure out any way that we were going to be able to make love without him seeing them.

One night, I sat him down and told him I needed to talk to him.

His face clouded over. “Is something wrong?”

I shook my head. “I just need to share something with you. I’m nervous.”

“Have you remembered something?”

“Not exactly. But I think I tried to hurt myself . . . before.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

I pushed up my sleeve and showed him my arm.

He stared at me, saying nothing at first. “Addison . . . I’m so sorry.”

I tried to hold back the tears as I stood, backing away from him. “I don’t remember. But obviously I was damaged, or crazy, or something.”

He jumped up and pulled me to him, hugging me tight. “You’re not damaged or crazy. You don’t know how it happened. It might not have even been you.”

I looked at him in shock. “Of course it was me. Look.” I thrust out my arms again. “These are self-inflicted wounds. Something happened, and I didn’t want to live anymore. What could have been so horrible that I tried to kill myself?”

“I don’t know, Addy. Maybe that’s why you were on the road that day. Trying to get away from something. You’re a survivor. You didn’t die, and I’m going to keep you safe.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. Doesn’t this scare you?”

“Of course it does. And it infuriates me to think that somebody hurt you enough to make you want to take your life. But that’s over. You’re safe now. What scares me more is losing you. I love you, Addison.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I do.”

For the first time I felt someone saw me, the real me. If he could look past my scars, my blank spaces, all the things that terrified me, and still love me, then I loved him.

I look at him now, wondering if Blythe seeing the scars might have caused him to have new reservations.

“She must think I’m crazy. Be honest with me—I already have enough secrets in my life. She wishes we weren’t getting married, doesn’t she?”

He sits back down and pulls me with him. “Okay, okay. At first, she did caution me. Told me we were moving too fast. And she is concerned that you might one day remember a whole life, another family, that you’ll go back to. But I don’t care what anyone else thinks. It’s my life.”