The Storm Crow (The Storm Crow, #1)(31)

My mother and I may not have been close, but in a way, she’d held us all together, held our kingdom together. Her death had splintered mine and Caliza’s relationship, sent me spiraling down inside myself, and set our kingdom unraveling.

Her legacy haunted us all, casting a shadow I couldn’t outrun. Even in Illucia, people had known her name, affording her a grudging respect even as they cursed her. They’d called her Crow Queen.

My fists closed tighter. Caliza had tried to be our mother and failed. I had failed too. We would always fail, and maybe that was for the best. We didn’t need to be her. I didn’t need to be her.

I needed to be better.

“Goodbye, Mother.” I set my hand on the tombstone.

A vibration like an earthquake shot up my arm. I tried to pull away, but my hand wouldn’t move. Voices in a foreign language echoed in my head, flashes of trees and silver eyes swirling in my vision. Then everything shifted violently. I smelled the warmth and hay of a rookery, felt the heat of flames, saw Illucian soldiers dying all around me—then a man with eyes like golden fire.

In an instant, it was over. My hand came off the tombstone, and I stumbled to the side, breathing hard.

I bolted for the castle, trying and failing to process what had happened. Had I hallucinated? The stress and nerves were finally getting to me. I was cracking.

I sprinted inside, up the stairs, and into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me and falling back against it. It took several minutes before my breathing and racing heart even began to calm.

“Nothing happened,” I whispered to myself. “You’re fine. Nothing happened.”

Except my fingers still tingled from the touch. And the vibration… It had felt familiar, like a massive jolt of the feeling I got when I touched the egg. Magic?

The door shook, and I yelped, leaping off it and whirling around. It clicked open, revealing a bemused and uncertain Kiva. She raised an eyebrow, but I shook my head.

“It’s time,” she said.

*

Ericen’s carriage looked overloaded with both our belongings, and we ended up hitching a wagon to a couple of horses to lighten the load. Then suddenly, everything was ready. Ericen had already climbed inside, a package tucked under one arm.

“Are you sure you don’t want your own carriage?” Caliza asked, worrying at a few strands of hair with one hand.

I shook my head. “I have to learn to deal with him. Besides, the better I know him, the better off I’ll be. Whether that means outsmarting him or having one Illucian in that damned kingdom who doesn’t want to stab me in the back.”

She didn’t look convinced.

“I’ll be fine,” I assured her. “For all your worrying, you forget I’m a trained rider. Crow or not, I can still kick someone’s ass.”

She flashed a brief smile that turned into a grimace. “I just hope you don’t have to.”

I dropped my voice. “I won’t stop trying to hatch the egg. We’ll find a way to win the other kingdoms’ support. This isn’t over.”

She flung her arms around me, hugging tighter than ever before. I returned the embrace, trying to memorize the way it felt. If things didn’t go as planned, it may be a while before I hugged my sister again.

“Keep your head down,” she whispered. “I know it’ll be hard, but don’t give Razel a reason to pay attention to you. Don’t make her angry. She can be…unpredictable.”

I nodded but didn’t let go. Maybe if I never did, the world would just pause. I wouldn’t have to go. Rhodaire would be okay.

Caliza squeezed tighter, and finally, we pulled apart. She smiled, and I returned it. “Here.” I undid the clasp of Estrel’s bracelet, then wrapped it around her thin wrist. Her breath caught as I secured it.

“Keep this safe for me,” I said. “I’ll be back for it.”

Caliza’s jaw set, and she nodded. I stepped reluctantly away.

Kiva made a mock grand gesture toward the open carriage door from where she sat on a dappled mare. “Your handsome prince awaits you.” Though she smiled, I could see the tightness in it, the pain behind her eyes. This was difficult for her too. She was losing everything.

I pretended to gag, eliciting a laugh, but she wasn’t wrong.

With a final wave to Caliza, I climbed inside, and a servant shut the door, silencing the outside noises.

The sudden quiet was deafening. It pressed in on me like a flood, and I imagined myself throwing open the carriage door and leaping out. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to curl up in my bed under the covers and—no. I’m doing this. This was my opportunity to help my people, my friends, and my family. To help myself.

The carriage set off, passing through the castle gates. The hum of voices changed. Conversation turned to shouting. My jaw set—protests had been growing in the streets. The news of the engagement had spread, and people weren’t happy. Caliza would be hearing from the house lords and ladies before morning.

People would think she’d cracked under pressure, that she’d forgotten the past too easily. Caliza would suffer the whispers, the mistrustful glares, because she could and because it kept our people safe from the knowledge of how close we’d come to war.

Swallowing hard, I faced Ericen and found him watching me intently.

“I have a present for you.” He offered me the package that had been under his arm.