The Reading List(27)

Naina beamed and beckoned her forward to a seat. She didn’t stop singing for a minute.

In that room, Indira could sense the love and respect everyone had for this woman standing in front of them. If Indira was going through the same thing, would people be here for her, watching with the same look in their eyes? She doubted it – she knew why, she knew that she and Naina were different kinds of women. But Indira was always searching for connection; it was just that, quite often, no one was searching with her.

After the satsaang ended, Indira huddled against the far wall, pretending to make sure she had all her things, feeling awkward and alone, not knowing who to talk to. Naina approached her. Everyone else was focused on chatting with their own friends, their sisters, their cousins, their neighbours.

‘Indiraben, so lovely of you to come. It has been a long time, ne?’

‘Ha, Nainaben. You did wonderfully today, your daughters, they are very proud,’ Indira gestured to the three women sitting right at the front, now engaged in conversation. ‘Clapping and cheering all the way through!’

Naina looked towards her daughters, Deepali, Rohini and Vritti. ‘Ha, they are wonderful.’

Indira nodded, held her hands to Naina’s face, felt her warm, soft skin. ‘Jai Swaminarayan,’ Indira whispered to her. Naina’s hands clasped hers, ‘Thank you, ben,’ she said, her smile gentle, a sparkle in her eyes.

That day was the last day Indira saw Naina. The reading list remained screwed up and forgotten in the plastic bag for a long time, taken to and from the mandir every week. But, at just the right time, it would find its way out.





Chapter 9


MUKESH


‘HURRY UP, DADA! I want to get to the library.’

Mukesh enjoyed the walk up to the high road, but the air hurt his lungs as he struggled to keep up with Priya, skipping along ahead of him. Just watching her somehow made him feel even older, frailer. Once upon a time, he’d held Priya as a newborn. All eyes and ears, and a tiny button nose. How small and breakable she had seemed then. And now look: their roles had already reversed. He was the breakable one now.

The Harrow Road Library was an old building, completely different from the modern Civic Centre; it looked as if it had been someone’s house once, with big white walls and timber framing, black and bold. Behind it was the park, so it was quiet and peaceful despite being on the main road. There were lots of windows, some were definitely new and modern, along with those terrifying ‘automatic-open’ glass doors. He spotted a sign on the door that he hadn’t noticed before: Save Our Libraries it said. Spread the word.

‘Wow,’ Priya whispered as she approached. ‘Ba took me here once, when I was little. I don’t really remember it though.’

Mukesh nodded; he was nervous, embarrassed after last time, but Priya’s excitement was spurring him on. Keeping hold of Priya’s shoulder, to prevent her from running off again, he took a moment, before approaching the door, to check who was there. He peered through to see dark hair, pulled back into a bun, surfacing above the desk. It was her, the rude girl. He sighed and squared his shoulders.

The doors parted for them as if by some sort of miracle and, as soon as they were inside, Priya shot off in the direction of the children’s area. He knew she was a little too old now for those books, but she probably knew what she was looking for.

He watched as Priya dipped in and out of the shelves, already browsing, completely unperturbed by this strange new world. How did she find it so easy? Looking around, everyone knew what they were doing. Everyone but him.

Some shelves were brimming with books, whereas others were sparse, with barely four or five volumes spread along the whole row. There were tables and modern-looking computers lined up against one wall, and chairs dotted around, some scruffy, some that looked brand new. There was even an upstairs area, but there was a chain hanging from the banister with a sign clearly stating it was for ‘Staff Only’. This library was on the small side, but he felt sure he might be able to find something here – and his mind returned to why he was back again so soon; this mystery book reservation could be his first step to becoming a ‘library person’, just like everyone else here.

He took a deep breath and walked towards the girl at the desk. He was surprised to see that she was smiling at him.

‘Hello,’ he said warily as he approached, one eye catching sight of Priya, assuming her usual pose on a beanbag: book held open between her hands.

‘Hello, can I help you?’ the girl asked. He looked around for her phone, for her headphones, for a sign that she wasn’t really paying attention, but there was nothing. How odd.

‘I’m here to pick up a book I have reserved. Except I have a question.’

‘Oh, okay?’

‘You see, I didn’t reserve a book. I only joined the library just over a week ago. Is this a welcome book or something?’

‘Mr Mukesh Patel?’

‘Yes? That … that’s me.’ Either she knew too much, or this was excellent library service.

She typed something into the computer. Her nails made that clack-clack-clacking sound. It forced Mukesh’s teeth to grit together.

‘Yes, To Kill a Mockingbird. That’s right.’ Her eyes were still on the screen. Mukesh didn’t know what was meant to happen next.

Then she pulled something out from under her desk. A book. She handed it to him. He didn’t like the feel of its laminated cover very much, but he could get used to it.