The Other Woman(26)

‘That’s it. Now Emily, give me your glass.’

I did as I was told, and stood waiting to be directed into place, embarrassed by the quiet that was now descending over the drawn-out proceedings.

She stood back to check that everybody was in place. ‘Okay Toby, you move a little bit across so I can squeeze in the middle. There you go.’

She turned and handed me the phone with a quick, ‘Thanks, Emily,’ before running into the frame, pasting on her best smile. ‘Say cheese!’

A heat that started at the very tips of my toes worked its way up my body, like a rush of lava erupting from a volcano. Every inch of me tingled and my stomach lurched. The tell-tale pull at the back of my throat told me that tears were imminent, but I fought them back down, blinking furiously to stem the flow. I quickly turned my back on the other guests so that they couldn’t see the humiliating redness creeping up my neck. I tried to smile, to pretend that I would never have expected to be in the ‘family’ photo. After all, I reasoned, I’m not family, so it’s no big deal. Except it was, and it really hurt.

I looked at Adam on the back row, all smiles as I took the photo, with not a care in the world, and I felt my heart break in two.

‘Okay, so where was I?’ asked Adam, resuming his place behind the microphone.

I quickly lost myself in the watching crowd.

‘Yes, yes,’ persisted Adam over the din. ‘Quieten down. I’ve got something important to say.’

The crowd hushed.

‘So, now I’m thirty, I’ve got to be all grown up and mature.’

‘That’ll never happen,’ shouted Deano, another teammate, from the back.

‘A-ha, you’d be surprised, my friend. So, first, I’d like to thank you all for coming. It means the world to me to have you all here. I’m especially chuffed that my cousin Frank flew over from Canada just to be here tonight.’

The crowd cheered, and more backslapping ensued.

‘I’d also like to thank my beautiful girlfriend, Emily, for putting up with me and just being amazing. Em, where are you?’

I felt a hand on my back pushing me forward, but I kept my gaze down and feebly stuck a hand in the air to show where I was.

‘Come on Em, come out here.’

I shook my head, but the pressure on my back was mounting, propelling me forward, when all I wanted to do was to go further back, into the shadows, where Pammie obviously believed I belonged.

I thought the very cheeks of me would explode with the heat trapped beneath them as I walked towards him. I could see James standing on the far side of the semi-circle that had been naturally created by bodies. Pippa was standing beside him. There was still no sign of a girl in a blue dress.

Every pore on my torso felt blocked, as if I was cooking from the inside, with no extractor fan to cool me down. I looked back to Pippa’s concerned face, as she slowly mouthed, ‘Arrre yooou oookkkaaay?’ I gave her a small nod as I took Adam’s hand, and fixed a smile onto my face.

‘This woman here is my reason for living. She makes the good days even better and the bad days go away.’

A mist descended over my eyes, making everything blurry, but I could just make out Mum staring out from the circle, wide-eyed.

Adam turned to look at me. ‘Honestly, I adore you. I couldn’t live without you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’

Embarrassed, I ruffled his hair in an attempt to lighten the situation and get the spotlight away from me. But then he dropped down onto one knee.

The ahhs turned to short, clipped gasps as I struggled to keep my vision steady. What the hell? Is he doing what I think he’s doing, or is this a big joke? I looked around at all the pensive faces peering their heads into the bubble I’d created around me. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, as if I was watching myself from outside my body. Adam’s voice sounded as if he was under water and, all the time, the inane grins and wide eyes kept getting closer and closer. All except one, whose face, crumpled with grief, seemed to get further and further away.

‘Will you please do me the honour of being my wife?’ Adam said, one knee still on the ground.

I can’t remember exactly when the whoops of joy turned to screams of horror. But I know I had a square-cut solitaire diamond on my finger by the time I was stroking Pammie’s hair as she lay on the beer-sodden floor.

Adam was kneeling beside us, holding his mother’s hand, and James was pacing the floor, telling the ambulance where to find us.

‘Please hurry,’ I heard him shout. ‘She’s out cold.’

It had all happened so fast that my brain couldn’t process it. I’d lost the ability to put things in the order that they were occurring, no longer able to determine what was real and what I’d imagined in my head. Had Adam just asked me to marry him? Did Pammie really collapse? The edges between reality and make-believe were becoming more and more blurred with every passing second.

‘Mum, Mum,’ Adam was saying over and over again. His voice becoming more animalistic with each frantic call.

Her head moved ever so slightly and she murmured her confusion.

‘Mum,’ Adam called out again. ‘Oh, thank God. Mum, can you hear me?’

She didn’t answer, her eyes just flickered open before closing again.

‘Mum, it’s James. Can you hear me?’