The School for Good Mothers(49)

The instructors tell her to control herself. They feed her the lines.

“I am a bad mother, because I let the snow touch Gabby’s bare skin. I am a bad mother, because I prioritized my fear of my child’s meltdown above her safety and well-being. I am a bad mother, because I looked away.”

Ms. Russo interrupts. “If Lucretia hadn’t looked away, she would have noticed that Gabby wasn’t moving. If Lucretia hadn’t looked away, Gabby could have been saved.

“A mother must never look away,” she continues. She pauses and repeats herself, asks the mothers to repeat after her. They bow their heads in a moment of silence for the departed doll.

They hear about the state of Lucretia’s finances at dinner. Student loans, credit card debt, legal fees. If she owes money to the school too, she’ll have to declare bankruptcy. Who’s going to give her custody after that? Maybe she should quit. Maybe she should allow the foster parents to adopt Brynn. Seems like that’s going to happen anyway.

Linda says, “Stop talking like that. Think about your kid.”

“Do not tell me what to do.”

“What? You’re going to be a quitter? Like Helen? You’re going to let your baby get adopted by some white people?”

“I’m just talking. I didn’t mean it.”

“You said you’d give her up. I heard you say that. We all heard you.”

“I was processing my feelings. Just drop it, Linda.”

Mothers nearby are listening. Teen Mom tells Lucretia to calm the fuck down. Frida tells Linda to stop picking on Lucretia. She reaches for Lucretia’s cutlery and moves it out of the way. If it was her, she’d be tempted.

Linda won’t stop browbeating Lucretia.

“If you say one more word to me, I swear,” Lucretia says. “Need I remind everyone that you’re the one who put your kids in a fucking hole? You should be in real jail.”

Frida touches Lucretia’s arm. “Don’t.”

Linda pushes her chair back, comes to Lucretia’s side of the table. She tells Lucretia to stand up. Mothers at surrounding tables go silent. Someone whistles.

Lucretia looks on in disbelief. “What? I am not fighting you. This isn’t high school. What are we? Fourteen?”

Linda pulls Lucretia to standing. A tug-of-war ensues, with their classmates telling both of them to stop. Linda is nearly twice Lucretia’s width and several inches taller, could win easily.

Mothers shout, “Go, Lu!”

As she resists, Lucretia pushes Linda away. The women in pink lab coats see the push. They see Linda fall.

All the guards and women in pink lab coats rush over. Frida, Beth, and Teen Mom shout. Lucretia was defending herself. They’re willing to testify on her behalf. Lucretia tells them to watch the footage. If they watch the footage, they’ll see that Linda started the whole thing.

Ms. Gibson takes Lucretia away while everyone is still arguing. Dinner ends early. The mothers wonder aloud what will happen, though they know. Violence leads to expulsion, expulsion leads to termination of parental rights.

Frida, Beth, and Teen Mom return to Kemp and look for Lucretia in her room. They search the other floors. Teen Mom thinks they should have stopped Linda from mouthing off. Beth thinks they should go to Ms. Gibson’s office together. The instructors should have warned and corrected Lucretia when she took off her doll’s hat. They notice every mistake. Why didn’t they correct her?

They walk to Pierce and spend the next hour wandering the building, knocking on doors, trying to find Ms. Gibson. They head back outside. Beth spots Lucretia standing next to a security guard’s SUV in the rose garden circle. Lucretia is dressed in her personal clothes, a green-and-white ski jacket over a pleated skirt and knee-high burgundy heeled boots, a fedora. She looks commanding and regal.

They run to her, catching snow in the cuffs of their uniforms. The guards tell them to leave.

Beth says, “We won’t cause any trouble. We just want to say goodbye.”

Linda is nowhere to be seen. More mothers arrive. For once, there’s no gawking or whispering or rumormongering. Frida, Beth, and Teen Mom apologize to Lucretia and offer condolences as if her child has died. They blame themselves. They saw Gabby take off her hat. They should have said something.

“I’m so sorry,” Frida says. “I should have helped you.”

“Yeah, well.” Lucretia shrugs.

Frida is surprised to find Lucretia calm, but she may be past tears. Tears will come later, when she thinks back on this one terrible day, following this one humiliating month, when all her life, she mourns her lost daughter.

Frida holds Lucretia for a good minute. It could have been any of them. She wants to ask where Lucretia will go tonight. “It wasn’t your fault,” she whispers.

“It doesn’t matter. Listen, all of you better finish. Except Linda. I don’t care what happens to her. But the rest of you. Don’t you dare fuck this up. If I hear of any of you causing trouble—”

“Enough,” Ms. Gibson says. She sends Frida and the others back to Kemp. Lights-out will be early tonight. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.





9.


THEIR CLASS IS NOW KNOWN as the one with the dead doll. Other mothers keep their distance on the walk to Morris. Frida wishes she could tell Lucretia about the whispers, the staring. How they left her seat empty this morning as a tribute. How they banished Linda from the table. How some Black mothers took her expulsion personally. The ordeal has bonded Teen Mom and Beth. They’ve promised each other that if one gets expelled, the other will quit.