The Perfect Son by Freida McFadden(53)

As I wait, I rinse off my face, although there’s not much to rinse since I didn’t bother with makeup this morning. I let the hot water wash over my skin, trying not to think about what’s going to happen tomorrow. Liam’s bail hearing. Every time I imagine it, I get a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach.

What if he doesn’t make bail? I can’t conceive of not getting to take him home tomorrow. But Landon says I have to accept the possibility that Liam might be in jail for the duration.

Liam in jail. My little boy in jail. Surrounded by murderers and thieves.

“Done,” Jason says, as he hands me the handle of the electric toothbrush.

“Thanks,” I say.

We are so polite.

My hands are shaking as I try to get electric toothbrush head in place. Jason watches me for a moment until he takes it for me and secures the brush.

“It’s going to be okay,” he says. He furrows his brow. “It’s just a misunderstanding. In a week, this will all have blown over.”

I snort. “Do you genuinely believe that?”

He stares at me, a sad look in his blue eyes. “Erika, do you genuinely believe our son killed that girl?”

The bathroom feels stiflingly small. I’ve got to get out of here. I put down the toothbrush, even though I haven’t brushed yet, and scurry back into our bedroom. Jason follows me, apparently still waiting for an answer to his question. I wish I had his faith in Liam. But I know things he doesn’t know. As much as he wants and needs to hear it, I can’t tell him I believe Liam is innocent.

“I know it doesn’t look great for him.” His tone is almost pleading. “But Liam wouldn’t do this. He’s a good kid. He comes from a good family.”

Arguably, Jason and I are good parents—both of us are so normal, we’re boring. But Jason doesn’t know my history. He doesn’t know the secret about me that I only recently found out myself. And maybe I owe it to him to tell him the truth. Maybe that’s the only way to make him understand. Even if it makes him look at me differently.

“Jason,” I say. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

His eyes widen and he takes a step back. After the number of revelations he’s had to deal with in the last few days, I feel bad dropping this one on him. But I owe it to him to be honest.

“You’re scaring me, Erika,” he says. “Should I… should I be sitting down?”

I reach out and take his hand, which is unsurprisingly clammy. I lead him over to the bed, and we sit side by side. Jason is staring at me intently, his brows knitted together.

“I recently found out something… kind of surprising.”

He shakes his head. “More surprising than the police arresting our kid?”

I take a deep breath. “It’s about my father. He’s… he’s alive.”

His mouth falls open. His face looks about how mine probably did when my mother dropped the bombshell on me. “Are you serious? How?”

It’s harder than I thought to tell him the truth. Because I know what it means. I have always believed that while Liam had his issues, it wasn’t my fault. But now I know the truth. Liam is the grandson of a murderer. This is in his genes. And it doesn’t help matters that he looks exactly like my father. The spitting image.

I explain it to Jason as best I can, considering all I know is from my mother. He listens, his face growing paler by the second. When I finish telling him everything, he mutters, “Jesus.”

“I know.”

“How could your mother have kept this from you?”

“I guess she thought it was easier to think he was dead. That knowing he was in jail might traumatize me.”

He frowns. “Are you going to go see him?

“Do you think I should?”

“It’s your decision, Erika.”

“Yes, but what do you think?”

He hesitates for only a second. “If I were you, I wouldn’t.”

“But he’s my father…”

“So what? The man is a murderer. Do you really want to have anything to do with him after that?”

The conviction in his voice unsettles me. After all, there might be a time in the near future when we have to visit our own son in jail. If it comes out that Liam really did kill Olivia, will Jason disown him?

The truth is, I know deep down, whether Liam did it or not, I’m going to support him. I’ll visit him every week in jail if it comes down to it. I hope it’s not true, and I pray to God that Olivia is okay, but no matter what, Liam is my son. No matter what he does, that isn’t going to change.

I’m not sure Jason feels the same way

“I haven’t decided yet.” I chew on my lip. “Obviously, this isn’t the best timing. But… I’m curious. What if Liam is the way he is because…?”

Jason cocks his head to the side. “Because of what?”

“Because of me. Because he’s inherited it from me?”

He blinks a few times. “You’re not a murderer, Erika.”

“But my father is.”

My husband stares down at his hands for a moment. My stomach fills with butterflies as I try to figure out what he’s thinking. When I can’t stand it another second, he looks back up at me. “Liam didn’t kill that girl.”