The Secret Place (Dublin Murder Squad, #5)(104)

Conway smiled along. ‘The nuns would’ve been delighted, though. So what way were you saved?’

‘Saved from getting back with Chris.’

‘Huh? You said being with Chris was great. Why did you need saving?’

Selena examined that. Said, ‘It wasn’t a good idea.’

That flash again. Wrapped in the pearly mist was someone wide awake and careful, someone we’d barely met.

‘Why not?’

‘Like you said. He messed around all the other girls he was with. Going out with someone brought out his worst side.’

Conway trying to box Selena in, Selena leading her in loops. Conway said, ‘But you said he never did anything bad on you till after you split. What bad side did being with you bring out?’

‘It hadn’t had time to, yet. You said it would’ve, sooner or later.’

Conway dropped it. ‘Probably would’ve,’ she said. ‘So someone saved you.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Who?’

So smooth and easy, it slid out.

Selena thought. She thought without moving: no ankles twisting or fingers weaving, not even her eyes flicking; just still, gazing, one hand loose in the other.

Said, ‘That doesn’t matter.’

‘It does to us.’

Selena nodded. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Yeah. You do.’

Selena met Conway’s eyes straight on. She said, ‘No, I don’t. I don’t need to.’

‘But you’ve got a guess.’

She shook her head. Slow and adamant: the end.

‘OK,’ Conway said. If she was pissed off, she didn’t give any sign. ‘OK. The phone Chris gave you: where is it now?’

Something. Wariness, guilt, worry; I couldn’t tell. ‘I lost it.’

‘Yeah? When?’

‘Ages ago. Last year.’

‘Before Chris died, or after?’

Selena thought about that for a while. ‘Around then,’ she said, helpfully.

‘Right,’ Conway said. ‘Let’s try this. Where were you keeping it?’

‘I’d cut a slit in the side of my mattress. The side that was against the wall.’

‘Good. So think hard, Selena. When’s the last time you took it out?’

‘By the end I knew he wasn’t going to text me. So I only checked last thing at night, sometimes. Just in case. I tried not to.’

‘The night he died. Did you check?’

The thought of that night sent Selena’s eyes skidding. ‘I don’t remember. Like I said, I was trying not to.’

‘But you’d texted him that day. You didn’t want to see if he’d answered?’

‘I hadn’t. I mean, I don’t think so. Maybe I might’ve, but . . .’

‘What about after you heard he’d died? Did you go for the phone, see if he’d sent you one last text?’

‘I can’t remember. I wasn’t . . .’ Selena caught her breath. ‘I wasn’t thinking straight. A lot of that week doesn’t . . . it’s not really in my head.’

‘Think hard.’

‘I am. It’s not there.’

‘OK,’ Conway said. ‘You keep trying, and if it comes back, you let me know. What’d the phone look like, by the way?’

‘It was little, like this big. Light pink. It was a flip phone.’

Conway’s eye found mine. The same phone Chris had given Joanne; he must have got a job lot. ‘Did anyone know you had it?’ she asked.

Selena said, ‘No.’ And flinched. The others, certain sure that there were no secrets in their holy circle: under cover of the night she had slipped out of that circle, left them sleeping and trusting. ‘None of them knew.’

‘You positive? Living in each other’s pockets, it’s not easy to keep a secret. Specially not one as big as that.’

‘I was super-careful.’

Conway said, ‘They knew you were with Chris, though, right? It was just the phone they didn’t know about?’

‘No. They didn’t know about Chris.’ Flinch. ‘I only went out to him like once a week, and I waited till I was completely sure the others were asleep. Sometimes they take ages, specially Holly, but once they’re asleep they don’t wake up for anything. I’ve always had trouble sleeping, so I knew.’

‘I thought yous were so close. Shared everything. Why didn’t you tell them?’

Another flinch. Conway was hurting her, on purpose. ‘We are. I just didn’t.’

‘Would they have had a problem with you seeing Chris?’

Vague look. The pain had her moving away again, taking refuge in her mist. Another girl would have been shifting as the pressure went on, glancing at the door, asking if she could go; Selena didn’t need to. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘So that’s not why you dumped him? Someone found out you two were seeing each other, didn’t like it?’

‘Nobody found out.’

‘You positive? Anything ever make you worry that you’d been sussed? Like maybe one of the others said something that sounded like a hint, or maybe you found the phone in the wrong position one night?’