The Party Crasher(79)

  “Such happy times.” Dad takes another deep swig of wine. “Happy, happy times. Happiest time of my life, maybe.”

  What?

  What did Dad just say? I’m transfixed as I stare at his oblivious face. Happiest time of his life?

  I can feel my crumpled, beaten heart slowly starting to puff out again.

  “Bean, you were right.” Dad suddenly turns to her. “Effie should be here. I’m sure she had her reasons for refusing to come, and I know she’s very stubborn, but—” He breaks off, his face a little bleak. “I do wish she’d changed her mind. It should be all of us here today.”

  “She’s a woman scorned, Tony,” says Lacey knowingly. “Nothing more determined than a woman scorned.”

  “For the last time, it’s nothing to do with Humph!” erupts Bean in exasperation. “It’s because she wasn’t bloody invited!”

  “Of course she was invited,” says Dad, looking perplexed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Bean.”

  “Now, as I said before, there was a small misunderstanding,” chimes in Krista smoothly. “I sent her invitation out late—I told you that, Tony. A simple mistake, but she took umbrage. But, then, she hadn’t set foot in this house for weeks before that, so…no surprise there!” She gives a short laugh. “Anyone need topping up?”

      “It wasn’t just late!” says Bean, her face pink. “It was a passive-aggressive anti-invitation. It made her feel unwanted. Dad, didn’t you see the so-called invitation Effie got?”

  “I…” Dad glances uncertainly at Krista. “Well, Krista kindly took care of those arrangements….”

  “You didn’t see it!” Bean sounds incredulous. “You didn’t check. You have no idea what’s been going on in your own family! We can’t get through to you, Dad! We can’t talk to you! No wonder Effie didn’t come! I nearly didn’t come myself! And Krista?” She swivels round. “You’re a big fat liar, because you didn’t email Effie whatever bullshit you said last night. You didn’t beg her to come. That’s bollocks!”

  There’s a kind of general gasp, and Lacey puts a hand over her mouth, as though she’s watching a bullfight.

  “Maybe I typed an email and never sent it,” replies Krista crisply. “My mistake. But really! All this fuss over nothing! I sent Effie a perfectly nice, personal invitation. If she’d wanted to be here, she’d be here. She chose to stay away. Her choice.” Krista lifts her chin pugnaciously.

  “You say she felt unwanted?” Dad stares at Bean as though this makes no sense to him.

  “Yes!”

  There’s silence. Dad seems absolutely staggered, and I gaze at him through the leaves in disbelief. How does he expect me to feel? What does he think has been going on all this time? Doesn’t he realize how hurt I’ve been?

      I’m mouthing my thoughts aloud, my heart beating faster and faster with righteous indignation. And suddenly, as I see myself, I flush with humiliation. What’s happened to me? What am I doing? Hiding behind a bush, talking to myself, clutching on to all my grievances. When I should be…what?

  Tackling them, says a small voice in my head. Dealing with them. I’m as bad as Gus was with Romilly, I realize, with a flare of shame. Avoiding the issue instead of taking action. Gus hid behind his work; I’m hiding behind a bush. But it’s the same. You can’t fix something if you’re hiding from it.

  Maybe I don’t understand where Dad’s coming from. And maybe he doesn’t understand where I’m coming from. But we’ll never work it out until we start a conversation. Even if it’s awkward. Even if it’s painful. Even if I have to make the first move.

  But…what can I do? How can I even begin? Should I just stand up behind this bush?

  The idea petrifies me. Maybe I’ll just wait a moment longer. Plus, I’m desperate to hear more of this conversation.

  “Bean, why didn’t you mention this before?” Dad is saying now. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I tried!” she explodes. “The minute Effie told me about the invitation, I called you. I left messages…I tried everything! But I couldn’t get through! I’ve tried calling you so many times this week, but Krista always answered and fobbed me off.”

  “He was busy!” Krista lashes back defensively. “Tony, you told me you were too busy to talk to the children! I was following instructions.”

      “I couldn’t even talk to you properly at the party. Nor could Gus.” Bean shakes her head disbelievingly. “It’s as if you’ve been avoiding us. And then Effie said, ‘Don’t bring it up.’ But it needed to be brought up.” Bean comes to a halt, then draws breath again and speaks more calmly. “Effie wasn’t being stubborn, Dad. She was hurt.”

  Immediately, my brain tries to play fair with this comment. If I’m absolutely honest, I was being quite stubborn. But I was also hurt. And I think that finally, finally, Dad is getting this. I can see it in his face. I can see him processing it. His eyes are distant and he keeps wincing as though with realization. Is he only just now putting it all together? What planet has he been on?