The Rules of Dating(114)

“I love you, too, babe. But I’m not sure I’m really that sweet. Because while you’re thinking how romantic I am, I’m still sitting here with a hard-on, wondering if I could get away with banging you on the chair before you start my tattoo.”

Billie laugh-cried as she opened her arms. “We definitely can do that. Come here and let me make that dream of yours finally come true.”

I cupped her cheeks. “Sweetheart, I can’t wait to get you naked, but you’ve already made all my dreams come true…”





EPILOGUE


Colby

One year later



Holden stood at the podium, readying to give his speech. The DJ held his hand up, prompting everyone to quiet down as Holden took the mic. I held my breath, unable to imagine my best man taking this seriously, and wondering whether I was about to get roasted.

Holden smirked at me, then began to speak. “Loyal…talented…stunningly handsome—the best friend anyone could ask for.” He paused. “But enough about me.”

Our guests roared with laughter.

“My name is Holden Catalano, and I’m here for the free food and booze.” He grinned as everyone laughed again. “Actually, much to his dismay, I’m Colby’s best man.” He looked over at me. “While I’d love to be able to say Colby chose me for this role, I’m standing here today because I drew from a hat a piece of paper with the words best man written on it. Our buddies Owen and Brayden, on the other hand, drew blanks and were relegated to mere ushers as a result.” He turned to me. “I want you to know, Colby, that I take this responsibility very seriously. I’ve even waited until after this speech to get shitfaced because I didn’t want to botch this up. Because let’s face it, I’m the worst man, not the best for this job. But alas, you’re stuck with me.” He sighed. “We all know that if Ryan were here, he would be the best man. Instead, he’s looking down on you right now, thinking… How the hell did you snag a woman as awesome as Billie?”

Laughter once again erupted throughout the ballroom. When it dissipated, he went on. “Colby and I, along with Owen, Brayden, and our late friend, Ryan, have been friends since childhood. Growing up, we called upon Colby as the oldest in our group to set an example for us.” Holden paused. “That explains why we’re all idiots.”

I clapped. Billie and I looked at each other as we cracked up.

“But honestly, I am the wrong man for this job, partly because Colby and I have always been like yin and yang. He went to the fancy schools and got the fancy jobs. Most of the jobs I manage to snag are of the blow variety.”

Billie placed her hands over Saylor’s ears. Thankfully, my daughter had no idea what that meant and seemed unfazed.

“And you certainly don’t need to go to a fancy school to be a drummer like me,” Holden continued. “That said, Colby doesn’t have a musical bone in his body. We used to take girls we were looking to let down easy to karaoke so they could hear Colby sing—they’d magically disappear.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“And don’t even get me started on our styles. Couldn’t be more different. Colby wears three-piece suits on the regular. The last time I wore a three-piece suit, I was sitting next to my defense attorney in court after a barroom brawl.”

My shoulders shook. “True,” I mouthed to him.

“So if we’re so non-compatible…why the hell did I agree to this important task? Well, the answer is simple.” He paused. “I’m here for Billie.”

I looked over at my bride, who wiped a tear of laughter from her eye.

“I knew from the first time Billie worked on my body art that she had amazing taste. I thought she could do no wrong. Then I found out she was in love with Colby and realized…nobody’s perfect.”

Our guests were once again in stitches.

Holden scratched his chin. “So, yeah, Colby and I…we’re yin and yang. And I know this because earlier, I looked up the meaning of yin and yang for the first time in my life—to make sure I had it right.” He looked around the room. “It’s one of those things you always hear about but don’t fully understand. And in learning about it, I realized that even more yin and yang than Colby and me, are Colby and Billie.” Holden turned to us. “Listen to this: yin represents an energy that is feminine and dark.” He pointed to my bride. “That’s totally like badass Billie, right? And yang represents energy that is bright, masculine, and I shit you not…hot. You’re welcome, Colby.” He laughed. “Doesn’t that remind you of the two of them? Opposites that go so damn well together that it’s like they were made for each other, like the sun and the moon.” He looked over at us. “The most important realization in my research of yin and yang is that even though they’re opposites, they rely on each other to exist. Without night, there is no day. Without love, there is no grief—we all learned that the hard way when Ryan passed. And I think it’s safe to say, without Colby, there is no Billie. Without Billie, there is no Colby. They’ve become one today.” Holden flashed his megawatt smile. “And yes, I did manage to bring this speech to a sappy ending.”

My cheeks hurt from grinning.

He grabbed his champagne flute and lifted it. “So, to Billie and Colby, yin and yang. You inspire me to want to fall in love someday…when I’m sixty-five and can no longer get it up.” Amidst the laughter of the audience, he added, “Love you both! And Colby, man, if you didn’t like this speech, I suggest choosing someone else to be your best man the next time you get married.” He winked at me.