The Storm Crow (The Storm Crow, #1)(58)

I didn’t even notice if people were clapping. Ericen’s bright-blue eyes stared down at me with a look of slight perplexity, as if he didn’t understand what he saw. Then they cleared, and he leaned close. I nearly pulled away, thinking he meant to kiss me, but he only lowered his lips to my ear.

“You look beautiful tonight.” His breath was warm on my neck, his voice a low rasp. Before I could respond, he’d drawn back and was already clasping hands with several Illucian nobles.

People swarmed me, pelting me with questions and comments. What did I think about the marriage? What an interesting dress I’d chosen. Did I love Ericen? I must be so grateful. What did this mean for Rhodairen and Illucian relations? I muttered quick responses or pretended not to hear them. I needed air.

The barrage of people didn’t slow. The responsibility of who I was demanded to be faced. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I might not be hiding under my covers anymore, but I still wasn’t Caliza.

A woman stepped in front of me, her skin the color of wet desert sand flecked with gold. She regarded me with keen eyes, a scar across one that had turned it a milky white.

“So Rhodaire has sided with Illucia?” she asked in a light Ambriellan accent.

“No.” I responded without thinking. Who knew who this woman was? She could work for Razel for all I knew. “We’ve entered into negotiations,” I clarified.

Her sharp eyes narrowed. “The type fit only for the Night Captain. The type done in the shadows and that slowly takes your soul.”

I frowned. “I don’t know what you mean. It was this or war. Who are you?”

She looked me up and down, and I felt myself straighten reflexively beneath her critical gaze. When she met my eyes again, there was no warmth in her face. “An ally. An enemy. Who is to say?”

“Wait!”

But she was already moving, slipping between bodies like smoke. I moved after her, but the crowd closed, carrying her away from me. My heart shuddered, and I stumbled back, suddenly unsteady.

I saw Kiva fighting her way through the crowd toward me, then Ericen was at my side, his hand pressing into the small of my back. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” I let out a breath. He nodded, then made to turn away again, but I grabbed his arm. “Where have you been the last few days, Ericen?”

His jaw tightened. “I told you. I had a mission.”

Someone shifted behind him, and Shearen faced us just as Kiva reached my side. Shearen slid an arm over Ericen’s shoulders in what would have been a show of camaraderie if Ericen didn’t stiffen at his touch.

“Don’t be modest, Eri,” Shearen said, though his eyes were on me. “Thanks to you, we escorted the first successful shipment of new additions to Her Majesty’s army through the Verian Hills in months. And killed a few rebels while we were at it.”

I stared, unblinking, at Ericen. He held my gaze like a rabbit in a hunter’s trap, and I realized what was different about him. His eyes, normally bright as the sun on the ocean, looked dull. Like something was missing.

“Thia—”

The rest of what he said was lost to me as I turned into the crowd, Kiva at my back. The sharp sound of Shearen’s laughter followed us as I pushed for the far wall, the thud of my heart against my chest leading me onward.

The room was too tight, too full. The mix of perfume and food made the air too thick to breathe. I barely avoided slamming into someone as I pushed through the front doors, through the main hall, and out onto the front steps.

The air was so cold, it burned, but it was fresh, and I gulped lungful after lungful of it until my racing heart slowed. Something tapped my cheek, then again, and I turned my face skyward as rain fell, every drop a shocking touch. I spread my arms and let my head fall back.

Kiva, mercifully, said nothing. She simply stood beside me, her arms folded, shoulders squared in a way that dared anyone to come near us.

I couldn’t explain the betrayal I felt. Over the course of the carriage ride, through our dinner and our talk in the stables, I’d come to understand Ericen a little. But the position he was in wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t like he’d made me any promises. He was an Illucian soldier, and he’d never pretended to be anything else.

But he did make you think he was more.

The rain fell harder. I drew in the night air. What would my mother do right now? She certainly wouldn’t have run away from her own engagement party. She’d have put on a strong face and played her part. Always the diplomat.

Estrel wouldn’t have stood for any of this. She’d have laughed in their faces and walked out without looking back.

“What are we doing here, Kiva?” I asked. “Caylus and I haven’t learned anything, and even Trendell hasn’t fully committed. Now some of the people we needed are dead. Who knows how many.”

She faced me, arms unfolding. “What else can you do?”

“Stop wasting time at stupid balls,” I replied. In the distance, the Colorfalls shone in a hazy glow. Was the egg all right? Had Caylus made any progress?

“Then go,” Kiva said. “I’ll cover for you.”

My heart leapt at the idea, surprising me. It wasn’t just the need to do something or to escape this ball that coursed through me. I wanted to see Caylus.

Kiva smirked like she knew exactly that. “Good luck.” She disappeared inside.