The Midnight Lie (The Midnight Lie #1)(55)

“What if I never want one?” I said.

He waved a dismissive hand. “All women want children at some point. You’ll make a wonderful mother. Our babies will have your beautiful green eyes.”

“Aden, I came here to tell you that I’m leaving the Ward.” I explained quickly, my voice rising as though I were trying to talk over him, but he was silent, face growing stony with displeasure.

“A month,” he repeated. “In the High quarter. With that foreign woman.”

“It’s the chance of a lifetime.”

He shook his head, looking out a window at the wall. In the sun it looked as white as salt. “You already think you’re too good for me.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I just asked you to marry me, and it’s like I said nothing at all. Can you imagine how that feels? Gods, Nirrim, why don’t you think about someone other than yourself for once?”

That felt unfair, but I couldn’t explain why, especially when his accusation sounded reasonable. I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew what it was like to want someone who didn’t want me back. I would feel so wounded, so small if I were him. “I’m sorry,” I said, and meant it.

“Have you even rationally considered this? You will be completely at that woman’s mercy.”

“She’s not a monster. She just needs a servant.”

“And out of all the people in this city, she chooses you. Isn’t that odd?”

I felt my jaw get tight and stubborn. “No.”

“Think, Nirrim. She can cast you into prison with one word.”

So can you, I thought.

Aden said, “What will happen when she tries to make you do something you don’t want to do?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, though I knew exactly what he meant.

“I saw how she looked at you.”

My face flushed again, this time with shame for how much I wished he were right. “You’re mistaken.”

“The High Kith have no morals. All they care about is decadence. Nothing matters except what they want. Wait and see. She will try to use you.”

I want her to, I almost said. Then I saw, as clearly as a god’s prophecy, everything that would happen after. His look of horror, maybe even hate. The disgusted words that would fall from his mouth. I saw how he would see me, which would be how other people would see me, too. It filled me with fear. I reached for him and kissed him hard and deep, my hands in his hair, his chest flat against mine. “Don’t worry,” I murmured into his mouth.

“Of course I worry.” He stroked hair from my face. “You’ll have no one to protect you in the High quarter. If you step out of line with that woman … Nirrim, even if it’s something small—a ribbon crookedly tied, a disobedient look—she can have you punished in ways you can’t even imagine.”

She could have me thrown into prison with the slightest word. Sid, who hedged around questions like they might expose some enormous secret. Sid, who had already shown that she could be unkind, as she had been toward Raven. No soldier, no judge would believe a Half Kith over someone of her status. Cold worry seeped into me.

Aden must have seen it. His expression grew comforting. He touched my lips with one finger. “I have an idea.” He left me and disappeared into another room. He returned with a small paper packet in his hand.

“What is that?” I asked.

“Poison.”

The blood drained from my face. “I’m not going to use that on her.”

“It’s gentle. Whoever takes it will fall into a long sleep and never wake up.”

“Aden, I don’t want this. This isn’t necessary. She is not a threat. You’re acting like she is a villain in a story.”

“And what about the rest of the High Kith? You think you will be safe among them? All of them? Take it, for my sake. So I know you have something to protect you when I can’t be there.”

Uneasily, I slipped the packet into my dress pocket.

“Maybe it will be good for you to disappear from the Ward for a month,” he said. “If you’re not here, the militia can’t question you. They are still going door to door, asking about the night of the moon festival, and that soldier’s murder.” He saw me twitch at the word murder. “Don’t worry, Nirrim. This will all blow over. There is no proof the man didn’t just fall to his death.”

“Except the testimony of your friend.”

“Let me deal with him.” He kissed me again. “Nirrim, I want you to miss me.”

I took a breath. “I will miss you. And I’ll return with enough money for us to start a life together.”

His smile was broad. “Is that a yes? Are you saying yes, you will marry me?”

I swallowed hard. Sid would leave this city and I would stay. It was so easy to disappoint Raven. What if she tired of me? What home would I have then? Aden was ready to be with me always. “Yes,” I said, and meant it.

Although all the other girls thought he was the best boy in the Ward, I knew he was the best I could do.

He picked me up and whirled me around the room.



* * *



As I approached Sid, who stood outside the gate to the Middling quarter, she made a show of taking a little gold watch out of her pocket. It was a man’s watch, to match her man’s clothes. She opened the watch and widened her eyes in comic disbelief at the time she saw there. She squinted at the watch, looked at me, looked back at her watch, letting her full mouth part in mock outrage.