The Rebel of Raleigh High (Raleigh Rebels #1)(33)

“You watch me, Silver. I feel your eyes on me all the time. You think I didn’t know you were there on the football field, sitting underneath the bleachers?”

My usual reaction would be instantaneous embarrassment, but not this time. He crossed a line coming here. I don’t have to be anything other than angry. “What do you want me to say? When a car’s hurtling toward the edge of a cliff and you know it’s about to crash through the safety barrier and explode in a fiery ball of flames on the rocks below, it’s impossible to look away, Alex.”

“It wasn’t just yesterday, though, was it? You’ve been keeping an eye on me for the past two weeks.”

“You’d only know that if you’d been watching me,” I snap back.

He smirks. Hair tousled, skin pale, eyes as dark as sin. His mouth twitches as he breathes steadily down his nose. “I have a brother. A little brother. He’s in care right now. I want to be his legal guardian when I turn eighteen, but I need to impress the crap out of Darhower first. I’m asking for your help.”

So, there is a reason behind this. I knew there had to be, but I didn’t expect it to be this. He has a little brother, and he wants to take care of him. I just…I can’t picture it. Not for a second. Alex doesn’t exactly give off the responsible, standin-father kind of vibe.

“I have seven months to get my shit together. If you sign off on my lesson sheet twice a week, that’d be a huge step in the right direction.”

I laugh, massaging the pads of my fingers into my forehead. Seems I’ve developed a bastard of a headache all of a sudden. “Sign off on the lessons? Say you’ve done them when you actually haven’t? Right. So, you want me to lie for you. What are you gonna do when you have to sit the end of year music exam, genius?”

A secret, amused smile makes it all the way to the corners of his eyes. “You don’t need to worry about that. I’ve got it handled.”

“This is some fucking bullshit, Alex.” If he doesn’t register the frustration and annoyance in my voice, then he’s mentally fucking compromised. He’s been wasting my time, playing some sort of weird game with me ever since he decided to climb into my car, and I don’t know why. Whatever his reasoning, I’m sick of it.

Another round of thunder growls in the distance. “Fine. Just go. I’ll sign off on your lessons. Whatever you want me to do. Let’s just minimize contact as much as possible. I’m not willing to make my life any harder than it already is.”

He stares at me, unblinking. His eyes run me through like dark blades. “I think you’ll change your mind about that one, Silver.”

Exasperated, I get up, hurriedly putting away my guitar. My fingers find the catches on my hard case, but it takes three attempts to close them. “I don’t understand what your game plan is here, but you’re not making any sense. You stood there in the bathrooms the other day and told me in no uncertain terms that you weren’t interested in me. But by the way you’re talking now, it sure as hell doesn’t sound that way.” I continue to fluster, snatching the other guitar from him and sliding into the gig bag, zipping it up in quick, angry movements.

“How does it sound to you, Silver?” The timbre of his voice mimics the thunder, gravel, rough, deep enough to make me quake.

Rounding on him, my chest rising and falling way too quickly, I ball my hands into fists, fighting the urge to scream. “Like you realized it might be fun to try and mess with me. Like you saw a broken, vulnerable person, just trying to get through her last shitty, miserable days of high school, and you thought to yourself, “Hmm, graduation’s a long way off, Alex. Maybe you should toy with that girl as a source of entertainment to stem your own selfish fucking boredom.”

He stands perfectly still, frozen in place. The only small movement he makes is that of his shoulders rising slowly. As always, he appears annoyingly unaffected by what I’ve just said to him. His gaze is as hard as ever, impenetrable and distant. For one insane, awful moment, I think I’m actually going to pick up one of Dad’s barely used tools and smash him over the head with it. That would be satisfying, at least, and I’d feel a little relieved for a moment before the remorse kicked in.

“You think you’re so fucking clever, don’t you?” I snap. “Nothing touches you. Nothing reaches you. You’re… you’re…”

“I’m what?”

“You’re a void, Alex. A vast, beautiful fucking black hole that sucks everything into it and gives nothing back. Ever. Even the goddamn daylight can’t escape you. A dark cloud follows you wherever you go. It’s impossible to miss. You see everything. You judge everyone. You think you know everything. And, underneath all of that, you feel nothing.”

For the very first time, a small flicker of emotion flashes over his features. I haven’t angered him, though. His composure doesn’t falter even for a heartbeat. He simply looks…confused. With careful, measured, even steps, he moves towards me, and a kernel of fear begins to take root inside me. What…what the hell is he going to do?

“I have a temper,” he grinds out. “A bad one. I had to master it a long time ago, otherwise it was going to master me. So, yeah. I’m not exactly the most reactive person you’ll ever meet. But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing going on in here,” he says, tapping the side of his head. “I’m not aloof. I’m not cold. I’m not distant. I’m learning. And I feel everything, Silver.” He pauses, an unfamiliar edge of uncertainty smoldering in his eyes. It looks like he’s battling with himself over what he should say next. He speaks quickly, then, rushing the words out, as if he wants to expel them from his body before he can change his mind.