The Reckless Oath We Made(116)

“Okay, Zee,” Bill said, after we were sitting down.

“I want to say that I’m sorry, even though I know it doesn’t do you or Gentry any good. But I don’t want you to think I’m not sorry, just because I haven’t said it. And I’m sorry for coming here, because I know I’m not welcome, but I wanted to ask about the FOR SALE sign, because I don’t want Gentry to sell his land and—and the castle.” That was really as far as I’d gotten in figuring out what I needed to say. “Because I know how much it means to him, and what happened is my fault.”

“You damn right it is,” Charlene called from the kitchen, which would have been funny if I didn’t think she’d be happy to slap me silly. She came to the doorway and glared at me. “And how dare you go out to Bryn Carreg? What right do you have to go out there?”

“None,” I said. “But Rosalinda asked me to take her there to spread Edrard’s ashes.”

“Oh, you went out there to help scatter the ashes of a man you got killed?” Charlene took a deep breath and said, “That could have been my son!”

“Charlene,” Bill said.

“Our son!”

I nodded, because it was all true. Charlene took another breath and snorted it out. Then she turned and went back to the kitchen. Because Bill didn’t say anything, I tried to go back to what we’d been talking about.

“It’s bad enough Gentry is being punished for trying to help me, but I couldn’t stand for him to get punished by losing Bryn Carreg, too,” I said.

“I think you know that’s not the kind of people we are.” Bill crossed his arms on the table and leaned toward me. It made me wish Charlene would come back. I could stomach her yelling at me, because I’d spent most of my life with my mother yelling at me. I wasn’t sure I could take Bill being kind and fatherly.

“I know,” I said. “But I don’t know why you’re selling his land.”

“Well, it’s a simple matter of economies. I cosigned the loan for Gentry, because he was only nineteen, but he has been solely responsible for the mortgage and the taxes. We’ve been doing that out of his savings, but that’s about to come to an end. We can’t afford to keep paying it without his income. He understands it has to be sold.”

“I can pay it,” I said.

“Oh, the shit is getting deep in there.” Charlene slammed a cabinet in the kitchen and something metal fell on the floor.

“I think that’s a very noble gesture,” Bill said, “but the property taxes come due on December first, and it’s quite a bit of money that has to be paid all at once.”

“I can pay it.”

Charlene came stomping into the dining room and tossed two things onto the table in front of me. An envelope from the tax assessor in Chautauqua County and a loan payment book.

“Sure, you go on ahead and pay it,” she said.

Bill didn’t say anything, so I looked at the tax bill first. Almost four thousand dollars, which wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. The next coupon in the payment book was for November first, in a week. Five hundred and eighty dollars. I rounded up and did the math in my head. The mortgage and taxes were about eleven thousand dollars a year.

Rosalinda’s phone had been practice for the idea of giving away money. The fifty thousand for LaReigne would go to Marcus. I wouldn’t touch that. But I had thirty-four thousand dollars for me in the safety deposit box. That would almost pay off my medical bills, but it would also pay three years of the mortgage and taxes on Gentry’s land. And I could add to that. I could pick up a few more shifts, or if worse came to worst, I could do the run for Toby. I just had to keep everything afloat until Gentry got on his feet again. I put the tax bill back in the envelope and stuffed the coupon book in there, too.

“I promise I’ll pay it,” I said. It was all I’d come there for, so I pushed my chair back from the table and stood up. “Just, please, don’t tell Gentry. You can tell him whatever you want, but don’t tell him I’m paying it.”

“You’re sure?” Bill said.

I nodded and said, “Thanks.”

I didn’t wait for them to walk me to the front door. I knew where it was.

When I got to the foyer, I heard Charlene say, “She’s never going to pay that.”

“We’ll see, I guess,” Bill said.

As I went down the sidewalk, the front door opened behind me and Trang called my name. I waved at him over my shoulder, but kept walking. He came after me, crunching through the leaves, all the way to the car.

“I’m glad to see you,” he said. “Gentry asked me to give you this, but I didn’t know where to send it.”

He held out an envelope that had my name written on it. Lady Zhorzha Trego. I didn’t want it. Some of the worst anxiety I’d had in the last six months was about someday seeing Gentry or hearing from him. I could pay the mortgage and the taxes on Bryn Carreg, as long as I never had to open that envelope and read that letter, but Trang was holding it out, so I took it.

“It’s a visitation form. So you can be on the list to go visit him. He wanted to mail it to you, but we didn’t have your address.”

“Why would he want to see me?” I said, even though I could think of a few reasons, and they were none of them good. The way I felt about seeing LaReigne, I figured that was how Gentry would feel about seeing me. He’d stopped seeing Miranda and her kids because they’d been rude, and I’d done a lot worse. I could never live up to Gentry’s standards.