The Other Woman(18)

I looked at Adam and he offered a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

James laughed and I felt I should look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me and didn’t know where to direct my gaze.

‘Maybe I should get my welly boots on and start shovelling manure with you, bro,’ said Adam, returning what I now saw as a patronizing pat of James’s shoulder. Funny, it hadn’t looked like that when James did it to Adam. I chastised myself for encouraging sibling rivalry; having a brother myself, I should know better.

James toyed with an errant sprout with his fork.

‘So, do you live locally?’ I asked, desperate to dispel the atmosphere that had flooded the room.

He nodded. ‘I’ve got a casual agreement with a guy a few villages away. He lets me a lodge on his estate in return for keeping the gardens neat and tidy.’

‘Trouble is, it’s this lass’s father,’ added Pammie.

I pulled a face and looked at him. ‘Ah, I see.’

‘It’s complicated,’ he said, as if to justify himself. ‘Another fine mess I’ve got myself into.’

I smiled. ‘So, how’s the horticultural business? Keeping you busy?’ I didn’t think it was my place to make conversation, but both Pammie and Adam were on mute, preferring instead to devour their dinner.

‘I love what I do,’ he said, with real conviction. ‘And, as people who love what they do often say, it’s a vocation, not a job.’

‘Ah, I used to say that when I was working in a shoe shop,’ I said. ‘All those poor feet needing help and assistance. I would have done it for nothing, such was my passion.’

His face broke into a wide grin, his gentle eyes not leaving mine. ‘You’re one of life’s true warriors. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.’ He held a hand to his chest and, for a moment, it felt like we were the only people there. The sound of Pammie and Adam’s knives and forks scraping their plates clean brought me back into the room.

‘Excuse me for a second,’ I said, rising from the table and pushing my chair back.

I’d eaten all I could manage, and my body was beginning to fight back, my intestines gripping and twisting. I didn’t know whether I was more panicked by that or the unsettled feeling that James had created in me. I was sure no one else had noticed, so did that mean I’d imagined it? I sincerely hoped so.

Once we’d cleared the table and tidied away in the kitchen, I waited until Pammie and James were out of earshot before leaning into Adam.

‘Do you fancy a walk?’ I asked him quietly.

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘I’ll get my coat.’

‘Where are you off to?’ Pammie asked Adam in the hall. ‘You’re not heading off, are you?’ There was panic in her voice. ‘I thought you were staying.’

‘We are, Mum. We’re just going for a stroll, to work off that delicious dinner.’

‘We?’ she asked. ‘What, you mean Emily’s staying as well?’

‘Of course. We’ll stay for the night and go home tomorrow after breakfast.’

‘Well, where is she going to sleep?’ her voice was quieter now.

‘With me,’ he declared.

‘Oh, I don’t think so, son. Young James is here as well. There’s not enough room.’

‘Well then, James can sleep on the sofa, and Emily and I will take the spare bedroom.’

‘You can’t be sleeping together in this house,’ she said, her voice wobbling. ‘That’s not right. It’s disrespectful.’

Adam laughed nervously. ‘Mum, I’m twenty-nine years old. It’s not like we’re teenagers.’

‘I don’t care how old you are. You’re not sleeping together under my roof. It wouldn’t be right. Anyways, Emily said she was staying in a hotel tonight.’

What? It was a good job I was still in the kitchen as it took all my resolve not to shove the tea towel in my mouth and bite down on it. At what point did I say I was staying in a hotel?

‘Emily was never going to go to a hotel, Mum,’ Adam said. ‘That wouldn’t make sense.’

‘Well, that’s what she told me on the phone,’ she said indignantly. ‘If she’s going to stay here, she can sleep on the sofa. You and James can sleep in the spare room.’

‘But Mum . . .’ started Adam. I walked into the hall to see her hand in the air, her palm just a few centimetres away from his face.

‘There are no buts. That’s the way it’s going to be, whether you like it or not. If you loved me and respected me, you wouldn’t have even asked.’ The tears began to flow then, slowly and quietly at first, but when Adam didn’t go to her, the sobs became louder. I stood there dumbfounded, silently willing him to stand strong. When her shoulders started to heave, Adam took hold of her and held her to him. ‘Ssh, it’s okay, Mum. Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. That’s fine. Of course it is.’

‘I never said—’ I started, before Adam’s eyes told me to stop.

‘Whatever you’d like us to do,’ he said soothingly, rocking her back and forth like a baby.

He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders apologetically, as if to say, ‘what more can I do?’ I turned away from him as he went up the stairs.