The Secret Mother(10)

‘No! I’ve been over this so many times with you. If I’d heard her calling out, of course I would have stopped and gone back. I wasn’t charged with anything then, so why are you asking me about this again?’

‘Mrs Markham,’ Marshall says in a serious tone, ‘did you take Harry to your house yesterday?’

‘Take him from where? No, I told you he was already in my house when I got home.’ The air is close in here, my eyes are itching and my body is hot. Too late, I realise I should have waited for a solicitor. ‘Are you accusing me of something?’ I take a sip of water. It’s tepid and does nothing to ease the tightness in my throat.

‘No,’ Chibuzo says. ‘We’re just trying to get to the facts. We’re trying to determine how Harry ended up in your house last night.’

‘I’ve already told you. I’m not lying, if that’s what you think. Why would I have called you if I’d taken him? And anyway, where are Harry’s parents in all this? Ask them what happened. How did they let their son out of their sight? How did he end up inside my house? There’s something strange going on here and it’s nothing to do with me!’

‘Please try not to get upset, Mrs Markham… Tessa,’ Chibuzo says. ‘We’re speaking to everyone involved.’

‘What about my husband, Scott? Are you talking to him? Or is it only me you’ve got a problem with?’

‘We don’t have a problem with you, we just want to find out if there’s anything else you can tell us that might assist this investigation. And yes, we spoke to Scott Markham this morning.’

My legs and hands are trembling. My breathing is too shallow. I think I’m about to have a panic attack. I remember what the doctor told me: take a deep breath and hold it for five, then exhale slowly. Nothing will happen to you, he said. No matter how bad you feel, you won’t die from a panic attack. It doesn’t feel that way at the moment.

‘Are you all right, Tessa?’ Chibuzo asks, her concerned voice sounding too far away.

I hold my hand out to stop her talking. I wish they would go, leave me to get myself together. ‘I’ll be fine in a minute… panic attack…’

‘Interview suspended at… fourteen ten.’





Chapter Five





I probably shouldn’t have come back to work, but I didn’t want Ben to think I was taking advantage of his good nature. Besides, what would I do at home, other than think? And I really don’t want to think about any of it. I aim the hosepipe into the empty plant pot and watch as the water fizzes and splashes, dislodging all the grime and muck.

Thank goodness I didn’t succumb to a full-blown panic attack at the station. My breathing quickly came under control and I managed to pull myself together. Chibuzo stopped the interview and Marshall brought me sweet tea and biscuits. They were kind; they told me to go home and rest. Said that I was being ‘released under investigation’ and that they would contact me if they needed to question me further.

Talking about that awful time brought everything boiling to the surface, but I’ve squashed the memories back down to a light simmer. I can breathe again. Just.

I turn off the hosepipe and stare into the recesses of the plant pot. It’s clean enough. But I still have a stack of fifty more to wash out.

‘Dodgy prawn sandwich for lunch?’

I glance up to see Ben’s concerned face. ‘Hmm?’

‘You look a bit green around the gills.’

‘You’re full of compliments today,’ I retort.

‘Sorry. Just being an observant boss, that’s all. I need my staff fit and well.’ His eyes soften and he tilts his head to the side.

The last thing I need is more sympathy. ‘Thanks, I’m fine.’ Even I don’t believe me.

‘If you say so. Look, Tess, I need to talk to you.’

God, I hope he’s not going to fire me. He doesn’t seem cross or annoyed, but you never can tell.

‘Don’t look so worried,’ he says. ‘It’s just a business proposition.’

I’m staring at him like an idiot. Not sure how to respond.

‘Are you free after work this evening?’ he continues. ‘To come for a drink? Nothing funny, I promise. Just something I’d like to talk to you about.’

‘Um, okay. Straight after work?’

‘Yeah. I thought we could go to The Royal Oak, around the corner. I’ll even buy you dinner on expenses if you like.’

‘Oh, that would be great.’ My stomach gurgles. What with my trip to the police station, I completely forgot to eat lunch. ‘What’s it about, this business proposition?’

‘I’d rather talk about it away from here, if that’s okay,’ he replies.

‘Uh, yeah, sure.’ But I wonder what he has to say to me that can’t be discussed here at work. I guess I’m going to have to wait to find out.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur. I don’t even notice that it’s already rolled around to six o’clock. Ben has to come and find me to tell me it’s time to stop working. I probably look an absolute mess. Part of me wishes I’d had the chance to go home, shower and change. But then again, it’s just Ben, and he sees me looking like crap every day.