The Passenger (The Passenger, #1)(73)

Western smiled. I dont remember that I did all that much damage.

Maybe not. But I remember you gettin back up off the floor when a lot of guys might not have.

Sheer ignorance.

Anyway, mostly it’s just that you’re a fucking puzzle.

I am.

Yeah. You.

That’s what Sheddan says.

Well. Probably Sheddan would know.

And you’re not.

Hell, Bobby. I provide more entertainment than ten of you. Straight as you are I dont see how you even know half the crazy motherfuckers you hang with. You want a beer?

Sure.

You ought to smoke this cigar.

Let me have it.

Borman handed him the cigar and then held up one hand for the waitress.

It’s not education. Sheddan’s got a pretty good education. Damn good, for that matter. But there’s things about you that are not true for him or me. Or Red.

For instance.

Maybe it’s just that people will say things about you that they wont say to you.

Bad things?

No. Just things that might be true about you. Do you think you can learn all there is to know about yourself from yourself?

No. I dont think that.

The waitress brought the beers. Western took the book of matches from the ashtray and lit the cigar. He shook out the match. You dont think there are things about Long John that people say behind his back?

Not really. I think for the most part they cant wait to get the news to him.

So give me an example.

Of what.

Of something that somebody has said about me. You dont have to spare my feelings.

Hell, Bobby. I dont give a fuck about your feelings.

How did we get on this subject?

I dont know.

Is it because you dont think we’ll see each other again?

I dont think that. All right. Here’s one. That you’d get out of the shower to take a leak.

Is that so bad?

I didnt say it was bad.

Who said it?

I did.

Why wont you call your mother?

I aint got a telephone.

There’s a payphone on the wall back there by the restroom.

I’ll call her, Bobby.

I wish I could call mine.

I’m an end of the roader, Bobby. I always was. Maybe I just didnt know it.

What do you think is out there?

Borman shook his head.

Well?

Have you looked around lately, Son? What do you think is coming? Christmas? You cant even hire mourners anymore. After a while they’ll figure out a way to just dissolve you. Your brain shuts down and the next thing you know there’s only a pair of shoes and some laundry piled up on the sidewalk.

You surprise me. This is your last port of call?

Probably. Maybe not. Too soon old and too late smart. You dont know anything till it gets here. You told me once that maybe the end of the road has nothing to do with the road. Maybe it doesnt even know there’s been a road. You ready?

Western drained his beer and put the burning cigar in the ashtray. He picked up the change and left a tip and stood.

They walked out and stood at the curb. You go ahead, said Borman. I’m not goin back.

You want me to come and get you later?

Nah. I’m all right. I’m goin to go see my widow woman.

Is this something serious?

Not really. She’s what you might call an older woman. But she’s a cheerful soul. Always up for a good old roughhouse fuck.

How old is she?

Seventy-three.

Damn, Borman.

Borman grinned. I’m just fucking with you, Bobby. I dont know how old she is. Forty, maybe. Redhead. Meanern a snake.

He gripped the cigar in his teeth and looked off down the street. He scratched at his beard. I appreciate you comin out, Bobby. Tell Dogdick I’m still alive and still crazy.

Let me ask you something.

Sure.

Suppose you were in trouble and you just had two quarters. Would you call me or would you call Sheddan?

Yeah. You got a point.

How are you going to get back out to the trailer?

She’s got a car.

And then what?

And then nothing.

What are you going to do for groceries?

She’ll get me some stuff.

I can let you have a few bucks.

You sure?

Sure.

All right. I aint proud.

Western peeled off two hundred dollars and handed it to him.

Thanks Bobby.

What are you going to do?

I dont know. Wait.

For what?

I dont know.

When will you know?

When it gets here.

You know, I dont believe I could live like you’re living.

Yeah. Well, wait till you have to.

Sheddan said that he saw you in New Orleans about a year ago with a really big girl. Is this her?

No. That was Jackie.

What happened to her?

The hot weather came and I had to let her go. She was a full axehandle across the ass. Besides which when the mood came over her she could have the disposition of a pitbull on angeldust.

So what was the attraction.

She was an interesting woman. It didnt hurt that she gave the best head of any woman I ever knew. But she was interesting. You couldnt tell what she was goin to do. I like that in a woman. She gave me a blowjob in a phonebooth on Bourbon Street one night. One of them that’s only glass from about the waist up? I had to pretend like I was talkin on the phone. People walking by. Then I thought what the fuck. So I called John Sheddan and told him I was getting a blowjob in a phonebooth.