The Lying Hours (How to Date a Douchebag #5)(23)

I can’t resist saying, I don’t have bedposts.

BlueAsTheSky: Too soon for jokes, bro.

Me: Did you just call me bro?

BlueAsTheSky: LOL it felt like the right moment.

Me: Indeed it did.

Me: Anyway. I’m glad you didn’t block me, because I feel like a dick about the way I acted tonight. I came from practice and was distracted, and that’s shitty but it’s the truth.

BlueAsTheSky: It’s fine.

I have a strange feeling if we were having an actual conversation about this, in person, she’d be saying It’s fine in a way that means it’s not fine at all—the way girls say it when they’re setting a trap and want to argue.

Bet her lips would be pursed. Chin tilted up.

I wonder what Skylar looks like in person, since I’ve only ever stared at the few photos she uploaded in the app. We haven’t sent selfies—I couldn’t even if I wanted to, since I’m pretending to be Jack.

BlueAsTheSky: No harm done. But I don’t think I want to see you again—sorry.

Me: I was that bad?

BlueAsTheSky: Yes, you were that bad.

What the hell did JB do on this date?

BlueAsTheSky: So, if there is nothing else you need…

She’s trying to give me the brushoff, but I’m not ready to let her go yet.

Me: There is no way I can make it up to you?

BlueAsTheSky: I don’t think so.

Me: What if…

I pause, not sure how to end the sentence.

BlueAsTheSky: What if…?

Me: What if we go out again, and I let you pick the place?

BlueAsTheSky: I don’t know, JB… I think we both need to move on. It was fun talking to you, but in person we have nothing in common.

She’s right; they have nothing in common and never will. Because Skylar is sweet and funny, and Jack is a complete douchebag with fucked-up priorities who isn’t ready to settle down with anyone, and certainly not someone like Blue.

What he wants right now is the physical gratification—not an emotional connection—that he isn’t getting in the weight room or in the middle of the wrestling mat.

Blue wants more, and she’ll never find it with my roommate.

So why won’t I let this go?

Give it a rest, Abe.

BlueAsTheSky: You know I’m right about this. It’s not like you were into me, either.

She couldn’t be more right, but I’m not going to insult her by agreeing.

BlueAsTheSky: There are better girls out there for you than me, someone who’s okay with a one-night stand and isn’t going to get her feelings hurt when you don’t message her the next day.

All very true.

Me: Maybe that’s not what I need right now.

God, what the hell am I saying.

Jack is going to kill me when he sees this.

BlueAsTheSky: Are you saying this because you hate the fact that I walked away from you? And not the other way around?

Me: No, that’s not it at all.

BlueAsTheSky: Then what is it? Because tonight you didn’t seem to care that I left before even ordering a drink.

Shit. She hadn’t even ordered anything?

How long was the date, fifteen minutes?

Me: I have a lot of pride, but not THAT much pride. I know when I’ve screwed up.

I do. Me, Abe.

I’m suddenly speaking for myself, not for my roommate, who almost always screws up but makes no apologies for his behavior.

Me? I can’t live like that. I’m always atoning for my sins and mistakes—though few and far between they may be.

I try not to be a dick.

BlueAsTheSky: Hmm.

Me: Is that a good hmm or a bad hmmm?

BlueAsTheSky: I’m thinking about it.

Hope springs up inside my chest, but I tamp it down—because even if she agrees to go out with me again, it’s going to be with Jack.

Unless…

Me: Do you have any single friends?

BlueAsTheSky: Yes…

BlueAsTheSky: Why?

Me: We could double date. I have a single roommate. Remember, he’s a tutor?

There’s a long pause before she responds, but that bubble continues to appear, disappear, and reappear.

BlueAsTheSky: Oh? Tell me more about this roommate of yours—do you have much in common?

Me: If you’re trying to find out if he’s a douchebag, the answer is no. He’s a pretty decent guy.

BlueAsTheSky: How so?

Me: The guys on the team call him Grandpa because he’s so responsible.

BlueAsTheSky: Why is he single?

I hate this question, as if being single is as bad as having a contagious disease. And far be it from me to point out that she is single, too, and not once have I asked why.

I wasn’t interested before.

But I am now.

Me: He studies a lot when he’s not practicing.

BlueAsTheSky: Practicing what?

Me: He’s a wrestler, too.

BlueAsTheSky: Hmmm

What the hell does that mean?

Me: But he’s quiet, doesn’t go out much.

BlueAsTheSky: Kind of like a hermit? What’s wrong with him?

Me: Nothing is wrong with him; he’s just not into partying and casual dating.

BlueAsTheSky: I see.

BlueAsTheSky: Will he talk, or is he gonna just sit there?

Me: He’ll talk, LOL—he’s not a mute.