The Soulmate(36)

‘Come on,’ Mei says. ‘We’ll have you back at your desk in an hour.’

I want to protest, but Mei is already getting my coat, and there’s something about the gentle authority of this that I am helpless to resist.

On the short walk to the cafe our conversation focuses on the light and trivial. Dad and his obsession with crosswords. (He thinks they stave off dementia.) Property prices. Kat’s suspected scalp skin cancer that turned out to be a stain from her box hair dye. Asha’s decision to consume only strawberries from now on. What surprises me is how easily I play my part in the discussion, as if drawing on muscle memory. It feels like it should be a pleasure, but today it leaves me feeling empty. I am incapable of conversing properly with my sister now that I am keeping this secret from her. Maybe from now on our relationship will be nothing more than this, a series of repetitive brain spasms.

‘Table for three?’ Dev says, when we arrive at the cafe.

Dev is the proprietor of The Pantry. He took over the premises three months ago. Previously it was called the Lunch Basket and was run by a husband-and-wife team who always looked irritated when you wanted to order something. Dev, on the other hand, is a thirty-something hospitality natural fresh from the city. He remembers customers’ names and coffee orders, gives colouring books to cranky kids and offers free desserts to old ladies who’ve finished their coffee and have nowhere else to go. The town had lost their minds when he arrived, and now the only complaint is how hard it is to get a table. But today, with the weather being nice, most people are sitting outside at the tables Dev has set up on the grass, and there is plenty of space inside. He shows us to a window table and says, ‘I’ll leave you to peruse the menu.’

‘So,’ Mei says, when Dev has left, ‘we have an announcement.’

I notice suddenly that Kat and Mei are holding hands.

‘We’re pregnant!’ they say together.

Kat reaches into her bag, pulls out a small white card and pushes it across the table. I gasp as I clock the familiar black square, the scratches of white, the abstract blob in the centre.

‘Kat is carrying,’ Mei says proudly, and as soon as she says it, I’ve never seen anything so obvious. Kat’s face is rounder. Her breasts are larger. Her hair is shiny and thick and lustrous. She appears both healthier and more tired at the same time.

I slide out of my seat and throw my arms around them jointly, burying my face in Kat’s lovely, thick, pregnancy hair. I remain there for several seconds, joy washing through me, before returning to my seat. ‘Congratulations! This is the best news.’

‘I’m fourteen weeks along,’ Kat says. ‘I know you usually tell people at twelve weeks but I’m superstitious. This is the first time I’ve eaten out in months; the morning sickness has been too horrendous for me to stand the smells.’

As if on cue, Dev places a bowl of clam chowder on the next table along. Kat turns green. ‘Oh God. I think I’m going to . . .’ She leaps from her seat and dashes to the bathroom.

‘Wow, that’s some morning sickness,’ I say, watching her disappear.

When I turn back to Mei, I’m surprised to find that her expression is serious.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.

‘I know, Pip.’

I don’t have to feign my confusion. ‘You know what?’

‘I know.’ Mei glances around and lowers her voice. ‘I know it was Amanda Cameron on the cliff.’

The adrenaline spikes in my blood immediately.

‘I’ve been following it, Pip. I read in the paper that she’d died unexpectedly. I used to work for Max too, remember?’

It’s funny, but I had forgotten. I hadn’t even considered the fact that she would make the connection.

‘Yes, it was Amanda,’ I admit, when I realise I have no choice. ‘But it was a coincidence, Mei. Gabe didn’t even recognise her. She came to the cliff to jump, that’s all.’

‘Then I assume Gabe has told the police of their connection?’

I don’t reply. Mei nods. It’s almost as if she’s not surprised. It puzzles me. Mei knows Gabe pretty well. She loves him. She knows he wouldn’t harm anyone.

‘He didn’t mention that he knew Amanda because it would have looked bad.’

‘Yes,’ she says. ‘It would.’

The silence between us drags on for several seconds.

‘Gabe wasn’t involved in her death,’ I say. ‘You know that right?’

But before she can answer, the door to the bathrooms swings open revealing a slightly less green-looking Kat. Mei leans forward. ‘I haven’t told Kat about this. She’s pregnant and having a rough time of it, and I don’t want to worry her. But I don’t believe it was a coincidence that Amanda was on that cliff.’

‘Guys,’ Kat says when she reaches us, ‘I don’t think I can stay inside with the chowder smell. Can we move to an outside table?’

Kat and Mei call Dev over and a flurry of explanations and congratulations ensue. I muster up a smile but I’m too shocked by my exchange with Mei to engage in any of it.

‘Right this way,’ Dev says, taking our menus. ‘Coming, Pippa?’

I nod and gather up my things.

You’re right, I want to say to Mei. It wasn’t a coincidence. But it wasn’t Gabe’s fault. It was mine.