The Perfect Couple(88)

“Seriously?” Merritt says.

“Seriously,” Celeste says. “I wanted him to enjoy himself and not worry about checking in with the future wife.”

“Relationship goals,” Merritt says.

Celeste takes a sip of her bloody mary; the alcohol and spice go right to her head. She considers telling Merritt that the reason she asked Benji not to call was that she didn’t want to hear any news about Shooter—what Shooter had planned, what Shooter was doing, what funny thing Shooter said. Celeste is almost to the finish line. The wedding is four weeks away, but still she’s afraid she’ll get tripped up by her irrational heart. Every day she thinks about calling the wedding off.

Celeste takes another sip of her bloody while Merritt peruses the oyster list on the blackboard. It would be such a relief to confess her feelings to Merritt. That’s what best friends are for, right? Technically Celeste is being a bad friend by not telling Merritt. And yet Celeste fears naming her feelings. She’s afraid if she says the words aloud—I’m in love with Shooter—something very bad will happen.

Merritt orders a dozen oysters. She’s in a West Coast mood, she says, so six Kumamotos and six Fanny Bays; Celeste has agreed to taste one of each in an attempt to cultivate a taste for the little buggers. Genus: Crassostrea. Species: gigas.

Merritt takes an exaggerated breath and says, “Please don’t judge me.”

“I would never,” Celeste says. “What’s going on?”

Merritt holds out her hand. “I’m so nervous, I’m actually shaking.”

“Just tell me,” Celeste says. She’s used to Merritt’s theatrics. They’re one of the reasons Celeste loves her.

“I’ve been seeing someone,” Merritt says. “It started a few weeks ago and I thought it was a casual fling, but then the guy called me up and since then it’s gotten more serious.”

“Okay?” Celeste says. She doesn’t understand what the big deal is.

“He’s married,” Merritt says.

Celeste shakes her head. “I thought you learned your lesson with Travis Darling.”

“Travis was a predator,” Merritt says. “This guy I really like. The problem is… promise you won’t kill me?”

“Kill you?” Celeste says. She can’t figure out what Merritt is going to tell her.

“It’s your future father-in-law,” Merritt says. Her head falls forward but she turns to give Celeste a sidelong glance. “It’s Tag.”

Celeste is very proud of herself: She doesn’t scream. She doesn’t hop off her stool, leave the bar, and get back on the subway uptown. Instead, she sucks down the rest of her bloody mary and signals the bartender for another.

It’s Tag. Merritt and… Tag.

Celeste has been hanging out with Merritt for too long, she thinks, because she isn’t shocked. She can all too easily picture Merritt and Tag together. “Did it start when he took you to the wine dinner?”

“A little before that,” Merritt says. “I noticed him checking me out the Friday night of your bachelorette weekend while we were out front waiting for the taxi. And so on Saturday morning, I did an exploratory mission to see if he was actually interested, and he was.”

“Have you slept with him?” Celeste asks. Tag is an attractive guy, and very alpha, which is how Merritt likes her men. But Celeste can’t imagine having sex with him. He’s older than her father.

“Are you really twenty-eight years old?” Merritt asks. “Of course I slept with him.”

“Ugh,” Celeste says. “I’m sorry, but—”

“I figured it would be a one-night stand,” Merritt says. “He asked for my number but I never thought he’d use it. But then, a week and a half later, he called me at two o’clock in the morning.”

“Oh, jeez,” Celeste says. Her mind starts traveling the predictable path: What is Tag thinking? He’s such a creep! Such a stereotypical male douchebag! Up until this very moment, Celeste had liked him. It’s heartbreaking to discover he’s preying on her friend, a woman the same age as his children. Does he do this all the time? He must! And what about Greer? Celeste would never have guessed she would ever have occasion to feel sorry for Greer Garrison, but she does now. She understands the biological impulse behind Tag’s actions: he is still virile, still seeking to spread his seed and propagate the species.

But come on!

“Come on!” Celeste says.

Merritt cringes at the outburst.

“Sorry,” Celeste says. She dives into the second bloody mary. “I’m sorry. I won’t judge you. But p-p-please, Merritt, you have to end it. Tomorrow. Or better still, t-t-tonight.”

“I don’t think I can,” Merritt says. “I’m in it. He’s got me. My birthday is next week and I asked him to take me away. I think he’s considering it.”

“You’re a g-g-grown woman,” Celeste says. She winces; her stutter is back. Of course it’s back! Celeste went from feeling relaxed to feeling like she just stepped off the Tilt-a-Whirl at the carnival with a stomach full of fried dough. “He hasn’t got you. You can exercise free will and walk away.”

“He’s all I think about,” Merritt says. “He’s in my blood. It’s like I’m infected.” The oysters arrive and Merritt absentmindedly douses half of them with hot sauce. “Do you have any idea what that feels like?”