The Magnolia Story(54)
We carved out certain hours each day that we needed to set aside for family and business and insisted we would never travel more than thirty minutes outside of the Waco area for our renovation projects. We needed to be home for our kids, and their needs were going to come first as much as humanly possible.
We did try to be flexible, of course, knowing they were spending a lot of money to shoot this show and paying that whole professional crew who showed up in Waco with all of their equipment and trucks and union rules. So some compromise seemed in order. But we’ve still tried to stick to our ground rules as much as possible, even after the show took off and we knew it was a hit.
Honestly, we had no idea what we were in for.
No idea at all. The pilot alone earned big ratings when they aired it in May of 2013.
Everyone at the network got pretty excited.
But once the first episode of the series aired in April of 2014, the show just took off. I mean, took off like wildfire. Suddenly we were being recognized even when we left Waco. People were stopping us in stores and coming up to us at restaurants. I didn’t know so many people watched HGTV. And I couldn’t believe how many people had seen our show.
We still don’t own a TV, so the only way we knew when a show was on—if we didn’t go to a friend’s house to watch—was when our phones would blow up with texts of congratulations or when e-mails would begin streaming in from all over the country asking us to do remodels.
We started getting all sorts of interview requests, and folks were asking us to speak at their events or their churches. It was absolutely crazy. Overnight our lives were turned upside down.
I was just real thankful we had the peace and quiet of the farm to go back to at the end of every day. It really did become our sanctuary.
Our home became more important than it had ever been. As we said a little earlier, I think God knew that place was exactly what our family needed in this new season. I am just so grateful for so many of the things we accomplished and even the challenges we went through before we landed on TV. Truly, if we hadn’t gone through that whole journey together, I don’t know how Chip and I could ever keep up with the schedule or the pressures brought on by the wonderful opportunities that keep popping up in our lives.
When it comes to success, fame, money, and all those things people think they want in life, I think a lot of us tend to get it backward. This is one of the lessons I’m thankful for learning on the bumpy road we took before landing ourselves on TV.
Most people think that you start off not thriving. Then you get a TV show or some other amazing opportunity, you get fame, you get fortune, and then you thrive. That’s certainly what I thought earlier in my own life. But what’s interesting to me is that Chip and I got to a place where we were thriving—as a couple, as a family, as business partners—before any of this new success unfolded.
Our marriage never suffered in all we’ve gone through because Chip and I were drawn even closer together, knowing down deep in our hearts that we had to hold on to each other if we were ever going to make it out alive.
It was in the middle of all that struggle that I found my true inspiration as a designer—the very thing that so many people seem to be drawn to now that I’ve received this opportunity to share my work with the world.
I always thought that the “thriving” would come when everything was perfect, and what I learned is that it’s actually down in the mess that things get good.
It was such a blessing to find myself thriving in the middle of the pain. Unless you find a way to do that, there’s always going to be this fake illusion that once you get there—wherever “there” is for you—you’ll be happy. But that’s just not life. If you can’t find happiness in the ugliness, you’re not going to find it in the beauty, either.
I have learned that if you’re looking for perfection in your house, you can get it. But as soon as you have it, you’re going to sit on your couch and find you’re still unhappy. You’ll find yourself continuing to say, “What’s next? What now? What do I need to do?”
I worked hard to try to do it all, to try to live up to the Pinterest perfection that only leaves you discontented. I finally realized that life isn’t found on the pages of a magazine—life is found in the glass of spilled milk and in the long, narrow hallway filled with socks and soccer balls.
For the first four years of having kids, I threw elaborate birthday parties. I spent money we shouldn’t have spent. And then I realized that my two-year-olds didn’t even notice all the details I’d spent so much time and money on. All they wanted was cake! And I did all this for what? For me? To look impressive?
Now I make homemade cakes, I blow up balloons and we pop them. That’s all. Kids just want to be kids. They don’t obsess about all the details. What they might remember are all the silly faces mom makes when she blows up balloons and the taste of that homemade cake with sprinkles. That’s what they’ll remember. Not a picture-perfect party.
I had to learn the hard way. I had to go through those kind of “What is my intention behind these things?” questions. I had to go through that feeling that many moms get when the party is over and you’re exhausted and mad that you spent all the money before I could share this message with others.
Ready for it? Here it is.
Letting it all go is freeing. (And it’s cheaper too!)