The Paid Bridesmaid(58)

He seemed to be considering my offer as he tore open a packet of ketchup, adding it to his burger. “I could always use another friend. Can’t you?”

I nodded. Someone to hang out with and talk to and not kiss no matter how much you wanted to? There was room in my life for that. Regardless of how torturous I found it.

Because the other options weren’t acceptable. “Just so long as you understand that we’re the kind of friends whose shirts don’t accidentally slide off?”

He looked far too amused. “But what if my buttons just spontaneously come undone?”

“They won’t,” I instructed him in a determined voice. My heart couldn’t take it. I would go up in flames. Ones that reached to the moon.

“Are you sure? Stranger things have happened.” He took a bite of his burger and then swallowed it down. “And please know that if your shirt was to accidentally slide off, I don’t have any objections to that.”

Whew, I knew that he was teasing but that silky tone of his made my skin feel heated. “Thanks for the update.”

“Any time. And don’t worry. I promise to remember that we’re only good buddies.”

Even though it had been my decision, his words felt vaguely disappointing. There was a decent amount of space between us and I imagined climbing over our food and telling him I’d been wrong about that silly friend thing. I needed to change the subject. “So earlier today, what was with Irene being worried about stuff going wrong at weddings?”

I grabbed a bunch of fries, needing to sublimate this desire I felt for him with greasy, delicious food.

“Oh, easy,” he said. “Dan used to date Satan and I think Irene’s afraid she might try to wreck the wedding.”

I stopped midchew. “What?”

“Her actual name is Lilith.”

“Like . . . the woman from mythology who was the mother of demons?” When he nodded I asked, “Why do parents do stuff like that?”

He finished off the last of his burger in a single bite, and I found it impressive. “It was an old family name. Anyway, she made his life miserable. She was always accusing him of cheating on her and he had to constantly prove himself by buying her gifts he couldn’t afford. He was deep in debt for a long time. She kept demanding more and more stuff and he couldn’t see that she was using him until one day he finally woke up.”

“What pushed him to end things with this delightful-sounding creature?”

“Dan wants kids, and she’d spent years telling him that she wanted a family, too. During a fight she finally admitted that she’d lied and never planned on having children and that was it.”

“Obviously it’s her choice whether or not she wants a family, but she definitely shouldn’t have lied to him for years.” She’d tricked him and led Dan on. I ate my last french fry and started eyeing Camden’s. While I didn’t share food, I wondered if my new friend was amenable. “Don’t tell my mom, but I want to have kids, too. Like, six of them. My own little basketball team.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell her.”

It took me a second to register that he actually could snitch on me and it was another layer of weirdness added to everything else that was happening. “What about you?”

“I definitely picture myself being a dad. I’ve thought about how nice it would be to have people in my life who were related to me. I miss that.”

His words made me ache for him, that he didn’t have relatives. It must be so hard; I couldn’t even imagine. Then that sympathy turned to an odd kind of joy, that he would want to have children. I had to remind myself that his words had no bearing on me or my future life.

Then, as if she somehow sensed that hypothetical grandchildren were being discussed, my mother called. I couldn’t let her know what was happening.

“You have to be quiet,” I told him, very stern in my warning. I shifted my tone as I picked up and said brightly, “Hi, Mom!”

His eyes got comically large and he mouthed, “It’s your mom?” He held out his palms, moving his fingers back and forth like he wanted me to hand my phone to him. Fat chance.

“Hi, sweetheart! How are things going?”

I glanced over at Camden. My mother would have a coronary if she could see that he was here. “Good. I’m just getting ready for bed.”

“I was calling to see if any progress had been made. How’s Camden?”

His eyes lit up and he started to speak. I clamped my hand down over his mouth.

“Fine, I guess.”

He mumbled something against my hand and I tried not to think about how soft and warm his lips were on my skin. I had to close my eyes against the sensation.

My mom was talking, but I wasn’t registering anything that she was saying.

“Sounds great, Mom. I need to get going. I’ve got sunrise yoga and need to get to bed. I’ll call you later!” I hung up the phone and waited a moment to see if she’d call back. When she didn’t, I slowly moved my hand away from Camden.

“That wasn’t funny,” I told him.

“It was from my perspective,” he said, still clearly enjoying himself. “Your mom likes me.”

“That’s not really saying much. My mom likes anyone who has the potential to impregnate me.” These words were out of my mouth before I could wish them back inside my head, because it brought back that thick, weighted feeling. Where we were both feeling something, but I had to deny that it was happening.