The Saints of Swallow Hill(94)

None of this mattered when it came right down to it. What mattered was it held the sense of a real home, the graciousness of those living here, their generosity and good will. Rae Lynn had taken to sitting in the chair at one of the windows first thing in the mornings, a slight breeze coming through, the white sheers hung on each side waving about. Such peace, she thought, as she sat with her arms folded on the sill, gazing out, listening to birdsong. Their days were filled with good, hard work, and after supper in the evenings, everyone went out on the large wraparound porch, sat in the rockers, fanning themselves, while Norma and Joey played in the yard. She felt guilty for enjoying these moments. She didn’t really want to leave now she was here, and did she dare admit, a tiny bit happy at times? A deal was a deal, however. She and Cornelia said it was only for a short time, and for all they knew, Del, his sister, and Amos were too polite to ask them to move on.

One morning, soon after she’d come to the conclusion they needed to think about what they were going to do, she went to find Cornelia to talk about how they might be overstaying their welcome. She found her hanging clothes on the clothesline at the backside of the house. Norma was with her, handing her clothespins as she needed them and chattering a mile a minute. Rae Lyn leaned against one of the wooden posts. Norma grinned at her, revealing the gap from her two front teeth missing, freckles like her mother’s dusting her nose and cheeks. Cornelia reached for a wet shirt and smiled at her too.

“Hey, Rae Lynn.”

“Hey.”

Cornelia had shaved off the rest of her hair after they’d been there for a couple days. There was no more tar left, and the burns on her face were healing. She wore bright kerchiefs around her head, sometimes along with the hat Rae Lynn let her use. Her cheeks were pink from the heat, but her eyes were clear and shiny with happiness. She no longer held herself like she was expecting to be yelled at or hit. She moved about the house and yard relaxed and easygoing. Rae Lynn could see being here was as good for Cornelia as it had been for her, but the simple fact of the matter was, they couldn’t take advantage of this family’s kindness.

Rae Lynn said, “Norma, would you mind checking with your mama to see if she needs anything out of the garden?”

Norma said, “Yes ma’am.”

She took off running toward the house, yelling, “Mama!” while Rae Lynn took over handing out the clothespins. It was the time of year when the buzz of the cicadas began to dwindle, their summertime symphony coming to an end. The surroundings were quieter without the vibrant hum of their song. Cornelia finished hanging the clothes and stood with her arms folded against her waist, face lifted to the sun, the burn scars patches of pink against tanned skin.

Rae Lynn said, “I reckon you ain’t missing Otis none.”

“How awful is it to say not one bit?”

“It ain’t awful. The truth ain’t always easy, is it?”

Cornelia faced her, and her expression changed ever so slightly to reveal a hint of the forbidden peering through.

“No, it ain’t.”

While Rae Lynn loved being around Cornelia, whatever went on in her head in these odd moments unsettled her. She broke off the gaze and plunged into why she’d come out there to begin with.

She said, “You know, we been here for over a week now.”

“Has it been that long?”

“It has. We got to start thinking about what we’re doing, where we’re going.”

Cornelia’s shoulders slumped.

Rae Lynn persisted. “It’s what we told Del.”

“I know.”

“Maybe Sudie May knows somebody needing help. She takes supper to the preacher at First Baptist Church every Wednesday night. Maybe someone at the church needs help. Knows of rooms for let.”

“Yeah.”

Cornelia sounded glum, and Rae Lynn couldn’t blame her. It felt safe here, and the both of them had said off and on to each other it had been a good decision.

Cornelia said, “Do you want to leave?”

Rae Lynn didn’t answer the question directly.

“They’ve been kind to give us what they have, and ain’t said a word about how long we been here, nothing. But we can’t expect them to let us stay on forever.”

Sigh. “No.”

“I’m gonna bring it up, and soon, okay?”

Cornelia exhaled again and said, “Okay.”

Rae Lynn waited a couple of days, a Wednesday, and went to Sudie May and said, “Let me help you with the preacher’s supper. I got something I wanted to talk to you about as well.”

Sudie May said, “Oh, gosh, that would be wonderful, thank you.”

This was part of what Rae Lynn liked about Sudie May. She always showed appreciation, no matter how small the things they did to help out. They headed for the brooder house chatting about the relentless heat. There wasn’t a hint of a breeze, and even the leaves on the trees hung limp and forlorn. The chickens appeared to sense one of them was doomed for the supper table because they didn’t gather at the fence like usual. As soon as Sudie May entered the fenced area, they set off running and clucking. Sudie May eased toward the hens, but they were wily and smart. They dashed one way and the other. She stopped after a few decent attempts, panting. She and the birds eyed one another. Rae Lynn thought she seemed a little peaked.

She said, “You okay?”