The Rules of Dating My Best Friend's Sister(101)
An idea came to me. “You mind if I tool around in there? I’ve got a song I wanted to try out a cappella.”
He grinned. “You sing?”
Fair question, since he’d only seen me on the drums.
“Occasionally, I dabble. Wrote some lyrics on the plane out here, and I’ve got this melody in my head to go with them. Curious as to how it sounds.”
He hit some buttons and pointed to the booth. “Head on in.”
I situated myself in front of the mic and pulled up the lyrics I’d written on my phone.
Can you meet me tonight?
On the rooftop under the moonlight.
I have a secret and can only pray,
When I say it, you don’t run away.
I’ve tried so hard not to cross the line.
Tried not to wish you were mine.
But I’m telling you as a friend,
Loving me is a dead end.
La…La…La…La
This is my warning.
Will you look at me the same in the morning?
La…La…La…La
Tell me you’ll stay.
Even if I warn you to walk away.
Now I’m going out on a limb,
Admitting you’d be safer with him.
But even if that’s true,
He won’t love you like I do.
I won’t take offense.
I know we don’t make sense.
The truth cuts like a knife.
But you’ll still be the love of my life.
La…La…La…La
This is my warning.
Will you look at me the same in the morning?
La…La…La…La
Tell me you’ll stay.
Even if I warn you to walk away.
La…La…La…La
I love you. I love you. I love you.
CHAPTER 28
Lala
Almost a week later, I stood in my bedroom and looked around for the tape to make another box. The mess reminded me of the day I’d moved in, when the bottoms of all my boxes had busted because I’d used nearly decade-old tape. Holden had made me laugh about it, not gotten annoyed like Warren or my dad would have. That was one of the things I loved about Holden—he didn’t sweat the small stuff. Car broke down in the middle of nowhere? It’s an adventure, not a reason to complain. Forget the music in the middle of a song? Turn the moment into a drum solo and flash an irresistible smile to the crowd. He had an uncanny ability to go with the flow and believed that when we did, we all ended up where we were supposed to be.
That thought made me sad. Because he seemed to be applying the same easy-come, easy-go logic to us. But was that the way relationships were supposed to be? Weren’t we supposed to fight for the things that mattered most to us? That’s how I’d always believed things were supposed to work. Though if I was right, what did that say about how much I meant to Holden? I didn’t matter enough.
A tear trickled down my face as I grabbed another sweater and folded it before placing it into a cardboard box. I hated that I was doing this. I wasn’t ready to leave New York yet. But Holden had been so distant since our call last week when he’d told me I should go back to Philly, and I wasn’t about to stay where I wasn’t wanted.
After I packed the last of my clothes from the closet, I decided to take a break and treat myself to a glass of wine. Mid-pour, there was a knock at my door. I figured it was one of the guys coming to check on me, since I’d mentioned to Owen earlier that I was leaving Sunday. But when I opened the door, my heart stopped at the sight of the beautiful man standing on the other side.
“Holden? What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t back until tomorrow night?”
“We finished a little sooner than expected, so I was able to jump on a flight after we wrapped last night.”
He glanced over my shoulder, and the smile on his face wilted. “What are you doing?”
I turned and looked at all the boxes. “I started to pack.”
Holden seemed surprised, though I wasn’t sure why since he’d been the one to tell me to go back home.
I opened the door wider and stepped to the side. “Come on in.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down. “I need to shower and unpack. I just wanted to let you know I was back.”
“Oh…okay.”
He lifted his eyes, but they didn’t meet mine. “I’ll see you around later?”
It felt like I’d been run over by a bulldozer. “Yeah, sure.”
No kiss. No hug. Nothing.
A few weeks ago, we would’ve both been naked within ten seconds of him knocking.
Tears stung my eyes as I shut the door. I’d been secretly hoping Holden would see me packing up to leave and it would scare him into fight-or-flight mode. Sadly, it had, only he didn’t choose the option I’d hoped. Holden had run away as fast as he could.
Somehow I managed to not burst into full-blown tears. Over the next two hours, I didn’t hear a peep from Holden. I went back and forth about how to handle things, debating whether I should just pack up my car and go now, without any goodbye or warning, or if I should march next door and tell him my feelings had grown and I needed him to fight for me to stay. In the end, I wound up doing something I wasn’t proud of, something that would probably make me feel even more like shit if it didn’t work. I resorted to sex.