The School for Good Mothers(94)



Ms. Khoury says this isn’t the time for cutting corners. If the child understands grace, she’ll hand the beggar the coin and give her a kind word. They should be able to see the doll’s humanity.



* * *



“You have to do this like a big girl,” Frida says. It’s the last day of training, and the classroom has been set up with two morality stations: injured bird and beggar. The doll must complete each drill without coaching.

Ms. Russo said Emmanuelle’s behavior reflects everything she’s learned this year. Whether she feels safe and loved. Whether she has the potential to become a caring and productive member of society. She is the clearest indicator of Frida’s success or failure.

“Can you be smart and kind and brave for Mommy?”

Emmanuelle says yes.

“Thank you, sweetie. I love you.”

They practice saying “Be well.” Frida runs her hands through Emmanuelle’s hair. She would like to know how soon Emmanuelle’s memory will be erased, whether she’ll go into storage until there’s another Asian, who that woman will be, how long Emmanuelle will have to wait for her, what name she’ll choose, what kind of relationship they’ll have. The next mother needs to be careful. It helps, when changing the blue liquid, to massage Emmanuelle’s back.



* * *



Only Frida’s and Linda’s dolls come close to completing the sequence. Linda’s doll makes mistakes but finishes in five minutes. Emmanuelle finishes in six. With speed comes moral ambiguity. The dolls handle the birds roughly. Beth’s and Meryl’s dolls don’t even take the coin.

Ms. Knight visits the mothers at dinner. “I know some of you thought you’d never get here, but I’m sure you’ve come to understand that a mother can do anything. After you leave, you’ll have to assess the quality of your mothering every day. Our voices need to be inside you.”

She asks the mothers to hold hands and leads them in the mantra. Their last evaluation is tomorrow. Their final brain scans are Wednesday.

“We’re excited to see what you’ve learned.”



* * *



At the evaluation for Unit 9, Meryl’s doll drops the bird. Beth’s doll sees the beggar and starts crying. Linda’s doll pockets the coin.

Frida has a chance at first place. At station one, Emmanuelle touches the bird with her finger, saying, “I help, okay. You okay, you okay.” She picks up the bird and delivers it to Frida.

Frida wants to kiss her. Emmanuelle once felt like her enemy, but today her movements are decisive and kind.

Frida leads her to the second station, where the beggar is moaning in pain. The judge should know that Emmanuelle is hers. Emmanuelle shouldn’t be given to another woman. She shouldn’t be erased. She shouldn’t be renamed.

Emmanuelle finally notices the beggar and says, “Baskets.”

Frida hands her the coin, which she drops next to the beggar’s head.

She says, “Be well.”



* * *



The technician’s hands are cold. Frida closes her eyes and begins counting backward from one hundred. Emmanuelle is the focal point, the doll-child she’s learned to believe in and love. Emmanuelle completed both drills yesterday. There were mistakes, but technically, Frida finished in first place.

The counselor said in the past, judges have sometimes made exceptions. An exception is the best Frida can hope for. She’ll apologize for not reporting Roxanne and Meryl. She’ll admit to knowing their plans, even if it’s not true. She’ll blame Tucker for pursuing her. She’ll acknowledge the stress she caused Susanna during her pregnancy. She only earned two zeros. Emmanuelle was not as badly injured as other dolls. There were three trips to talk circle, not dozens. She was caught touching hands, not kissing.

On-screen, it’s July. Emmanuelle is picking up toys. They’re learning how to play. Frida is surprised to see that Emmanuelle has adopted many of her mannerisms. Her frown. Her habit of nodding when she listens. Her nervous blinking. They look like they belong together.

She feels hopeful, but a terrible variable appears in the next frame. She watches herself meeting Tucker at the picnic, trying to ignore the sweat running down her back, the temperature that will now mark her as guilty. Her forehead becomes damp. As she watches footage from the summer, she’s warm with shame. At the dance, they stand close and whisper, obviously a couple. Desire so easy to read.

They’ve made it look like she and Tucker were always together. On evaluation day for the danger unit, she looks helpless, a woman who can’t save any child, who can’t save herself. There are close-ups of Emmanuelle screaming. A shot of Emmanuelle with Frida’s blood on her. There’s footage of Frida and Tucker in the parking lot, playing with each other’s hands. They’ve shown her more scenes of fraternizing than parenting.



* * *



They receive their prognoses the following day. Frida scored high for tenderness, empathy, and care. Her maternal instincts have improved dramatically, but there were indicators of guilt and shame, certain spikes of desire when she watched footage of herself with Tucker.

“We never even kissed. I didn’t cross that line.”

“But you wanted to,” the counselor says, “and wanting to distracted you from your training. I told you to stay away from that man, but you clearly invited his attention. You enjoyed it. How do we know that you won’t pursue this relationship after you leave? You do realize you can’t date him?”

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