The Marriage Debt (De Vos Mafia #2)(33)

My entire body quivers from the memory alone.

“I know you remember,” he says. “And I know you’ve thought about it. About my fingers there, between your legs. The handle of my knife inside your pussy. My hands on your body, my tongue licking your skin.”

My lips shudder as his are so dangerously close to mine I can almost taste them.

“You know you liked it,” he murmurs.

I have to do something, say something. I have to stop this before he … kisses me.

Before he breaks me.

“Because you still had a sliver of humanity back then,” I reply. “But now? Nothing.”

He leans back, the look on his face turning darker and darker until nothing’s left of that lust I felt seconds ago. Something in his eyes has changed. Like he suddenly remembers how much he should hate me.

“I’m just another girl to you, another girl you can fuck, just like all the others before me. You never wanted me. You just crave what you can’t have,” I add. “But my heart will never be yours.”

A nail to the coffin as his eyes begin to twitch and his grip on my chin vanishes.

“You’re wrong,” he says through gritted teeth.

As violent as he barged into the room before, he pushes himself off the wall and marches out of the bathroom with soaked clothes, leaving me hot and naked underneath the pouring water.

God.

I was this close.





Chapter 14





Luca



* * *



After locking her in the room, I storm back to the living room. Nothing can quench the fire raging inside. With a loud roar, I thrust my fist into the statue of the naked woman I bought two years ago. A piece of her tit breaks off, but I don’t even fucking care.

The pain in my knuckles is sharp, but I bite through it. Pain is the only way I know how to deal with my anger, how we were taught to deal with it.

If I’ve known one thing for a very long time, it’s that my family’s way of dealing with emotions was anything but healthy.

But we don’t choose our family.

We only choose how we react.

And I reacted by bringing in as much distraction as I could. Cigarettes, liquor, drugs, possessions. Women.

Anything I could get my hands on, especially during my younger years.

Back when we both still lived with our parents, and Jill only saw glimpses of my life.

Glimpses of a guy addicted to the temporary buzz.

But that’s just the surface. She never saw what was underneath.

What truly lies hidden in this wretched, shriveled-up heart of mine.



Three years ago, age 18



* * *



“Is that the girl you texted?” Jill asks.

“Yeah, so?” I reply, taking the girl’s coat. I grab her hand and drag her with me. “C’mon, Gillian. Let’s go.”

“What?” Jill frowns as I pull her toward the stairs. “I thought you were supposed to—”

“You have Jasmine now. Entertain yourself,” I retort.

“You know what our parents—”

“I don’t care,” I interject, barking a little too harshly, which makes her sink into her seat. Still, I can’t get over the sour look on her face, and it pisses me off even more.

“You want to come lie in my bed too?” I ask, letting my tongue run along my lips.

Her eyes widen and twitch as she tries to hide her shame. “No, no, no. No, thank you.”

Entertain them. That’s what my parents told my brother and me when the Baas family came back to our home after our dinner party at a restaurant.

But when my brother went upstairs with Jasmine and left me alone with Jill, I should’ve known it would get too hot underneath my feet.

So I called Gillian over for a hookup. Big fucking deal.

Fuck Jill and that golden horse she rode in on.

Gillian runs up the stairs behind me, giggling loudly. The second we get to my room, I lock the door, and she’s immediately on me like my lips are made of honey. But her kisses are raw, harsh, like a girl desperate to swallow, and it’s making me want to shove her away.

“What the fuck was that for?” she snarls.

“Nothing. Just calm the fuck down.” I roll my eyes and walk to my bed to sit down, but the girl immediately follows me and throws her legs on mine, grabbing my face to lick my earlobe, and I fucking hate it.

But why? Why the fuck can’t I enjoy myself and this random girl I invited over?

I asked her to come. I wanted someone to fuck.

But then why can’t I enjoy it like I should?

I’m a De Vos, for crying out loud. We don’t play fair, and we fuck whoever we damn well want to. So then why is something bothering me so much?

I close my eyes and fall onto the bed. With my eyes closed, all I see is the image of a pretty blond girl dancing in front of me, seductive lips pursed, ready for the taking, her innocent eyes luring me in, begging me to come take her cherry.

Jill.

My eyes burst open, and I sit up straight in bed.

“What’s wrong?” Gillian asks as she sits up too and throws her arms around my neck.

“Nothing,” I say, glancing at her over my shoulder, wondering if I’m losing my shit because there’s a beautiful girl right here with me, and all I can think about is someone else.