The Lost Man(38)

‘What are you doing?’

‘Nothing. This.’ He nodded at the screen. ‘You want to do two player?’

‘No, it’s all right.’

Nathan pulled his sleeping bag out from under Bub’s feet. ‘That’s my bed, you know.’

‘It’s mainly the couch, mate.’

Katy walked past the open door and returned a second later carrying a clean tea towel. Bub’s eyes followed her with raw longing.

‘I bloody love her.’ He heaved a dramatic sigh.

‘Oh yeah? What’s her last name?’

Bub grinned. ‘I dunno, but I can tell you what it’s going to be.’

Nathan had to smile. ‘I think you’re a bit late, mate. Looks like she’s spoken for.’

Bub’s face darkened a little. ‘It’s a bloody crime, great girl like her with a Pommy prick like him. He’s not even keeping her happy.’

‘How would you know?’

‘Does she look happy to you?’

‘Hadn’t really thought about it.’

‘I’d keep her happy,’ Bub said, with a meaningful nod in case Nathan had failed to fully grasp his intent.

‘Yeah, all right. Never mind that –’ Gunfire rang out on screen. ‘Listen, can you –’ Nathan reached over and paused the game.

‘What’s your problem?’ Then Bub’s annoyance faded as quickly as it arrived. ‘Is something wrong? Is it about Cam?’

‘No. Well, yeah, kind of. I wanted to talk to you. It’s –’ Nathan faltered. ‘I saw you last night.’

‘What? When?’ Bub’s eyes flicked to the doorway where Katy had been and his cheeks reddened. Nathan wondered what he was thinking.

‘Outside in the garden,’ he prompted.

Bub frowned.

‘Taking a slash on the gravesites?’

‘Oh, yeah.’ Bub actually laughed. ‘So?’

‘So what do you think you were doing?’

‘It was only on Dad’s. Like you’ve never done it.’

Nathan hadn’t, in fact. Possibly because he had never thought of it. ‘Do you –?’

‘Do I what, mate?’

‘Do you do that often?’

‘Time to time, whenever I’m passing and can muster it up.’

‘But . . . why?’

‘Nate, mate. Come on.’ Bub turned back to his game, nothing more to say.

It might never have occurred to Nathan to piss on a grave, but he knew Bub maybe had a little more incentive. The key with Carl Bright that you had to learn quick and early was to stay out of his way whenever you could and keep your head well down the rest of the time. Bub, born late, had never got the hang of it. Being an accidental baby was hardly his fault, but it hadn’t helped his cause. Liz had never once hinted that Bub’s arrival hadn’t been entirely welcome, twelve and ten years after his brothers, but Carl hadn’t bothered to hide it.

It might not have been so bad if Bub had followed Nathan, rather than Cameron, who Carl seemed to find the least offensive by some margin. But Bub’s slowness and his difficulty finding the right words had infuriated their dad. And Bub was completely unable to sense when it was happening. Nathan had tried to help him, showing him the signs to watch out for and growing frustrated himself when Bub didn’t get it. Cam had tried too, but it was no good. Bub literally couldn’t see it to save himself.

Nathan looked at Bub now, older but still the same in some ways. ‘Look, Dad’s grave is one thing, but Cam’s going to be there too, you know.’

‘He’s not there yet, though.’ Bub had restarted the game and his eyes were glued to the screen. ‘Anyway, I wouldn’t do that to Cam, would I?’

‘I don’t know,’ Nathan said, and Bub looked up sharply.

‘Me and Cam got along fine, thanks. Better than you two did.’

Nathan opened his mouth but was saved by a call from the kitchen. Dinner was ready.

‘You’ll kill the tree if you keep on doing that,’ he muttered as they went through, but Bub shrugged.

‘Like I give a shit. It’s just a tree.’

The atmosphere around the kitchen table already felt subdued. Ilse turned to Nathan as he sat down next to Xander.

‘How did it go out there?’ she asked neutrally. She was flanked by her two daughters, and seemed to be working hard to maintain a brave face.

‘Okay. Glenn’s going to call you,’ he said. ‘He let us bring Cam’s car back. It’s outside.’

Ilse gave a small nod. ‘Thanks.’

Nathan felt a soft hand on his shoulder now and moved his chair to give Liz space to sit down. She looked even worse under artificial light. The skin around her eyes was taut and shiny from crying. Katy put a plate in front of her and Liz stared at it with a faintly puzzled air. The phone in the hallway started ringing and Liz and Harry both pushed their chairs back.

‘I’ll get it,’ Liz said. ‘It might be Glenn.’

‘What did he say to you all?’ Ilse asked as Liz left the room.

‘Nothing much we didn’t already know,’ Harry said. ‘He asked a bit about Cam’s state of mind. How things were going on the property.’