The Secret Place (Dublin Murder Squad, #5)(137)

‘So the point of this story is, basically,’ Julia says, ‘Joanne’s still all into Chris, so that makes him her property and everyone else in the world should back off. Did I miss anything?’

‘Yeah, actually,’ Gemma says, giving her a fish-eyed stare. ‘You did.’

She waits till Julia says, with a noisy sigh, ‘OK. What?’

‘Joanne’s tough.’

‘Joanne’s a bitch.’

Gemma shrugs. ‘Whatever. She’s not soft. But what Chris did, that totally wrecked her head. Afterwards, she had to pretend she was sick for a whole week, so she could stay in our room.’

Julia remembers that. Back at the time she considered telling people Joanne had come out in huge pus-filled face boils, but she wasn’t interested enough to put in the effort. ‘What was she, crying?’

‘She couldn’t stop crying. She looked like a total mess, and she wasn’t going to have anyone see her like that – plus she was scared she’d burst into tears in the middle of, like, French, and people would guess. But mostly it was because she was like, if she saw Chris or any of his mates, she’d die right there of embarrassment. She was all, “I can’t ever go out again, ever, I’m going to have to get my parents to transfer me to a school in London or somewhere . . .” It took me a week to get it through her head that she had to go out and see him, and act like she barely even remembered his name, or he’d know how upset she was, and then he’d think she was pathetic. That’s how guys work. If you care more about them than they do about you, they hate you for it.’

Julia would give more than ever for a chance to punch Chris’s teeth in. Not because he hurt Joanne’s precious feelings, which from Julia’s viewpoint is the only bright spot in this whole vile mess; because all this is happening over such a little piece of shit. Selena ruining everything, the look on Finn’s face in the Field: all because of some fifth-rate wankstain who’s never had a thought in his head beyond want *.

She says, ‘So how is this my problem?’

Gemma says, ‘So Selena’s not tough.’

‘Tougher than you think.’

‘Yeah? Tough enough that when Chris pulls the same thing on her, she’ll be totally fine? Which he definitely will. I guarantee you he’s giving her all the same lovey-dovey crap he gave Joanne, and if Jo fell for it, Selena is too. In a couple of weeks she’ll be positive they’re going to get married. And even if she’s shagging him—’

‘She’s not.’

Gemma throws Julia a sceptical one. Julia says, ‘She’s not shagging him. And not because she’s frigid.’

‘Well,’ Gemma says. ‘Even if she is shagging him, and even more if she’s not, sooner or later he’ll get bored. So he’ll vanish off her phone and treat her like she doesn’t exist. How gutted is Selena going to be? Specially once she hears whatever Jo puts around about why she got dumped. Because you know that’s going to be good. You think she’ll get over it in a week? Or do you think she’ll have an actual nervous breakdown?’

Julia doesn’t answer. Gemma says, ‘Selena’s already . . . I mean, not being a bitch, but let’s face it, she doesn’t seem like it’d take much to push her over the edge.’

‘I went through Selena’s phone,’ Julia says. ‘There’s nothing on there from Chris. Nothing that could be from him, even.’

Gemma snorts. ‘Course not. When he was going out with Joanne? He gave her a special secret phone, just for texting him. You know Alison’s new phone? The pink one? That was it – Joanne made Alison buy it off her, after they broke up. I can’t even remember what his excuse was, but basically if you ask me he was scared her parents or the nuns or one of us would go through her actual phone and find out. He told her to keep it hidden.’

When of course the first thing Joanne had done with that phone was show it to all her friends. Not just a fifth-rate wankstain; a thick-as-pig-shit fifth-rate wankstain.

Gemma says, ‘So I bet Selena’s got a special super-secret phone stashed away somewhere.’

‘Jesus,’ Julia says. ‘How much pocket money does he get?’

‘As much as he wants. I heard’ – a smile slides across the corner of Gemma’s mouth; she isn’t telling where she heard it – ‘he’s got a separate phone too, just for girls he’s with. You know what the other guys call it? Chris’s *phone.’

That kind of shit right there is why they made the vow in the first place. Julia wants to get a table-tennis racket and smack some sense into Selena’s head. ‘Classy.’

Gemma says, ‘He’s good. You need to get this fixed before Selena has time to be seriously in love with him.’

‘If she was going out with him,’ Julia says, after a moment, ‘then yeah. It sounds like I would.’

They sit there in a silence that feels strangely companionable. The bus bumps over potholes.

‘I don’t know Chris,’ Julia says. ‘I’ve never even really talked to him. If you wanted to get him to dump someone fast, how would you do it?’

‘Good luck with that. Chris . . .’ Gemma mimes it, one hand coming down edge-first to point straight ahead: single-minded. ‘He knows what he wants, and he goes for it. Forget him. Work on Selena, get her to dump him. Not the other way around.’