The Silent Ones: An absolutely gripping psychological thriller(66)

‘It’s not to be discussed inside the house either, after today,’ Joan remarked. ‘I’ve got to try somehow and put my poor boy’s death behind me.’

Ray turned and looked at his wife. Her chafing fingers, her lined, baggy face. She might not be sobbing but she was suffering, he could see that.

‘But the paramedics, they said he’d be OK,’ Juliet cried.

‘They said he should be OK,’ Chloe remarked. ‘They said he should recover.’

‘They can’t give any guarantees when it comes to head injuries,’ Ray said, tears clouding his own vision.

‘The main thing is that he’s at rest now.’ Joan sniffed and dabbed at her dry eyes. Then, in a rare moment of compassion, she looked at Juliet. ‘I know you didn’t mean to fall asleep. It was a terrible accident and now somehow we’ve got to try and put it behind us.’

Ray nodded and squeezed his eyes shut. He’d really loved that boy.

They all had.





Fifty





Juliet





While I’m waiting to see Maddy, I think about my therapy session with Dana.

I’ve thought through everything we talked about. Some of what Dana said to me felt like a powerful spotlight suddenly shining on me after years of sitting in a darkened room.

Could it be possible that I’ve set my ten-year-old daughter the perfect example of how to take on others’ blame and take on the role of the person who always puts things right?

Josh is a healthily mischievous boy. He dodges bedtime, homework and the odd household chore regularly if he can get away with it. Every time Tom or I chastise him, Maddy is there at his side defending him.

‘He was helping me with my art homework,’ or ‘I said I’d sweep up the leaves in the yard for him.’

I’ve never given it any thought before, but now it seems so relevant, resonating with me at a deep level.

Could it really be that my family have subconsciously cast Maddy in the same role they set aside for me all those years before?

Things have been this way for so long, I truly believe that my mother, father and sister are completely unaware of our dysfunctional arrangement – as I was until I met Dana. I’m certain all of them would refute it, even if presented with the evidence.

It’s all so messy and has gone on for so long, it’s hard to know what’s real and what isn’t.

One thing I’m now certain of is that our mother is a narcissist. She constantly craves the attention of her husband, children and now grandchildren in order to feel valued. She labels us according to her own needs, and none of us has been permitted to grow up fully as ourselves. Including my own daughter.

Looking at it now as Dana has helped me to do, with all the crap and family politics neatly brushed away, I feel an aching sense of shame and regret that I didn’t work it out for myself before my daughter got pulled into the monstrous machine that is my family.

And Dad? Dad is like a satellite that orbits around Mum, making excuses for her behaviour, smoothing her path and absolving her of any responsibility or blame.

Dad is lovely and hard to get angry with, but he’s enabled Mum to act the way she has without challenge for so long.

Being around my family, I always felt uncomfortable, an outsider. But I never knew why.

Dana has helped me to see things clearly at last.

She helped me to see that Chloe has been a victim as much as I have. Although she’s always been Mum’s favourite, she is neurotic and needy because of it. She thinks everyone is out to get her. Worst of all, although she appears bossy and entitled, she doesn’t feel she has any power in her own life at all.

I don’t want my daughter to end up like that… like me. I refuse to let Maddy join the treadmill the rest of us are chained to in this family any more. It’s not too late to help her redefine herself.

Brianna is being interviewed and Maddy is next in there.

Somehow I have to make her understand that she can speak up and tell the truth.

She doesn’t have to bear the weight of other people’s shortcomings all on her own.

Like I have for all these years.





Fifty-One





DS March puts her head around the door as I sit waiting.

‘Just to let you know we’ve interviewed Brianna now. Won’t be long until Maddy’s turn.’

‘Is my sister coming back in here?’ I ask.

‘She had to pop out, apparently. Brianna is having a drink and a bit of quiet time.’ March shrugs and disappears again.

What could be so important that Chloe needs to leave the centre when Brianna obviously needs her support? My niece might have told lies about Maddy but I don’t like to think of her abandoned by her mother.

I push my irritation away. If I don’t think about something other than what’s happening in this place, I’m going to lose it.

Finding out the truth about what happened to Bessie Wilford is one thing, but should a miracle occur, I need to a life to take Maddy back to. If we lose the house, the business, everything we have, we’ll be starting again with a whole new set of problems.

If Beth needs any more information about the Van Dyke contract, I want her to feel she can ask me but I know she won’t. She’s said so many times I’m not to fret about it.