The Penalty Box (Vancouver Wolves Hockey #3)(60)
*
In the morning, I drove Charlie to work before going to practice. She was polite but subdued with me, and I could literally feel her pulling away from me. I didn’t like the feeling, but I didn’t know what to do about it.
At work, because my eye was still swollen shut, they wouldn’t let me skate, but I was allowed to do dryland training with my trainer. I was in a shit mood and my face hurt like a son of a bitch. I couldn’t get it out of my head that Charlie felt like she needed to protect herself from me. I couldn’t even argue that statement. I invited her into a platonic arrangement and then tried to make it something more to suit me. I felt like a complete asshole. I understood where she was coming from and I respected her approach completely. So, when she asked me to back off, why did I feel a need to fix things and make it work between us again?
I caught up with Ryan in the locker room.
I sat down beside him. “So, what would you do if you were in the doghouse?”
He gave me a mild glance. “You in trouble?”
I leaned my head back against the wall. “No. I want to do something nice for Charlie but I can’t think of anything.”
He looked thoughtful. “You could buy her something for Christmas.”
I groaned. Christmas wasn’t my forte. “Like what?”
“Maybe get her something special for your tree.”
“We don’t have a tree.”
He gave me a look that told me I was a dumb fuck. “Chicks dig Christmas stuff.”
“You saying I need to get her a tree?”
He shrugged as he took off his shoulder pads. “I have an SUV. I could help you buy a tree.”
*
Two hours later, we were trying to tie the biggest fucking tree in the lot to the top of his SUV. He grunted as he pulled his end further onto the roof.
“If this scratches my roof, I’m going to hurt you.”
“It’s heavier than it looks.” I pushed the tree towards him, cringing as I heard branches scrape against the paint.
“Dude, the guy warned us that this tree was ten feet tall.”
“Charlie deserves the best.” That was pretty much how I felt about everything Charlie. She was my wife, and I felt this need to give her everything I knew she wouldn’t dream of asking for. Including the biggest tree on the lot.
Ryan’s laughing expression caught my eye. “You have it bad.”
“Define have it bad.”
“You have feelings for her,” he accused. “Like real emotions that make you do things you’d never do.”
I paused. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
“Ha.” He pointed at me. “I knew it.”
“I just said, I don’t know what I am feeling.”
“Which is guy code for feeling things you can’t define, so you are making over-the-top gestures to articulate them.”
“She’s scared of getting hurt by me.” It pained me to say those words out loud, but I needed some guidance.
“You’re high-risk.” Ryan finished tying his side of the tree. He looked at me over the roof. “No offense.”
“I’m a good guy.”
“Didn’t say you weren’t, but you have to see things from Charlie’s point of view. She doesn’t want to fall for someone that will not get invested.”
“I’m invested.”
“For how long?”
I glared at him. “How the fuck do you know all this?”
“Chicks talk.”
I blinked in surprise. “Charlie told Zoey all that?”
“I think Zoey reads between the lines, but yeah. That about sums it up.”
This issue wasn’t new to me. Charlie had all but said the same thing last night. The issue was I didn’t know how to fix it. “I don’t know how to make this right.”
“Give her what she wants.”
I was almost certain she wanted a future with me. I could never make a promise like that to her, not when I didn’t think I could keep it. “I can’t.”
He sighed and looked over the tree that hung over the edges of his vehicle. “Well, then keep on buying her big-ass trees and see if that keeps you in the game until you can.”
*
While chain-smoking from the deck, my mom supervised us as we set up the tree in the living room. The entire room smelled like fresh pine, and the tree looked majestic in the corner near the fireplace.
“Now what?” I stood back, my hands on the hips.
Ryan laughed and picked up Sasha, who was biting a low branch on the tree. “You get decorations. And lights.”
I looked at my mom. “Want to help me with that?”
“Isn’t it enough that I’m here?” she shot back, only partially joking.
Ryan made eye contact. “You also need to get gifts. Lots of gifts.”
My mind was already thinking about all the gifts I could buy Charlie. “That will not be an issue.”
*
I spent the afternoon shopping for Christmas gifts and tree decorations. I ended up buying enough lights and trinkets to cover five trees. I hid everything in the trunk and waited for her to come out of the office.