The Rules of Dating(98)
I pulled on my hair. I’d never had any idea what the hell she’d been thinking back then. “I’m sorry about what happened to you back home,” I said after a moment. “And I’m glad you weren’t successful in your attempt to end your life.”
“I suppose Saylor wouldn’t be here if it had worked, huh?”
She’d sort of read my mind. As much as I despised Maya, without her, there would be no Saylor. But while I did feel a bit sorry for her tragic past, it wasn’t enough to make me sympathize with her actions toward me. There was still no excuse for what she’d pulled.
“Look…” I said. “Let’s just get through this, okay? We’ve come this far. Let’s learn enough about each other so we’re not wasting our time here.” I stood from the table. “I’m gonna get paper and pens so we can take some notes. We need to ace this hearing.”
She wiped her tears and smiled. “Okay.”
***
The following day, I found myself unable to focus on anything but how much I missed Billie. It had been several days now since I’d last seen her face. I knew the agreement was to not see each other, but it was killing me to be apart from her.
After work, I decided to walk by her shop. My plan was just to peek in, get a look at her for a quick fix, and head upstairs without her seeing me.
But for some reason I hadn’t realized how late it was when I got there. Lately, I seemed to have no concept of time—every day was just a miserable Groundhog Day. I’d been expecting to look in Billie’s shop window and catch her in action, busy at work. But that wasn’t what I saw.
She was alone.
I hadn’t been expecting that.
I also hadn’t been expecting to see her looking so sad as she swept the floor after closing. Her expression was morose, and she seemed lost in thought. How could I just walk away now? My heart pounded as I debated whether to knock and get her attention.
Before I had a chance to decide, Billie looked up and noticed me standing there. I must’ve looked like a sad puppy dog staring in the window. She rushed to the door to let me in. “How long have you been out here?”
I simply shook my head.
She exhaled. “Colby…”
I interrupted her. “I just…need to hold you. I know this is against the rules.”
“We were never any good at sticking to rules, were we?” she said.
I took her into my arms and held her tightly, drowning in her vanilla scent. My heart pummeled my chest as our bodies rocked back and forth. I’d yearned for this so damn much.
When we finally stepped back and looked at each other, I needed just one taste and couldn’t help but press my lips against hers for a slow and painful kiss.
“You should go,” she whispered over my lips before pulling away.
It was damn hard to stop, but I did.
“Thank you,” I said.
Billie stood at the door and watched me as I left. I knew she didn’t want to let me go, but I knew why she’d told me to leave. My being there was a violation of our deal—but it was worth it.
Upstairs, I was surprised to find Maya in the living room coloring with Saylor while the nanny watched. I didn’t know whether to be mad about it, but I supposed if she were living under our roof, I had to expect that she’d have some interaction with my daughter.
“What’s going on here?” I asked as I entered the apartment.
Saylor ran to me. “Daddy! You’re home!”
“What are you up to, sweetie?”
“Coloring with Maya.”
“That’s…fun.”
Saylor pointed. “You have red all over your lips!”
Billie’s lipstick.
I rubbed the corner of my mouth. “Do I?”
No fucking way am I washing it off.
“I guess we know why you were late,” Maya chided.
I glared at her.
That night, Maya joined us for dinner. While things still weren’t great between us, I felt a bit more tolerant of her now. We’d spent some time after our talk getting our fake stories straight in preparation for the Stokes hearing.
In bed that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie. Holding and kissing her earlier had put me over the edge. It made me realize I couldn’t live without her.
Next to my bed, I had a pen and paper laid out with notes I’d taken about Maya. I ripped off a new sheet and began pouring out my thoughts and my heart to Billie, all the things I wished I could say to her tonight. I’d probably never send it to her, but I needed to put these feelings somewhere.
CHAPTER 29
Colby
It was the third time I’d caught Maya watching me tonight. Saylor and I were sitting on the floor in the living room playing Candy Land, and Maya had been cleaning up after eating her dinner. I probably could’ve ignored it or chalked it up to her studying me to prepare for tomorrow’s interview, but after nearly two weeks of living together, I’d learned to read her. Tonight, the look in her eyes made me think she wanted something.
She smiled as we locked eyes, and I immediately forced my gaze back to the game board without returning the sentiment. The last thing I wanted was to give her the impression I was interested in anything more than getting us out of this mess. I guess she took the hint, because she disappeared into the guest room and didn’t come out until after I’d put Saylor to bed.