The Revenge (The Insiders Trilogy #3)(68)

I hid a grin, going back to work. “No. This as in you and me in the same room, and being normal.” I thought about it. “Kinda. Sorta.” Okay … “Not really. But you know what I mean.”

He expelled a ragged breath. His hand thumped down on his armchair and he lounged back. “I haven’t got the first clue about what you’re talking about. I’m just,” he hesitated, choosing his words, “I just don’t want to lose you.”

My breath stopped in my chest. It held there.

He was looking down, shaking his head. “I was so fucking scared.” His voice grew thick. Hoarse. “I thought I would lose you. From the kidnapping attempt, to when Victoria ripped into you, to after you lost your mom. I didn’t think…” He lifted his head, and there was no wall there. No mask. He was more naked with me than when we made love. “I don’t think I’ve breathed until now, and I had no idea.” Another layer slid away, and he was hurting. The pain was raw and pulsating.

I went to him. His face tightened in agony and I was there. I was in his lap, and my hands were cradling both sides of his face. “I love you.”

He drew in a breath. “Are you sure?”

God.

He was so raw right now.

“I’m sure.”

He moved his head, up and down, just slightly. My forehead went down to rest against his, and he closed his eyes. “My grandfather, I didn’t deal with him when I was young—”

“And what? Become a murderer?” I lifted my head, and I tipped his chin up to meet my gaze.

My chest was squeezing together at the sight of his suffering. He was ripping me in half, but I kept on. “You couldn’t do anything except live in fear.”

I found his hands and laced our fingers together. Resting our hands on his legs, I moved so I was straddling him. “I’m going to find my mother. We’re going to get her back. Then I’m going to help you destroy your grandfather, once and for all, and figure out what to do with your twin brother.”

I bent down, finding his lips, and I lingered, just needing to feel him.

Once I had my fill, I slid off his lap and went back to the desk.





FORTY-TWO

Kash


All night long. She never wavered.

She took my breath away.

Every minute. Every hour. She was nonstop. She wasn’t going to stop until she found Chrissy.

This. This felt good. This felt refreshing.

Hell. This felt necessary.



* * *



She worked past the next day shift.

The staff was sent home, paid day off. The minimum amount of guards stayed on.

I told Peter to take the kids away for the day, and I brought Bailey licorice and energy drinks.

It was that afternoon, after too many hours of working, when her hands shoved in the air and she pushed back her chair. She took a victory walk around the room, pumping her fists in the air.

“Scooore! Bailey Hayes wins again!” She turned to me, fists in the air, and the brightest smile I’d ever seen on her face. “I found her. I got visual. And I got in their neighbor’s security system.” A strand of hair fell down her forehead. Her cheeks rounded, and she puffed it back up. She never lost that smile. “I found her, Kash. I found my mom.”

Her hands still in the air. Red in the face. Her eyes wild and dilated.

I smiled back. “I knew you would.”

I stood, slow, so she could see my purpose.

She did, her hands starting to lower. Her eyes widened, and I heard the air catch in her throat. “What are you doing?” But she was excited. I heard that, too, a whisper at the end of her statement.

My grin turned wolfish. I went full force, knowing my eyes were smoldering and intense, and knowing how she reacted to that.

“You know what I’m doing.” A slow step toward her.

She was getting flustered, and her chest rose, holding. Her hands started fluttering in the air, and I didn’t think she knew she was doing that.

Another step to her. “I’ve been watching you do your thing all night, and most of the day. Do you realize how sexy you are?”

She was captivated, her eyes holding to mine, and I slowly reached for her.

She was coming down from a high.

I drew her chest to mine, my hand sliding under her shirt and up her back. She murmured to me on a sigh, “I found my mom, Kash.”

I bent down to her, my lips over hers. “You did.”

She smiled, a tear slipping from her eye. “I’m so happy right now.” Then a crease showed in her forehead. “It always goes away after. It can’t go away this time.” Her hand went to my arm, sliding up over my bicep. “I won’t come back this time if it goes away.”

That wouldn’t happen.

My lips touched hers, and I murmured back, “It’s not going anywhere. I won’t let it.”

No matter what I had to do.





FORTY-THREE

Bailey


“Are you insane?” I hissed at Kash, my mouth gaping.

After we closed everything down, I wiped any security feed of us and then cleaned everything up on the hardware. I had broken so many laws, and just thinking about a ballpark of them made my legs wobble.

He was on the phone, shirtless, and standing facing the windows.