The Love of My Life(71)

‘What did Emma say at the time?’ I ask. ‘What was her defence?’

Jeremy prevaricates. ‘Well, actually, she denied the charge of abduction. Claimed she was just watching him from the edge of the park. That he spotted her and came over for a few minutes; she did nothing to encourage it. Certainly, the magistrate believed her.’

A tiny crack of relief. ‘Well, I’m inclined to believe her, too,’ I say. ‘Emma wouldn’t just . . .’

Doubt swarms in before I can even finish the sentence. Emma is capable not of just small lies but fundamental deception. For starters, she was hiding in a bloody grove of trees, watching Charlie play without Janice’s knowledge. Who am I to say that’s not acceptable. That’s many miles from acceptable. Who am I to say she wasn’t planning to take him? That she didn’t try?

I look back at Jeremy. ‘What did you believe?’

He considers his response for a moment.

‘I also struggled to imagine her actually taking him,’ he admits. ‘But the fact is, Charlie disappeared for several minutes, and when Janice found him, he was next to the gate Emma exited by. That’s just too much of a coincidence for me. Especially given that she admitted to having covertly watched him and Janice several times in the preceding months.’

‘But if the magistrate believed she wasn’t trying to abduct him, why the restraining order?’

Jeremy’s face stills. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘Did you not just hear me tell you that Emma turned up to follow us five times in six months?’

He’s losing his temper. ‘Can you imagine how distressing that was? The abduction is neither here nor there. She harassed us.’

‘But if she was only trying to watch him, it seems a little harsh to—’

Jeremy interrupts. ‘Be careful,’ he says. ‘Be very careful, Leo.’

I apologise, but the atmosphere now hangs on a thread.

‘The whole thing was extremely stressful,’ Jeremy says. A tiny nerve pulses above his eye, visible only at close range. ‘Janice was destroyed by it all. But what makes it worse is that Emma started up again, four years ago. Harassing us.’

‘What?’

‘I met with her, after her cancer diagnosis, because she was afraid she would die without knowing Charlie. But I couldn’t – wouldn’t – just parachute her into Charlie’s life, no matter how grave her circumstances, which is why I said no. So she just turned up in Alnmouth one day, when the three of us were up there on holiday. Charlie was only fourteen at the time. Janice nearly lost her mind.’

I feel sick. ‘You mean – she tried to take him?’

‘No. He was at our house, thank God. Janice and I were out walking on the beach. She just came at us, over the rocks.’

I close my eyes. That time Emma didn’t come back from Northumberland on the agreed train. Her phone, switched off, worry growing with each passing minute. Eventually, I’d thought to phone Jill, who said Emma was at hers. I had had no reason to doubt this. I remember only the relief of knowing she was with her friend.

I tell Jeremy a little of what happened, that night, and ask if the dates sound about right. He nods. ‘Yes, that’s when it was.’ He looks out of the French windows, into the night garden. After a pause, he gets up and opens a cupboard, from which he takes a packet of crisps.

I didn’t expect Jeremy Rothschild to eat crisps. I’m not sure why. They’re Worcester sauce flavour, which I’m even more wrong-footed by. He offers me a packet, but I decline, so he sits back at the table and opens his.

‘They didn’t arrest or charge her, that time,’ he says, thoughtfully. ‘She apparently had enough evidence to suggest she was up in Alnmouth conducting some kind of informal marine survey. Crabs, I believe. But the police were called. Her friend Jill drove all the way up from London to bring her home.’

These lies. All these lies.

‘And after that?’

Jeremy shrugs, takes another crisp. ‘After that she left us alone again, and we had no contact until three weeks ago, when Janice disappeared. I got in touch with Emma to check she hadn’t spoken to Janice, she said she hadn’t, and, actually, I believed her. But Janice recently wrote Emma a letter, so I met Emma in Alnmouth to hand it over.’

‘You couldn’t post it to her?’

Jeremy shakes his head. ‘I wanted to talk to her again. I needed to look her in the eye and be certain she hadn’t been in touch with Janice.’ He takes a pinch of crisps and eats them all. ‘And if you’re wondering why Emma went all the way to Alnmouth to see me, it’s because she’s never given up hope that I might give her access to Charlie. She’s begged me again and again for a chance to meet him. I don’t think she’ll ever give up.’

I sit back in Jeremy’s dining chair. Thoughts churn slowly, quickly. Jeremy keeps eating.

‘But . . . Charlie must be eighteen now,’ I say slowly. ‘Surely Emma could just get in touch with him, if she wanted to?’

‘You’re right, she could. But she won’t. Not without an in from me.’

‘Why not?’

Jeremy finishes the crisps, and folds the packet into squares. He slides it under an empty coffee mug. I wonder how it must feel for him, knowing more about my wife – my life – than I do.