The Spitfire Girls(48)

She was the first four-engine female bomber, and for the first time since she’d started flying she didn’t need to glance at the co-pilot seat beside her. She didn’t need Tom, she didn’t need an instructor to back her up, she just needed to trust in herself and her ability to get the job done. She listened to the blissful silence inside her own head. All this time, Tom’s voice had been in there, telling her what to do, talking her through every step. But now the only voice she could hear was her own.





CHAPTER TWELVE

HAMBLE AIRFIELD, HAMPSHIRE, ENGLAND,

JULY 1942

LIZZIE

‘Lizzie?’

Lizzie sniffed and quickly wiped her cheeks. She didn’t need May to see her like this, or anyone else for that matter.

‘What’s wrong? Do you need a moment?’ May asked.

She shook her head. ‘No, I’m fine, I just . . .’

May frowned and touched her shoulder. ‘Liz, what’s going on?’

Lizzie tried to speak, but her words choked in her throat and all that came out was a big sob.

‘Oh dear, Lizzie,’ May said, presenting her with a handkerchief and patting her shoulder.

‘I’m sorry, I just . . . I can’t seem to get my head straight today.’

‘I know how hard it must have been for you to accept my decision,’ said May, her voice soft.

‘It’s not that. I mean it is,’ Lizzie managed to say. ‘I’m actually happy for Ruby, honestly. She deserves that flight, and you and Montgomery were right about me. I was acting like the only thing that mattered was my personal success, instead of realising that everything we do is for the war effort. You’ve all lost so much, and it’s easy for me to pretend like this is just a big adventure.’

May smiled. ‘I can’t tell you how good it is to hear you say that, Lizzie. And I overheard some of what you said to Ruby earlier. I’m proud of you.’

‘All I ever wanted was to show my daddy that I was the son he never had, that I was as good as any man, that I could achieve what he’d achieved in the Great War,’ Lizzie shared. ‘It sounds shallow now, but it’s true.’

‘It’s all in the past, Lizzie,’ May said. ‘I’ll be proud to have you second up after Ruby if all goes well today. Heaven knows we have more Halifaxes to ferry than we have pilots.’

Lizzie exhaled in relief. When Jackson had dismissed her, she truly hadn’t known if she’d been dismissed from training altogether.

‘Anything you want me to do, I’m here for you,’ she said honestly. ‘And feel free to give me a good kick up the backside if I go back to the old version of me, okay?’

May laughed. ‘Roger that.’ She paused. ‘I actually came to tell you that I received word from the US ambassador today.’

‘What did he have to say?’

‘Exactly what Jackson told us. The First Lady’s visit is confirmed, and we’re to meet with her at White Waltham.’

‘That’s great,’ Lizzie said, although she was feeling nervous. She’d hoped to be telling Eleanor that she was the first bomber girl, and she hated to think she might have disappointed her. ‘I still can’t believe Montgomery didn’t tell me earlier, though.’

May said nothing for a second. ‘Lizzie . . . There’s something else you weren’t told, too.’ She met Lizzie’s eyes, her expression pained.

‘What? What is it?’ Lizzie demanded.

May cleared her throat. ‘The ambassador also said that . . .’ She hesitated. ‘That a women’s flying squadron has been established in your absence.’

Lizzie opened her mouth to reply, but nothing come out. Her skin went cold, her throat dry. It couldn’t be true. There must have been a mistake.

‘He said it was a plane-delivery service, but I don’t know any other details.’

‘The bastards,’ Lizzie swore, standing up and kicking at her chair. ‘The bloody bastards!’

She’d come here, she’d done what they’d asked of her, she’d brought her best pilots with her, and they’d gone and established a women’s flying squadron without consulting her or asking her to head it? Was this to punish her for something? Was Montgomery involved? Had he said she wasn’t capable? She began to shake. She could cope with Ruby getting the first flight; she could live with that. But this? It was unimaginable!

‘Can I offer you some words of advice before you do something impulsive?’ said May, reaching for her hands.

Lizzie just stared back, seething.

‘Use this information wisely, and demand to take over as head of the programme. Lord only knows you deserve it, and you’ve more than proven yourself to me now,’ May said. ‘But show them the Lizzie we all know you can be, the Lizzie I’ve just seen today. Don’t make contact with anyone in a state of anger or shock. I want you to carefully think this through. I want you to be the leader and pilot that I believe you can be.’

Lizzie could hardly breathe. Had she done this to herself? Had she been so caught up in her own ambitions that she’d lost the role that was supposed to be hers? ‘They’ve forgotten about me. They’ve actually forgotten all about me, haven’t they? And here I was thinking I was proving myself and waiting patiently to be called back.’ She gulped. ‘Either that or I’ve blown it.’